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Toddlers potty trained at daycare but struggling at home?

DD will go potty all day long at daycare, ( she wears pull ups there) and they tell me she hardly ever goes in her pull up and is ready for underwear, which I'm psyched about, BUT at home its everything I can do to get her to NOT go in her pull ups!!! I take her to the potty every 15-20mins and she'll only go about 1/2 the time, the other half she goes in her pull ups between potty trips, I've tried putting her in undies so it would be more uncomfortable for her when she did have an accident and maybe get " OH I should go in the potty" BUT the other day between potty trips she went #2 in her undies and didn't even tell me ( she was upstairs playing in her room, I was downstairs) until I went to get her for another potty break....I know #2 comes later, but really? I thought she'd be more uncomfortable with poopy underwear than she was. I'm getting frustrated, any advice on how to get her to do just as good at home as she does at daycare??

Re: Toddlers potty trained at daycare but struggling at home?

  • I'm guessing its the peer pressure from the other kids.  She sees everyone else doing it and then she does it too.
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  • i could have written this post. 

    Carson is staying totally dry at daycare and goes on the potty every time.  he even tells the teachers during play and lunch time that he has to go.

    at home a whole different ball game.  he will go from staying very dry for a few hours at a time to totally wet. i am not putting him on the potty every 15-20 minutes though.  i ask him about every hour......but getting him to stop what he is doing at home is like moving mountains.  sometimes i can coax him to the potty and sometimes it's a no go.

    i told his teacher this morning.  she feels like he just needs to be in underwear and once he gets over that first few days to one week he will be trained.  we will be starting this next week.  just have to close my eyes and go with it. lol!

     

  • Maybe start being more militant about it at home.  Clear the weekend and just set your timer for every 30 minutes.  Put her in underwear and just plan on taking her to the potty every 30 minutes.  As they do it according to schedule at daycare, it will probably help if you can evolve some kind of potty schedule at home.  So start with the 30 minute increments and you will likely get her trained to tell you when she has to go.  Of course, this is me speaking from what I plan to do, not past experience, but feel free to try it out for me!  And FWIW, that's what most of the moms on my local board recommended.  One even turned it into a potty party and had little horns and stuff they would blow on the way to the potty.


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • Same frustration here!  My boys are home with a nanny now but they are great for her.  For me, not so much.

    They know when they have to go and sometimes will stop what they are doing to go to the bathroom.  And I can usually get them to pee if I tell them to go potty before Diego starts for example.  But BM's are a totally different story. 

    The other morning I asked Andrew if he wanted big boy pants or a pull up.  He said, "Mama, pull up keeps pee pee in."  I guess that explains it!

    I am thinking about not buying pull ups once our stash runs out.  Then the boys will have to use their underwear and I will have to deal with the consequences.  I really don't know what else to do at this point other than wait it out.

    image

    My twins are 5! My baby is 3!

    DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi

    DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame

  • With my DD there's no way she would have gotten PT'd if we'd kept her in Pullups.  It's really just a diaper and they know they can pee in it.  In fact our PTing was totally sabotaged when her new preschool started putting her in a Pullup every afternoon.  She started having accidents constantly.  I had to call the school and ask them to stop with the Pullups.  How could we expect her to remember that sometimes it's okay to pee her pants (with the Pullup on) and sometimes it's not okay (with the underwear on)? 

    My advice is always to ditch the diapers/Pullups and go hard core with the underwear.  It might be a tough couple weeks but I think you'll see a difference.

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  • ditto pp's on ditching the pullups. DD has been in undies for months and rarely has accidents, but she'll STILL pee in a pullup if she has one on, without saying a word.

    It may just take some time, too. We had the opposite problem, DD usually did great on the potty at home, but had accidents galore at daycare. One day, it was like a switch flipped. She went from coming home every day in different clothes and with 4-5 pairs of wet undies in her bag, to having maybe 2-3 small accidents a week.

    So... be patient. If she's doing well at daycare, she clearly knows what she needs to do, and then you may just need to get over the toddler "I'll do it MY way, thank you very much" hump Smile

    Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

  • I'm no expert, so don't take me too seriously, but I have heard that one of the most important things to teach children during potty training is that going to the potty is THEIR responsibility.  They need to hear that they are now in charge of their own bodily functions and they are responsible for getting themselves to the bathroom when their body needs it.  Could it be that this message is being communicated better in daycare than it is at home?  I can see how with all the other kids around, she would feel less like it's someone else's problem and take responsibility, but at home, she might feel more like it's mommy's responsibility since she is the one who takes me to the bathroom every 15.
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  • It is very normal for kids to potty train at daycare before they do at home due to the peer pressure/seeing other kids go and the fact that it becomes part of the class routine when they are training.  My older DD was trained at school before she was at home although my younger DD is going way more at home but she sees her big sis go all the time and wants to be like her and she is not yet in the class where they really potty train (she will move to that class in about a month and a half when she turns 2).  Anyway, my suggestion is to just go for it and put her in undies and plan on lots and lots of laundry.  Also, rather than forcing your child to sit on the potty every 15-20 mins, come up with a schedule like they have at daycare.  Ask what time daycare takes the kids to the potty or do times such as 1st thing in the morning, after breakfast, before morning snack, before and after nap, before afternoon snack. before dinner and before bed.  I found with my older DD that my asking her if she had to go or telling her it was time to sit on the potty worked in reverse as she didn't want to be told what to do, remember she is at that age where she wants some control of her life and going on the potty is something she can try and control.  You can also start a reward system at this point since it is clear your child knows what to do.  We did 1 Skittle for pee and 2 for Poop (only did this for about 2 weeks) and then we also did a big reward chart after that.  DD got a star for every day she kept her undies clean and after 5 stars she got a special treat. Again, all of this did not last more than a few weeks.  And remember, poop can take longer for kids to be comfy doing in the potty and nighttime/naptime can also take a lot longer.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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