Let's play: who has the biggest douchebag ex?

achase123 · January 2010

Because I am biased of course, and I think that I will win. But just for shiits and giggles I thought we could list all of the reasons why our X could win the prize. And go!

Here's why my X is the biggest douchebag:

-Cheated on me when I was pregnant

-Uses drugs

-Basically lived somewhere else (had a cabin where he stayed and never came home, or if he did it was super late)

-Never shows up for his scheduled visits

-was on match.com a month after I filed but was still trying to get back together

-was in prison

-lies constantly

-split personalities

-threatens to take his furniture back

-says I wanted to divorce him and it was solely MY decision

and many more things......

peeps61308 · January 2010

Wow, that is quite a list!!!

Let me think...

- split personalities

-drinks WAAAYYY too much

-has shot guns up in the air (in a residential neighborhood when he was upset)

-verbally abusive

-was buying prescription drugs from friends to help treat his anxiety (and I am a cop...lol)

- has only seen DD 2 times since Thanksgiving (for about 5 minutes each)

-didn't come to the hospital when DD was in there for 3 days

-drives *** faced all the time

-also thinks that everything that has happened is totally my fault, I am the one that chose to leave...he didn't want it this way

-has a judgment against him from a strip club (after we split up, which I found out by accident and when i confronted him was told it was none of my business)

-was worried about buying a 4 wheeler the day i was set to be induced. He bought it and then complained when he got home because I wanted to go out to eat with him before we went to the hospial--he wanted to take the 4 wheeler out to ride

I am sure there are many other, but that is all for the moment

peeps61308 · January 2010

lilcyndiluwho:

Here's a top 10 list from a blog post I did one day when I was having a weak day and needed to remind myself why I left. But I've read other people's stories and am pretty sure I don't win the prize.

1. He was fired his job, for refusing to shave, while I was pregnant, and then refused to look for a job for months, all the while complaining that we had no money and demanding that I work more, despite me being pregnant and my horrible all day sickness.

2. He left me alone, pregnant, and took an 8 week vacation to Europe to hang out with his family, after spending our mortgage, car and student loan payments on the plane tickets.

3. He racked up $20k in fraudulent credit card debt after taking out multiple cards in his dad?s and cousin?s names. This had apparently been going on for years before we got married and was later the basis for my originally filing for an annulment, instead of a divorce. I had to pay a shitload of money to keep him from being prosecuted and thrown in jail while I was pregnant.

4. He constantly told me that I was only his wife where as his mother was his family so she came first in his life.

5. He called me a ***, whore, and slut in front of the N-man regularly. Never got physical but I was damn scared it was going to on more than one occasion.

6. He wouldn?t let me walk away from a fight. He used to scream at yell at me when I would try, through closed doors, and pounded on them so loud that the neighbors would call the police. Gotta love condo living. I think there were a total of four calls in the last few months I lived there.

7. He was asked to leave Barnes & Nobel one day after he started screaming at me in the cafe over the fact that I?d asked him, in the parking lot, if I should bring the stroller in with us. I was holding the N-Man when this happened. Again, asked to leave or have the police called. It was humiliating.

8. He screamed at me in a crowded tram car in Salzburg, Austria, while we were on vacation because I asked him where in Europe we would take the N-Man if he got sick while traveling there. He later told me that he thought I was going to sabotage the N-Man?s christening so that made it ok that he did it. As if those two things are remotely related! Again, in front of the N-Man.

9. He screamed at me in a crowded plaza in Pula, Croatia, two weeks into the same trip, when I told him that I was feeling a little homesick. Told me I was a spoiled, selfish, American b!tch who obviously hated his country and everyone there and couldn?t think of anything but herself and going home to eat a fu-king cheeseburger. No really, there?s only one person from Croatia I?ve ever had a problem with. Again? the N-Man? humiliating.

10. He had an affair within a week of me leaving him for what was supposed to be a temporary separation?. with a man. He admitted it to me when I caught him but later denied it to high Heaven. He still denies it. At this point, I don?t really care or feel the need to know, to be honest.

Oh my!! That makes my ex look like a saint!! So sorry you and poor DS had to go through that nonsense!!

achase123 · January 2010

lilcyndiluwho:

Here's a top 10 list from a blog post I did one day when I was having a weak day and needed to remind myself why I left. But I've read other people's stories and am pretty sure I don't win the prize.

1. He was fired his job, for refusing to shave, while I was pregnant, and then refused to look for a job for months, all the while complaining that we had no money and demanding that I work more, despite me being pregnant and my horrible all day sickness.

2. He left me alone, pregnant, and took an 8 week vacation to Europe to hang out with his family, after spending our mortgage, car and student loan payments on the plane tickets.

3. He racked up $20k in fraudulent credit card debt after taking out multiple cards in his dad?s and cousin?s names. This had apparently been going on for years before we got married and was later the basis for my originally filing for an annulment, instead of a divorce. I had to pay a shitload of money to keep him from being prosecuted and thrown in jail while I was pregnant.

4. He constantly told me that I was only his wife where as his mother was his family so she came first in his life.

5. He called me a ***, whore, and slut in front of the N-man regularly. Never got physical but I was damn scared it was going to on more than one occasion.

6. He wouldn?t let me walk away from a fight. He used to scream at yell at me when I would try, through closed doors, and pounded on them so loud that the neighbors would call the police. Gotta love condo living. I think there were a total of four calls in the last few months I lived there.

7. He was asked to leave Barnes & Nobel one day after he started screaming at me in the cafe over the fact that I?d asked him, in the parking lot, if I should bring the stroller in with us. I was holding the N-Man when this happened. Again, asked to leave or have the police called. It was humiliating.

8. He screamed at me in a crowded tram car in Salzburg, Austria, while we were on vacation because I asked him where in Europe we would take the N-Man if he got sick while traveling there. He later told me that he thought I was going to sabotage the N-Man?s christening so that made it ok that he did it. As if those two things are remotely related! Again, in front of the N-Man.

9. He screamed at me in a crowded plaza in Pula, Croatia, two weeks into the same trip, when I told him that I was feeling a little homesick. Told me I was a spoiled, selfish, American b!tch who obviously hated his country and everyone there and couldn?t think of anything but herself and going home to eat a fu-king cheeseburger. No really, there?s only one person from Croatia I?ve ever had a problem with. Again? the N-Man? humiliating.

10. He had an affair within a week of me leaving him for what was supposed to be a temporary separation?. with a man. He admitted it to me when I caught him but later denied it to high Heaven. He still denies it. At this point, I don?t really care or feel the need to know, to be honest.

What makes you so sure he doesn't win the prize?? This is pretty bad!

nbjenni · January 2010

Oh dear lord, let's see...

1. When I was in the hospital at 23 weeks about to lose our girls, he went out drinking. When I called telling him I had contractions and to come back he said "don't kill my babies or I'll divorce you". He then traded naked pics with another woman using my computer and called her with a cell phone he claimed he had lost that night.

2. Was on adult friend finder the week we separated - and I have screen shots of his naked profile pic haha.

3. When we separated last April, he led me to believe he was living at home taking care of his terminally ill father. It turns out he was living with his ex girlfriend and stealing his terminally ill father's morphine. I didn't find this out until last month when we separated for good.

4. Verbally, emotionally and borderline physically abusive.

5. Lies, lies, lies. His former friends dubbed him Lyin' Bryan. They have nothing to do with him anymore.

6. Every name in the book I've been called.

7. Let my cats out of the house at 2am when I was 28 weeks pregnant and laughed as I tried to catch them.

8. Threatened to stab my dad, kidnap one of our babies, and said the other had my family's fat genes and he didn't love her. And I caught all of this on camera, which he then destroyed and chased me with a baby in my arms.

9. Even his family thinks he is bi-polar and needs medication. Anyone who tells him to seek help, he tells them they are the crazy ones.

10. Verbally assaulted my mom on Wednesday when picking up the girls and the sped off with them in the car.

11. Would with hold his paycheck from me, cash and hide it (claiming it was stolen out of his car), but then would drain my bank account when I had bills schedule to come out.

He's single and looking for the poon tang if any of you girls are interested lolz

achase123 · January 2010

nbjenni:

Oh dear lord, let's see...

1. When I was in the hospital at 23 weeks about to lose our girls, he went out drinking. When I called telling him I had contractions and to come back he said "don't kill my babies or I'll divorce you". He then traded naked pics with another woman using my computer and called her with a cell phone he claimed he had lost that night.

