Shower for your second?

ldoo · January 2010

Anyone else doing a baby shower for #2? And for the same gender?

I'm not doing it for the gifts. I don't care about that. We have nearly everything we need.

I just think each child should be celebrated. I'm not going to ignore the fact that I'm having another baby. I want her to be greeted with just as much excitement as the first child.

And since everyone loves #1 so much, I could see how they'd be more attached to her and not so much with the second child.

A shower, I think, is one way to get people more involved in the second child.

Thoughts?

emilynichole1 · January 2010

This topic gets a lot of flames but I really don't understand why! I am having another girl and will also be having another shower. My dd is 25 months and I really have everything I need. I am not having a shower for gifts, I want to celebrate dd2. She is just as special and deserves a party also. My family and friends that will be coming feel the same way. As for anyone who may be offended well... don't come. Easy as that )

snickerdoodle27 · January 2010

I totally didn't expect a shower for my 2nd but I did get one. We have all the big stuff, but it was fun to receive so many new clothes and stuff for a little girl!

eris1995 · January 2010

I will not be having a shower for my 2nd. There are some that have a "sprinkle" instead of a shower for their 2nd. If you don't care about the gifts are you going to state that on the invitation?

We might have a small get together after the baby is born so he/she can be celebrated then.

howleyshell · January 2010

I think it's interesting that you're talking about it like YOU plan to do it.

Has anyone even offered to host one for you?

I personally think 2nd showers are tacky but I also understand that it's a regional thing.

I was offered one and declined.

It's just not my style to have a party for a second where there's an expectation of a gift.

You can easily celebrate a second by having a "meet the baby" party that you throw yourself once they're here.

And - I personally don't think a baby shower helps people attach to a child. I think meeting them and being around them is what builds that bond in people's lives - not sitting around watching you open presents.

HarrietNJMommy · January 2010

howleyshell:

I think it's interesting that you're talking about it like YOU plan to do it.

Has anyone even offered to host one for you?

I personally think 2nd showers are tacky but I also understand that it's a regional thing.

I was offered one and declined.

It's just not my style to have a party for a second where there's an expectation of a gift.

You can easily celebrate a second by having a "meet the baby" party that you throw yourself once they're here.

And - I personally don't think a baby shower helps people attach to a child. I think meeting them and being around them is what builds that bond in people's lives - not sitting around watching you open presents.

I TOTALLY agree with this.

Second showers around here especially for kids close in age are considered greedy unless you have a spacing of 5+ years between your kids.

ldoo · January 2010

No, I'm not throwing a shower for myself. Thanks for assuming, though. My friend is throwing one.

People are going to bring gifts. It's as simple as that. These are my family and best friends who know I'm not greedy, and that I simply want to celebrate our baby. I'm not inviting people I barely know who would take it the wrong way.

I think it's up to each person to decide what they feel they want to do. I'm a second child, and I want my second child to feel like she got everything the first did.

And for the record, if you threw a party to get to know the baby after he/she was born, you better believe people would bring gifts. It's what people do.

HarrietNJMommy · January 2010

ldoo:

I think it's up to each person to decide what they feel they want to do. I'm a second child, and I want my second child to feel like she got everything the first did.

And for the record, if you threw a party to get to know the baby after he/she was born, you better believe people would bring gifts. It's what people do.

Absolutely - it's up to each person to decide. You asked about showers for your second, and we gave you opinions. You don't have to agree with them.

FWIW, I've never had any baby showers (not even for my first, so I'm being fair all around) - I personally don't like them. I feel like people have them and put together a registry (sometimes ridiculous in nature, loaded with pricey and unnecessary items) so that others can help them buy stuff for their child. JMO.

stckgrl79 · January 2010

My mom threw me a 2nd shower for my 2nd DD and stated that she wanted to celebrate her grandchild. On the invitation my mom specifically wrote "I am throwing a baby bath for my newest addition, please come and fill the tub with all the necesities a veteran mom needs" and then she listed diapers (sizes included), wipes and gift certs to places I shop for formula. She invited a smaller amount of people (more intimate) and close to 20 people showed up. It was wonderful and I got sooooooooooooooooo many diapers that I wont have to buy for my DD for at least 4-5 months (no exaggeration). I was against 2nd showers and let my guests no that I had nothing to do with it hehe so they would not feel oligated to come/bring anything but as the baby arrival got closer people were super excited for it! If your friends want to celebrate your baby, say thank you! Enjoy it!

ldoo · January 2010

The comment about if I even knew if someone was throwing me a shower was just plain rude. That I didn't appreciate.

Other than that, I totally appreciate the opinions. Sorry if it sounded otherwise. I just like to hear what other mothers of 2U2 think.

Yeah, mine is a "sprinkle" and there are like five things on my registry - mostly diapers and wipes. That way people don't feel obligated to get clothes, etc. that we already have.

mlf625 · January 2010

ldoo:
The comment about if I even knew if someone was throwing me a shower was just plain rude. That I didn't appreciate.
Other than that, I totally appreciate the opinions. Sorry if it sounded otherwise. I just like to hear what other mothers of 2U2 think.
Yeah, mine is a "sprinkle" and there are like five things on my registry - mostly diapers and wipes. That way people don't feel obligated to get clothes, etc. that we already have.

