A girlfriend of mine told me yesterday that she went out on a breakfast date. When the check came, the guy picks it up, looks at it and says, "I got $20 on this." She thought he was kidding at first but soon realized that he was serious. He then told her that on the next date, he'll pay for it all because this was just a test date. She paid and quickly excused herself while deleting his number from her phone.
I went out with a guy to see that movie Beloved. At the end of the movie, Thandie Newton is standing nude on the porch with the biggest bush I've ever seen. My date let it be known that he found that to be sexy. This totally turned me off and I faked sick so he could take me home. I know, that is totally petty of me. This lady needed some serious cutting, trimming and waxing. And why would you exclaim on a first date that you like the big bush?
Re: Describe the worst date(s) you've been on
I went out with a guy who spent the entire date bashing the South (and he knew before we went out that I was from there).
My worst date ever:
He orders a martini shaken, not stirred. (You can see where this is going, I hope?)
When said martini comes, he says he is obsessed with James Bond, has seen all the movies, blah blah.
Then he picks up martini glass, and says, while attempting to make sexy eyes at me, "This is how James Bond drinks his martini." Takes a sip of martini, while trying to look sexy.
I played nice, but left after 30 minutes.
eeewwwwwwwww
During high school summers I worked at a pool with a bunch of other teenagers. This guy had a major crush on me, and pestered me for months to go out with him so I went on a pity date.
His idea of taking me to dinner was Burger King.
Then we went to see Big Daddy. He knew I was a big Adam Sandler fan, so that was good, but in the middle of the movie he looks at me and asks if he can put his arm around me. It was super awkward. Of course I told everyone at work about the whole ordeal.
But, this was also the only time anyone had ever taken me on a date so I guess he wins points for that.
Hmm. I'm sure I'll think of an even worse one later.
Not long after I started internet dating, this guy and I met up at a bar, and after we ordered drinks, he told me that he forgot his wallet. I said I thought he needed to go home to get it (he only lived a few blocks away). I wasn't sure if he left it on purpose or what, but he went to get it and came back, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We ended up having a decent time, and then at the end of the night I ended up walking him home somehow. I think I must have been going to the T or looking for a cab. We stopped at his door to say goodnight, and he proceeded to ask if I wanted to go upstairs to blow him.
I met my date at his house. He took me back to his room to show me something "very exciting." He pulls out a backpack full of 'shrooms. (I mean thousands of them.) We then go to a concert (admittedly a hippie concert) where he keeps saying "Happy Birthday" and handing me handfuls of 'shrooms.
He leaves me to go dance up front and I don't see him again until the end of the concert. We leave when it is over and he leaves me standing by the car waiting for him. He returns with an empty ballon (meaning he has just taken nitrous.) We then get in the car where he proceeds to do about 3 lines of coke while I sit and watch. Like an idiot, I rode home w/ him driving.
I will admit he offered to share everything with me, so at least he was a nice guy. ;p
My parents' sweet neighbor set us up, so I felt like I had to go. Dinner was ok, not horrid not awesome. We went to get a drink. In the car he got a call and told the guy on the other end that 'Jamoko Smith was totally in the area' (he was a cop) He got super wasted. Later he told me that was his code to his buddies that I was hot. He turned into a drunken tool and then wanted to drive me home hammered (again, he was a cop,) He also spent 1/2 the time telling me how he killed some one the week before and how awesome it was.
I called a cab and never answered his call. It took him two months to stop calling me.
Now if he looked like Sean Connery then I might have been ok with this. Otherwise, no.
I am using this line on you from now on. Fair warning.
Coming out of lurkdom here:
I went on a few dates with this really handsome football player in high school. On our first date, he pulls up in this hot, hot jet black corvette to pick me up. I was only a sophomore in high school, so imagine the swooning going on. He took me out for a really fancy dinner at a local restaurant. Then we headed to the movie theater.
Well, if you've ever been in a corvette you'll know that there isn't a whole lot of foot room. And he was a big football player. While pulling into the parking space, he accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake. Before I know it, we're completely underneath the car parked ahead of us. I mean, if you looked through the windshield you could see the bottom of the car.
So what does he do? Back up, check the damage, pull into another spot, and then cry through Message In a Bottle. Turns out, he really wanted to impress me, so he borrowed his BILs corvette. He didn't want to report the accident because if he did, he'd lose his license because of all the previous accidents he'd been in. He then proceeds to tell me about one he'd been in a few months before where he went through the windsheild of his truck and had to get all kinds of plastic surgery to cover up the damage. The night ended with him running my hand down his neck to feel the glass still imbedded in his skin.
I dated him once more after that, almost because I felt so sorry for the ruined corvette.
A guy from my church asked me to go to his prom with him. I agreed because he was a nice quiet boy. I didn't know how quiet. I tried to make small talk with him but didn't get more than two or three word answers the entire night. Then when he finally does open it, it is to tell me he thought about attempting suicide earlier that week. While I felt bad for the guy, I had no idea what to say. I don't remember why we left the prom but when we tried to get back in they wouldn't allow us to enter. So I had to sit outside in my prom dress for 45 minutes waiting for his father to come pick us up. It was a complete nightmare.
"I'm not telling you it's gonna be easy. I'm telling you it's gonna be worth it." -Art Williams
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein