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Single Parents
My story (long)
So since I kinda intro'd myself last night, I figured I'd share my "how I got here" story.
I was with a guy...my best friend...for 7.5 years. He never wanted kids and never asked me to marry him ... never wanted to do anything unless it revolved around him. One day I left...left my big beautiful home, and my almost perfect relationship behind only to realize that I missed it and wanted him back. That's when he decided to start screwing one of my close friends...I was a mess for a very long time. I still have problems with it. It still hurts. So I shut myself into my apartment and didn't go out much. Started relying on internet for social life...etc.
I met a guy online through a game I used to play. We were just friends because I assumed he was screwing around with this chick we both knew who lives in Canada. Well, one day he sees a pic of me and starts flirting like mad. I am a big flirt so I was okay with it, plus he was pretty good looking...so yeah why not? Well a month or so goes by and we'd been talking a lot and on the phone for hours at night. He tells me he's got all kinds of money and he owns two businesses. That he doesn't speak to his family because of some ordeal when he was younger. He asks if I would come see him. My first thought was about little miss canada.. and he said they were just friends. I wasn't working and he said he'd pay for gas and everything so I decided to take a little ride from Kentucky up to Pennsylvania (it's about 7 hours). I show up there and we are instantly attracted to each other. (It was a great weekend!) So I go home all satisfied and happy. So we decided not to let our other friends online know what was going on. I honestly can't remember why...but looking back I should have seen it as RED FLAG #1. Everything continued between us as far as phone calls and stuff...so the day after Thanksgiving I go back up there again. This right after he tells me his 3 year old nephew died of a fever and how he was so upset that he never got to know him. We spend another nice week together and off home I go. About 3 weeks later I find out I am pregnant. I was a flipping mess... 35 years old and not working and technically single. When I told him about it he freaked out. Was telling me he loved me all of the sudden and stuff. He BEGGED me to have an abortion and promised me the world if I did...but told me if I kept it, he was going to be a deadbeat dad. I was crushed. I didn't know what the hell to do. I turned to my family. My family propped me back up and told me that no matter what I decided to do, that they would support me 100%. Then my mother sat me down and told me that she knew I always wanted to be a mother. That even though the circumstances were not the best, if I decided to terminate, I would never forgive myself. Sometimes I think my mom knows me better than I do...lol. I don't think I ever really was even contemplating termination, but the option was there and I had to act responsibly. So I went back to Sperm donor and told him what I was going to do. By then a month had already gone by and he figured I was keeping the baby anyway. He started getting all snippy with me telling me he'd help "as much as he can" and I better not start threatening him with taking everything he owns and stuff...WTF??? So I went along with it figuring there isn't a whole lot you can do until the baby is here anyway and I didn't want him taking off. We'd have conversations and I'd want to tell him about the doctors appointments or what not. He'd always change the subject and want to keep the conversation light. At one point he told me he found out his father died of a heart attack...spent hours on the phone with him crying to me and stuff. Then I had to have an amnio...I was scared to death but they though the baby might have Down Syndrome. He was ZERO support...just blew it off. Then I had the 3D ultrasound done where you could see the baby's face and stuff... shortly thereafter (after he got a copy via e-mail) he split. He disconnected his phone, moved from his apartment and disappeared. In August I had Liam...a healthy beautiful baby boy! I tried sending sperm donor pictures, they just came back. Then when Liam was about 2 months, he called me out of the blue. Started begging me to let him back into my life and Liam's. I was cautious, but glad that he was stepping up. Then I found out that everything he told me about himself was a complete lie. His nephew never died...his father never died...he never owned any businesses...he was just as poor as could be. I told him that since he told me all this now, the slate was clean and he better not F up. For three days we texted and talked and flirted again like usual. He was saying how he was going to come visit us and how much he loves us... then the third day he tells me he has a girlfriend. WTF?! THREE days in and he's lying already!! That's when I stopped talking to him all the time and stopped sending him pictures. I barely know this guy... So, now we are in the midst of child support stuff. waiting on all the DNA crap. I haven't seen a friggin dime from him and his calls are getting further apart. It seems that his GF was "cool with him having a kid" and all his new friends have kids so it was ok for him to have one. he wanted me to text him pictures so he could show off Liam. Luckily, his phone died and he lost all the pics and I won't send him any more. lol... ass. As far as I am concerned, he's a pathological liar and has no business being around a child. Oh and I also found out that he WAS seeing miss canada... she and I are now good friends and bash him together, lol.
SO now I am still unemployed and looking for work. I think if it weren't for my mom I wouldn't have made it. I still have some issues to deal with. I'm going to consult a lawyer here soon about my obgyn. i had a 4th degree tear that she didn't sew up properly so I've healed wrong and now I need surgery to correct it. Yea, if its not hard enough finding a date being a single mother, now I also have stuff broke "downstairs" and wouldn't let a guy near me if it DID get serious. Honestly though, Liam is the only man I want in my life right now. I can't imagine giving him less that 100% of my attention. So being single doesn't totally bother me 
I have definitely realized in this past year how strong of a woman I am!
Sorry if this all sounds jumbled...I didn't realize how much has gone on!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My story (long)
HAHA Yeah right. He already told you if you didn't terminate the pregnancy that he would be a "deadbeat dad", AND he's broke. Now I'm assuming he's claiming he's not the father. Consider yourself lucky if you EVER get a dime from him. He's a typical good for nothing DB ex. It's okay though. At least Liam won't grow up to be a liar like his father. :]
And boy o boy aylena you made one pretty baby!
Call me horribly old school but this is why I am a proponent of NOT meeting people via the Internet.
You simply do not know what you're getting.
Sorry for your troubles.
Thanks you all!
I love this board already. I am really starting to loathe the 3-6 board. I'll just keep my trap shut for a couple weeks until I'm on the 6-12. been lurking over there anyway.
And no, I won't be meeting any more internet people... I already had serious trust issues and now they are FAR worse!