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H just makes himself at home

ShanJosh777ShanJosh777 member
in Single Parents
Granted it is still technically his house too.  But part of his support order is to pay the mortgage while DS and I live in the home, to 'preserve a marital asset.'  Whatev.  But anytime he brings DS home after having him, he comes in, plops down on the couch and hangs out.  Wtf?  Tonight wasn't so bad, I just continued the housework that I was doing and he played with DS.  But dude, if you wanted to hang out with DS longer, you could have kept him longer.  We don't have any formal arrangement where he has to have him back by x time.  I can see this becoming a problem.
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Re: H just makes himself at home

  • mandaphillymandaphilly member

    Don't let it become a problem.

    My parents have been separated for 4 years now. My father lives with an other girl, a really young one.

    And he always comes over here to eat dinner, sing karaoke, chat with my mom about nothing. Don't become my mom. lmao, it's so stupid.

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  • ShanJosh777ShanJosh777 member
    imagemandaphilly:

    Don't let it become a problem.

    My parents have been separated for 4 years now. My father lives with an other girl, a really young one.

    And he always comes over here to eat dinner, sing karaoke, chat with my mom about nothing. Don't become my mom. lmao, it's so stupid.

    lol, that's funny.  So I def won't be getting a karaoke machine.

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  • mandaphillymandaphilly member
    imageShanJosh777:
    imagemandaphilly:

    Don't let it become a problem.

    My parents have been separated for 4 years now. My father lives with an other girl, a really young one.

    And he always comes over here to eat dinner, sing karaoke, chat with my mom about nothing. Don't become my mom. lmao, it's so stupid.

    lol, that's funny.  So I def won't be getting a karaoke machine.

    Haha, well my dad has all the fancy equipment because he's a DJ as a side job at night. So it's all in the basement, waiting to be used.

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  • meghan_mariemeghan_marie member
    That's funny! Try to be civil towards him. Kids can sense when there is tension in the room.
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  • MominatorMominator
    Ugh, I feel your pain. My ex comes over 3 nights a week to watch the kids while I work and as if it isn't enough that I cook dinner for him AND his Mom on those nights, he then goes through my cabinets and eats all my snack foods. I have taken to hiding the good stuff! LOL It's hard to set limits when I need to depend on him to watch the kids, so I'm hoping once this house sells and I get a place all my own and a day job it will be much easier.
    Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/9/11 - 34:24 - 1st race evah!
    Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
    Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
    Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member

    Shan, how did things go at court?  Did I miss the update? 

    Maybe you should try to meet him somewhere when he brings LO home, that way you have control over when you leave, or like the pp said, meet him at the door, or even the car.  I used to be this civil w/ my ex, and he used to come in and hang out w/ my DD, plop himself on the couch, play with the dogs, etc. Things have since gone downhill and I had to write him an email and let him know that he is no longer welcome in my home.  He cannot come in, he can only come to the door.  The last straw was when he came in on Christmas just to start a fight w/ me in front of the kids.  This would not have happened if I had set a clear boundary in the beginning.  GL!

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  • achase123achase123
    Boundaries are important and will be even more so if you start dating again.  Best to set them now....I am saying this but I struggle with it too....ex brings a six pack of beer over usually or looks for a beer in the fridge when he is there.  At least he usually leaves it-so if I have company I don't have to buy microbrew for them-lol!
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  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member

    Sounds like you are trying your best to handle it as best you can.

    My only suggestion would be to do things to make it feel less like the home he used to live in.  For instance--rearrange the furniture, if possible.  Or, if you can afford it, paint the family room.  Do things for yourself--but things that are also a reminder that life is different now.

    Good luck!

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  • MominatorMominator
    imageSmudges*Mom:

    Sounds like you are trying your best to handle it as best you can.

    My only suggestion would be to do things to make it feel less like the home he used to live in.  For instance--rearrange the furniture, if possible.  Or, if you can afford it, paint the family room.  Do things for yourself--but things that are also a reminder that life is different now.

    Good luck!


    I actually did this after my ex moved out. Got a new couch and entertainment center and curtains in the living room, ripped out the carpet and painted and new light fixtures in the foyer and I sold all of our bedroom furniture and bought new. Now THAT was a fresh start LOL

    Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/9/11 - 34:24 - 1st race evah!
    Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
    Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
    Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
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