Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Quote yourself

Things you thought you would never have to say:

"Please stop biting the toilet seat". 

"Stop eating the dog food."

"Stop sticking your fingers int he dogs butthole."

 

Re: Quote yourself

  • Music "There's a party in my tummy, so yummy so yummy" Music
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  • DH "Did he poop or fart?"

    Me "just farted"

    Yeah, I'm the butt sniffer in the house

  • I'm laughing because the other day I had to tell DD "NO NO~don't grab leo's(our dog) birdie!"
  • "Audrey, we don't need to lick the floor."
  • ""Don't stick your toothbrush in your butt."

    DC likes to "brush" teeth while the bath is running and apparently found a new area to scrub. Good thing I had a back up brush:)

  • Stop playing with your poop!  Yeah, DD will stick her hands in her diaper and play with it.  Gross.
  • imageMonkeybuttwhat:

     

    "Stop eating the dog food."

     

    I am constantly trying to keep my kid out of the dog bowl.  I've gotten to the point where, after it's in her mouth, I don't even try to take it away.  whatever, kid.... you want dog food, eat freakin' dog good.  Little Dog (the dog from whom she steals) is none too pleased.

  • "MusicMusic We've got to change the dieties (what we call diapers), the dieties, the dieties, we've got to change the dieties so they can eat the pee pees! We've got to change the dieties, the dieties the dieties, we've got to change the dieties so they can eat the poo poos!MusicMusic"

     He cracks up everytime.  Makes diaper changes a lot smoother. 

    I'm a little embarrassed that I'm admitting I sing this. Embarrassed

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  • Stop licking the dog's tongue.
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  • "emmy, please don't wipe your butt with your apron"

    seriously.  we're potty trained/training and she thinks any time she's naked she needs to wipe her butt Confused

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  • Omg at the toothbrush in the butt lol

    Jeesibell your sig pic is like my FB pic! Only it is DD and I in our matching Ravens jersey's! 

  • imagelpennie16:

    Yeah, I'm the butt sniffer in the house

    So am I haha. So far my quote has been "clean up clean up, everybody clean up" haha
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  • "Noah, please don't look at me while you're touching yourself."

    DS loves to 'discover' his boy parts while taking a bath, and he'll just sit there and stare at me while he explores.  Freaks.me.out. 

  • "Tables are not for climbing!" 

    "Leave that cactus alone! I told you that it would hurt!"

    "Rocks are not for eating."

    "Please don't lick the stroller wheel!"

    "Get away from the dog poop/pee/puke/insert nasty substance found on city sidewalks."

    "Those are my breasts, not my belly button." 

  • "Don't throw the book in the toilet"

    "Get your paci out of the cat's water bowl...but don't put it in your mouth!!" (I was too late)

    "Stop stepping on the cat"

     

  • "you don't have boobs you just have a chest and nipples"

    "stop lifting Mommy's shirt and saying boob"

    My boy's definitely going to be a boob man.

    "we have to put your clothes on before you vacuum"

  • "Don't lick your sister"
  • 'Do you want to watch TV?'

    'No, no don't touch Daddy's penis. You can only touch our own penis and it's ok to touch it.'

  • imageaforst:

    "MusicMusic We've got to change the dieties (what we call diapers), the dieties, the dieties, we've got to change the dieties so they can eat the pee pees! We've got to change the dieties, the dieties the dieties, we've got to change the dieties so they can eat the poo poos!MusicMusic"

     He cracks up everytime.  Makes diaper changes a lot smoother. 

    I'm a little embarrassed that I'm admitting I sing this. Embarrassed

    Maddie calls diapers "dieties" too. So I end up calling them the same alot.

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  • "How we gonna wake up Jeff? How we gonna wake up Jeff? Put your hands upon your head! How we gonna wake up Jeff? It didn't work!"

    "No. We're not getting the vacuum back out."

    "Please stop licking the chair."

  • "No, no, no, Ganesh! Please put Ganesh down!"

    (We have a little statue of Ganesh that DS likes to pick up off a shelf.)

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  • "don't hit daddy on his weiner cheeks"
  • OMG, I am crying I am laughing so hard at all of these. 

    We've had a similar toothbrush/bath experience as a PP so I've said, "Your vagina is self-cleaning, you don't need to use your toothbrush,"  but I can't think of anything else particularly noteworthy at the moment.  (Now I usually just say "Toothbrushes are for teeth,"  I think she actually understands that phrase. 

  • "Stop licking the dog!"

    "Noooooo!! Don't brush your hair with Mommy's toothbrush!!"

    "Don't chew on your shoes!" ~ every time we're in the car I hear this weird squeaking noise and when I look back DS is chewing on the front of his sneakers!

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  • "Pennies go in your piggy bank...not in your belly."?

    "No, no, no! Don't eat out of the cat bowl!"

    Quote my mom says to Q: "Do you have to go poop-a-loop?"?

  • 'Jackson Dane, pulling Rosco's (our dog) penis is NOT NICE.  NO TOUCH'
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  • Please take the cow out of your pants.
  • "Don't chew on you're socks"

    "Don't lick mommy's shoes"

    My favorite from a neighbor: "Baseball bats are for baseballs, not brothers"...upon kid swinging bat at other kid.

  • "Stop licking the floor"

    "Please stop glueing eyeballs to your head!" My 4yr old was doing arts and crafts..and got a little too creative haha.

    "Sippys don't belong in the oven!"

  • "Lucy don't lick the box we know where it's been" yea that one was in public...
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  • Stop eating mama's heels!

    Don't pull kitty's tail! We pet nice. No, no, no! Don't bite kitty! 

     

    Stasa 01.15.09 * Lexi 03.24.11 * Tommy 04.27.13 * Merklet #4 due 10.10.15

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  • No no!  No riding the cat!

  • "Please stop putting your hand in the dog's mouth.  She doesn't like it.  No, don't put it in your mouth."

    "Sit still, I'm trying to get your boogies out of your nose, so you can breathe better."

    "Please don't stick the pen into the printer.  That's how you broke the last one."

     

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  • Gabby quit digging in your butt!

    Mommy is not a jungle gym.  Please stop standing on my belly!

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  • "Max, how did tv remote get in the toilet?"

    "Max, don't stick your hand in the toilet."

    "Max, don't stick your HEAD in the toilet!"

    most of mine are about the toilet, lol.

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