2. Was on adult friend finder the week we separated - and I have screen shots of his naked profile pic haha.

3. When we separated last April, he led me to believe he was living at home taking care of his terminally ill father. It turns out he was living with his ex girlfriend and stealing his terminally ill father's morphine. I didn't find this out until last month when we separated for good.

4. Verbally, emotionally and borderline physically abusive.

5. Lies, lies, lies. His former friends dubbed him Lyin' Bryan. They have nothing to do with him anymore.

6. Every name in the book I've been called.

7. Let my cats out of the house at 2am when I was 28 weeks pregnant and laughed as I tried to catch them.

8. Threatened to stab my dad, kidnap one of our babies, and said the other had my family's fat genes and he didn't love her. And I caught all of this on camera, which he then destroyed and chased me with a baby in my arms.

9. Even his family thinks he is bi-polar and needs medication. Anyone who tells him to seek help, he tells them they are the crazy ones.

10. Verbally assaulted my mom on Wednesday when picking up the girls and the sped off with them in the car.

11. Would with hold his paycheck from me, cash and hide it (claiming it was stolen out of his car), but then would drain my bank account when I had bills schedule to come out.

He's single and looking for the poon tang if any of you girls are interested lolz

LMAO-Just this to the poor woman who winds up with him Surprise

kirbear · January 2010

Wow, after reading through these responses, no wonder you refer to them as douchebags! As much as my ex can be an ass and is by no means father of the year- he will not win the award!

I'm so sorry for what you ladies have been through - you are very strong women and great mommies- thank god your LO's have you guys to raise them and not their dads!!!! That would be quite scary.

gracesmom09 · January 2010

Ok so my weirdo EX sounds like nothing compared to some of you ladies. Geez!!

So we dated for 4 years but things really went bad in the summer of 08 as you will see below...

- Bought house with me in June 2008

- Starting talking to some weird girl on the internet in July 08

- Our wedding had been planned and set for October 08. As in invitations sent out, dress bought ( still hanging in my closet), cake/caterers paid for. Basically everything done.

- We ttc for over a year with one m/c. We did everything charts/temps/opk. But once I got pregnant he was pissed! ( see the weird internet girl part)

- While @ work in September 08 some girl calls me and tells me he moved out of my house and left a note on the table. Actually TOOK my car. It was in both of our names but my mom was the one who owned it first and paid it off then gave it to me. I didn't have a license @ the time so I had to put him on the title. Luckily one of my neighborhood police officers called him and scared the crap out him (which really he shouldn't have since his name was on title) and he did return my car.

- He never even meets internet girl cause she was just some crazy liar.

- Tried to not set up child support in court. Just asked him to pay for half of daycare that is it. Has lost so many jobs I cannot even count and hasn't given me a dime since August. Starting to move forward with going to court. Though not expecting they will order any decent amount of $ as he hardly makes anything and is living off unemployment currently.

Fast forward to today and he has started talking to yet another internet girl as of November 08 actually.So well over a year now and still has never even met her and was suppose to about 20 times but every time she cancels. He won't accept that whoever he is talking to is not who they say are. Puts this girl over his daughter as far as priorities are concerned. I got him into a good job with benefits and he pretty much lost it because of all these failed trips to meet this girl. Internet girl won't allow him around me so he rarely sees his daughter as I am not comfortable with him taking her to his apartment. I am nothing but nice to him trying to help him get his life in order. I have no desire to date him or anything but would like him to stop being such a weirdo and be a good example for dd.

Oh and just for the record I did not meet him on the internet. LOL. I met him @ a job.

ladyaylena · January 2010

Wow, we just have some really F'd up stories. I already posted mine in it's own thread. It's long. Moral to the story... don't date from the internet.

meghan_marie · January 2010

Cyndi Lu I don't know how you put up with someone screaming into your face. I would have throat punched the SOB.

meghan_marie · January 2010

Well I think we are all winners for our own reasons. Not that it's particuarly a good thing.

peanutontheway · January 2010

1. Lied to me about his real name. The person he told me he is doesn't exist. He knows I know this yet continues to call. He has and continues to do other equally shady things. (ie: changes his phone number every 2-3 months)

2. I only need 1.......

nire99 · January 2010

Unfortunately, I may win this one.

1. Raped our four year-old.

2. Fled the country (to the sunny Caribbean none the less)

3. Racked up $80,000 in CC bills

4. Got sentenced to 10 years in prison.

mandaphilly · January 2010

nire99:
1. Raped our four year-old.