Why even post asking for opinions if you're going to get your panties in a bunch over it?

I'm not a fan of 2nd child showers unless it's been many years since your last child. My mom had one with my baby brother who came 5 years after my sister and 9 years after me. Otherwise, I just think it's in bad form. I was offered one and politely declined, even though we're having a different sex this time. I still felt it would be really tacky since I just had a baby (and a shower) a year and a half ago.

I highly doubt anyone is going to love DD less or feel less bonded to her because we didn't sit around prior to her birth eating cake and playing goofy games.

scherza · January 2010

Baby showers are not really meant as "celebrations of the baby"; traditionally, they're given in honor of a first-time mother as a "welcome to the club" sort of thing. Friends and family come to "shower" the mother-to-be with gifts, good wishes, and advice.

It may be a regional thing, but around here people would definitely think a shower for a second or subsequent child was tacky unless there were some serious extenuating circumstances.

The bottom line is that a shower is a gift solicitation, no matter how you spin it, and to solicit gifts of the same sort from the same people on multiple occasions seems rather entitled.

bacala1 · January 2010

I am having a sprinkle with closest friends and family. As a matter of fact, it was my friends who insisted I make a registry and have the party. I think it's something fun to do. People might bring gifts but I am also serving food and drinks and FUN. I am giving something in return. It's a great excuse to have a party and build up the excitement of the new baby! I can't wait for mine. Plus, how many times in your life do you get to celebrate something like this,, It is a pretty big deal and lots of fun.

drewsmomma · January 2010

My friends are throwing a sprinkle for me next month. The invitation states (in a poem form) that I don't need the big stuff, that big brother will be sharing. I only invited family and not friends like I did for the shower for my 1st born. I say go for it. If people think it is tacky they don't have to go. I have a large family and I thought about only inviting some, but in the end I didn't want to offend anyone by not inviting them and if they don't like the idea they don' t have t come! Just enjoy that your friend wants to throw one for you!

eaglesfan700 · January 2010

No, I personally think 2nd showers are tacky and declined all offers. People were SO generous at my first shower that I could not fathom having another - it just feels wrong.

I get that it's a regional thing and I really don't care what anyone else does. But I do think it's funny that people act like baby #2 is going to be slighted or not celebrated because they didn't have a shower

bacala1 · January 2010

I think it's so funny that people think it's tacky lmao. What's the big deal. I can understand if you're registering for things you already have but I think it's just a fun thing and an excuse to get together. Didn't realize what a touchy subject this is for some. I wonder why?

bacala1 · January 2010

I want to add, it's funny how harsh people are towards the ones that are having one? Just don't have one if you don't want to. I'm not turning down a party thats for sure. Hmmm...just wondering why they sound so bitter?

hamilton.ja · January 2010

My sisters are really gung ho about throwing me a shower for this one since I didn't have one with number 1. I had an e-shower since I lived out of the country and couldn't come back for one. A lot of people sent gifts and we've only been back here for a year, none of my old friends live in the area anymore and I have no new friends that I would say I am close enough to to invite. So it would be me, my sisters, my mom, some of my mom's friends that I know and maybe one or two of my sisters' friends. It just seems ridiculous to me and I hate the idea and have asked them to not do it. They aren't really paying much attention. There's not much we need despite the fact that we're having a girl and we already have a boy. Just clothes and a few smaller things besides the double stroller - which no one is going to buy for a second shower anyway. So yeah... I told one of them this weekend that maybe a quiet spa day for the family would be nicer.

ldoo · January 2010

Pretty sure I didn't freak out or get my "panties in a bunch." I'm just amazed when adults write rude things because they can get away with it on a chat board where they don't have to actually face the person.

And yes, you've got to wonder why people get so upset about other people having a second shower. If you don't want one, don't have one. If you don't want to attend one, don't. My stepmom doesn't like the idea of second showers (granted, she has a lot of opinions on children considering she's never had one). I invited her. If she wants to attend, great. If not, whatever. Whether it's during a formal party or just during random times, she's still going to spoil my child, as she does with the first.

I absolutely am doing this to celebrate my child, as I did with the first. My husband and I have plenty of money to buy the three things we need. This is a party (with lots of booze, no cake and no games). There's also an aspect to it where I'm doing it to include my first child. I know people want to see her, and I just feel like - even though she's clueless - this helps her be more a part of her sister joining our family.

As for it being regional, I really don't know. Maybe it is. I'm not sure. It's not common where I live, though. It really depends on the family.

mrsrossa15 · January 2010

bacala1:
I want to add, it's funny how harsh people are towards the ones that are having one? Just don't have one if you don't want to. I'm not turning down a party thats for sure. Hmmm...just wondering why they sound so bitter?

HA LOVE IT! Just what i was thinking!!

ldoo · January 2010

mrsrossa15:
bacala1:
I want to add, it's funny how harsh people are towards the ones that are having one? Just don't have one if you don't want to. I'm not turning down a party thats for sure. Hmmm...just wondering why they sound so bitter?

HA LOVE IT! Just what i was thinking!!

Hell yeah. Parties are awesome, although some showers are SO boring. Mine won't be. My friends who can drink will certainly get to! If I wasn't pregnant, I'd be joining them. Instead, I'll eat.

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