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Working Moms
RE: How involved is your dh with dc's routine?
Just out of curiosity, what does your dh do to contribute? My dh works pt on top of his ft job on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays, so I pretty much handle everything from getting dinner ready on those nights, getting lunches packed at night, clothes prepped, asthma treatments when needed, bath, teeth brushed, pj's etc., and in the am, I get him up, dressed and play/read if time. My dh does some of these things when he is off from his pt job.
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Re: RE: How involved is your dh with dc's routine?
VERY involved. I wouldn't survive if he weren't.
he gets ready in the morning while I feed Harrison. Then he takes over until we load up the car so I can get ready.
When we get home, he is completely hands-on from feeding, bath, & he's the one that puts him to bed.
I'e always done pretty much everything, but I only worked 24 hours/week. I recenlty went up to 32 hours/week and it was killing me to still do everything. So, we're slowy getting DH up to speed, and starting in Feb, he's responsible for his fair share.
he's pretty involved in the AM
he loads my car Mon - Thurs & on Mon & Tues he drives her to my mother's
i take care of everything on Fri because she goe to my MIL's
there isn't much he can do when he gets home from work @ 7 because she goes down by 7:30- but he will hold her for 20 min or so which allows me to inhale dinner & do some things.
he doesn't get up with her or put her to bed- but i prefer to do that anyway.
and on the weekends he's a gem during the day. he'll hold her & change her & feed her & etc etc.
look at the birds | bless this food
he has been involved from day one. he almost always does the bath and we switch on and off putting him to bed.
i would think that your dh is pretty exhausted working two jobs.
Right now, he's pretty much running the show. I'm working 3 days/week and pg with twins with awful morning sickness so he's been SUCH a superstar for 2 months now. He does everything- up in the morning, bedtime routine and manages a very stressful job on top of that and alot of hours. He's seriously such a gem.
When I'm healthy, I used to do alot- we'd split the nighttime routines, I'd usually do the mornings. He's always been super involved on weekends.
He's not totally un-involved, but it's definitely not 50/50 either. Tasks related to DD default to me unless I ask for DH's help. And he's not always excited about helping.
I get DD ready in the morning, because I WFH and DH goes into the office so I don't really have to get ready. He'll sometimes help if I need to shower in the morning (if I can't do it at lunch). I usually drive her to school and him to the train (he walks to the train from her school) and pick her up in the evening. I play with her when she gets home, while he usually works on his laptop . If I'm making a more complex dinner he'll play with her but that's rare. I make and feed her dinner. He helps with bathtime. I put her to bed. Now thinking about all this I feel pretty bitter!
This is almost exactly our routine. DH and I ride to work together and he helps from the minute we get up until the minute we go to bed. He even comes with me to feed LO during our lunch breaks most days.
We don't have a definite division of labor, but we are pretty much both working (either at home or at work) or playing with our kids from when we wake up in the morning until about 30-60 minutes before we go to bed at night when we talk and watch TV.
We switch days off for illness. I do all of the pedi visits. I know a lot more about what they are eating, when nap times are, etc. DH does all of the diaper changes at home, and he comes up with the best games.
He's certainly not perfect though, and most of our fights are still about chores.
Me=Jealous
I do everything realated to DD. He tried to be nice the other day and changed her diaper (put it on backwards--how do you do that!?) and it was probably the 5th diaper he has changed in her whole 13 months! I dress/bathe/feed/drop off/pick up/ hold/get up in the middle of the night...he does play with her in the evenings and will help me give her medicine- thats about it.
thanks to jennied
50/50 for us.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
He does all the kitchen cleanup after dinner and baths every night. That is pretty much his responsibility during the week, since I am home Mon-Fri and do all the dropoff and pickups froms school, preschool, and daycare, and all the errands. He is on his own Friday nights until Sunday afternoon, I work Fri night, sleep during the day Saturday, and work again on Saturday night....so he does bedtime and baths on those nights too.
He takes them to weekend activities, birthday parties, and will run his errands with them on Sat/Sun, like Home Depot, etc. He also takes them to church on Sunday mornings, I will sometimes meet them there, and then they all go out to lunch together after church, which is pretty cool.
My DH is extremely involved. He works one night/week, so on that night I do it all myself, but all of the other nights we share all of the duties. We switch off doing baths/putting them to bed. I usually make DD1's lunch and get DD2's bottles ready, just because he always ends up asking me "what should I pack her for lunch??" So it's easier for me to do that! In the morning, it depends on whose day it is to take them to daycare, so we switch off getting them ready in the morning.
He is off every Thursday (works every other weekend) and I'm off every Friday (work 32 hours/week), so they only go to daycare 3 days. I really love the balance they have, daycare, then 1 day with Daddy and 1 day with Mommy (weekends we're always so busy, I don't really count those days!) And it's great because DH is very aware of their schedules and I can leave him with them anytime without having to list out every single thing, he knows exactly what he's doing!
eh....probably not as much as I wish he was. DH is a HS football coach & Chessa was born in the middle of the season. So for the first 6 weeks, I did all the heavy lifting. By the time the season was over and he was around more, I think he felt like I "did it better", so he just let me continue. He doesn't realize that I spent many of those first couple week crying when she cried, not eating, showering or brushing my teeth.
He's become more involved now and he's head over heels in love with his daughter. But I'm not gonna lie, it's not what I thought it would be and for a few weeks back there it really caused some resentment.
I'm jealous of those of you who have really involved husbands.
::sigh:: pity party over.