I am so sorry.

laurieb602 · January 2010

I wanna play even though DB ex passed away 6 years ago 1. Lied to me about his age for over a year.I was 17, he said he was 18...didn't find out the truth until he was hit by a drunk driver and I went to the ER to see him. 2. Completely alienated me from my family and friends. 3. Broke up with me as soon as I told him I was pregnant. 4. Started sleeping with my friend while I was pregnant (they were still together when he died) 5. Said he put a hit out on me because I wouldn't have an abortion. 6. Would drop me off in MY car to work my TWO jobs saying he was going to class at the community college and would instead go pick up my friend and drive her around all day in the car and gas I paid for! 7. Didn't meet DD until she was 3 8. Finally showed up in court for cs when DD was 3 (I hadn't seen or heard from him in 3 years) and then asked for DNA test and left before my mom brought her up to do test (he had never met her at this point) 9. Got into drugs very badly 10. Got pulled over in my car with weed in it at MY feet ( I didn't know it was there) and almost let me go to jail for it (I didn't do weed) 11. Died in a car accident running from the cops cause he was driving with a suspended license. 12. And here's where DB has a DB family...they cancelled cs the day after he died but I had to find out about his death when my mom read in the local paper (I was away at college w dd)...also no mention in obit of even having a daughter but did mention his gf...WTF 13. Had gf call me after I found out to tell me I wasn't welcome at the funeral because they didn't want to meet their granddaughter at their sons funeral...nm the fact I had been trying for them to have a relationship for 5 years. 14. His family is very wealthy and when we went for cs, they moved all his trust funds out of his name so I wouldn't get anything and also tried to pay me a lump sum of $12k to not go after cs.$12 k for the rest of her life! Of course in hindsight I should have just taken it since he didn't end up paying a third of that. 15. My dd was denied any type of her fathers social security because he didn't pay in enough while he was alive...so my senior year of college I lost cs which only covered her day care...I had to work full time in addition to full time school and having her by myself because I was 3 hours from family. There is sooo much more but it's been a long time since my dd is 11! Good news is, you make it! I finished college, got a fab job, bought a house for dd and myself, working on my masters, found the man of my dreams (who was my best friend in high school!) and got married last week...he will be adopting dd and hopefully bfs family won't put up a fight considering they've never even met her despite numerous attempts on my part.

meghan_marie · January 2010

nire99:

Unfortunately, I may win this one.

1. Raped our four year-old.

OMG! That's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear that.

But no sweetheart. Douchebag doesn't even come close to being a good name for your ex. How is she doing?

nire99 · January 2010

meghan_marie:
nire99:

Unfortunately, I may win this one.

1. Raped our four year-old.

OMG! That's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear that.

But no sweetheart. Douchebag doesn't even come close to being a good name for your ex. How is she doing?

She's actually doing really well. She just graduated from individual therapy after one year and is going to start group therapy next month. She's a remarkable little girl that's for sure. Thanks for asking.

meghan_marie · January 2010

That's good. I'm glad to hear that! I'll keep her in my prayers. Poor baby. I don't think I could ever trust a man again, especially if that happened to me at such a young age. She's an amazing little girl.

achase123 · January 2010

lilcyndiluwho:
nire99:

1. Raped our four year-old.

4. Got sentenced to 10 years in prison.

Oh geezus I am SO sorry. And for that the SOB only got 10 years?

Me too! I think you win, nire99.

achase123 · January 2010

laurieb602:
I wanna play even though DB ex passed away 6 years ago 1. Lied to me about his age for over a year.I was 17, he said he was 18...didn't find out the truth until he was hit by a drunk driver and I went to the ER to see him. 2. Completely alienated me from my family and friends. 3. Broke up with me as soon as I told him I was pregnant. 4. Started sleeping with my friend while I was pregnant (they were still together when he died) 5. Said he put a hit out on me because I wouldn't have an abortion. 6. Would drop me off in MY car to work my TWO jobs saying he was going to class at the community college and would instead go pick up my friend and drive her around all day in the car and gas I paid for! 7. Didn't meet DD until she was 3 8. Finally showed up in court for cs when DD was 3 (I hadn't seen or heard from him in 3 years) and then asked for DNA test and left before my mom brought her up to do test (he had never met her at this point) 9. Got into drugs very badly 10. Got pulled over in my car with weed in it at MY feet ( I didn't know it was there) and almost let me go to jail for it (I didn't do weed) 11. Died in a car accident running from the cops cause he was driving with a suspended license. 12. And here's where DB has a DB family...they cancelled cs the day after he died but I had to find out about his death when my mom read in the local paper (I was away at college w dd)...also no mention in obit of even having a daughter but did mention his gf...WTF 13. Had gf call me after I found out to tell me I wasn't welcome at the funeral because they didn't want to meet their granddaughter at their sons funeral...nm the fact I had been trying for them to have a relationship for 5 years. 14. His family is very wealthy and when we went for cs, they moved all his trust funds out of his name so I wouldn't get anything and also tried to pay me a lump sum of $12k to not go after cs.$12 k for the rest of her life! Of course in hindsight I should have just taken it since he didn't end up paying a third of that. 15. My dd was denied any type of her fathers social security because he didn't pay in enough while he was alive...so my senior year of college I lost cs which only covered her day care...I had to work full time in addition to full time school and having her by myself because I was 3 hours from family. There is sooo much more but it's been a long time since my dd is 11! Good news is, you make it! I finished college, got a fab job, bought a house for dd and myself, working on my masters, found the man of my dreams (who was my best friend in high school!) and got married last week...he will be adopting dd and hopefully bfs family won't put up a fight considering they've never even met her despite numerous attempts on my part.

Is it considered bad form to say that I am jealous of this part of your story?

judyzee · January 2010

achase123:

laurieb602:
I wanna play even though DB ex passed away 6 years ago 1. Lied to me about his age for over a year.I was 17, he said he was 18...didn't find out the truth until he was hit by a drunk driver and I went to the ER to see him. 2. Completely alienated me from my family and friends. 3. Broke up with me as soon as I told him I was pregnant. 4. Started sleeping with my friend while I was pregnant (they were still together when he died) 5. Said he put a hit out on me because I wouldn't have an abortion. 6. Would drop me off in MY car to work my TWO jobs saying he was going to class at the community college and would instead go pick up my friend and drive her around all day in the car and gas I paid for! 7. Didn't meet DD until she was 3 8. Finally showed up in court for cs when DD was 3 (I hadn't seen or heard from him in 3 years) and then asked for DNA test and left before my mom brought her up to do test (he had never met her at this point) 9. Got into drugs very badly 10. Got pulled over in my car with weed in it at MY feet ( I didn't know it was there) and almost let me go to jail for it (I didn't do weed) 11. Died in a car accident running from the cops cause he was driving with a suspended license. 12. And here's where DB has a DB family...they cancelled cs the day after he died but I had to find out about his death when my mom read in the local paper (I was away at college w dd)...also no mention in obit of even having a daughter but did mention his gf...WTF 13. Had gf call me after I found out to tell me I wasn't welcome at the funeral because they didn't want to meet their granddaughter at their sons funeral...nm the fact I had been trying for them to have a relationship for 5 years. 14. His family is very wealthy and when we went for cs, they moved all his trust funds out of his name so I wouldn't get anything and also tried to pay me a lump sum of $12k to not go after cs.$12 k for the rest of her life! Of course in hindsight I should have just taken it since he didn't end up paying a third of that. 15. My dd was denied any type of her fathers social security because he didn't pay in enough while he was alive...so my senior year of college I lost cs which only covered her day care...I had to work full time in addition to full time school and having her by myself because I was 3 hours from family. There is sooo much more but it's been a long time since my dd is 11! Good news is, you make it! I finished college, got a fab job, bought a house for dd and myself, working on my masters, found the man of my dreams (who was my best friend in high school!) and got married last week...he will be adopting dd and hopefully bfs family won't put up a fight considering they've never even met her despite numerous attempts on my part.

Is it considered bad form to say that I am jealous of this part of your story?

Ditto!

laurieb602 · January 2010

I do have to say it makes life so much easier...I don't wish death on anyone but he was wreckless and paid the price and now I do not have to deal with him or his family...I've never known what it was like to wave goodbye to my dd while some sob drives off with her for the weekend and even though in the last 11 years I felt like I needed that kinda break...the tradeoff was too great and I really couldn't imagine having to let him take her!

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