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daycare advice needed - while on ML

Barbie&KevinBarbie&Kevin
in Two Under 2

Ok, so right when i thought I had my mind made up, i changed it.  Now i'm wondering if i should change it again.

 It looks like we can technically afford to keep #1 in DC while im in ML, and at first thats what we were going to do so that I could focus on the NB. 

Then i decided that it is my responsibility (no offense to anyone else) to care for my own children if I am home and capable of doing so.  Not only that, but right now I really WANT to have my son (#1) home with me!  An added bonus to me keeping my son home with me is that I will be able to afford a longer maternity leave - whihc means more time with both kids.

 I JUST read that mom should keep #1's routine as routine as possible.  meaning, if #1 goes to daycare now, continue to send them when #2 comes. 

Of course I don't want to confuse #1.....

Please share your thoughts

 p.s. #1 will be 16.5 months old when #2 is born.  and we are not worried about losing #1's spot at daycare by pulling him out.

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Re: daycare advice needed - while on ML

  • abear2abear2

    DS will be staying in daycare while I'm on maternity leave.  The main reason is we'd have to pay either way to keep his slot so we figured he might as well go.  Not only will it give me some bonding time with new baby, but DS loves going and playing with his friends.  He's not an "at home" kind of kid, so I know if I did have him home, I'd have to make plans everyday to get him out of the house, which I think will be hard while adjusting to the new baby and all.

    Plus, I want this transition to be smooth for him so I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible for him, which for him means daycare.  Perhaps you could try sending him a few days and week and keeping him home a few days?  That way, he does not get out of the routine and have to re-adjust when its time to go back?

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  • Raffes484Raffes484
    Could you send #1 to daycare part-time so you can still have some alone time with your new baby but still spend time with both of your kids also?
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  • abear2abear2
    I also wanted to add that at first I felt really guilty at the idea of sending DS to daycare while I'm home spending time with the baby, but then I thought that baby #2 will NEVER have me all to herself and be the center of the universe like baby #1 was for almost two years.  That made me feel better about the decision to send him.
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  • ldooldoo member

    My situation is a little different in that my mom will watch both kids when I'm done with maternity leave.

    I took #1 out of day care at the end of the year so she'd have a few months at home with my mom and no longer be used to day care. Now, when the baby arrives, her routine will already be set at home. So we're just adding #2 to her routine, rather than taking #1 away from her routine.

     If you're wanting #1 home with you and aren't worried about losing the day care spot, I'd say take #1 out of day care ASAP to help him/her adjust.

     Good luck!

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  • SherriberrySherriberry member

    How long is your maternity leave?

    I'm off for a year. I plan to put DS in daycare 2 days per week.  Mainly for my sanity.  He loves going and I think it would be a harder adjustment when he goes back full time if he's completely away for the whole year. I think that's a good balance financially & emotionally.

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  • scherzascherza
    I went back at the start of school when I had DS and since our daycare's attached to our school, it wasn't an option for me to send her to daycare while I was home with him.  But if it had been, I would have done it for at least half days or a couple of days a week so I could rest and recover without having to chase a toddler and care for a newborn.
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  • Cakes2114Cakes2114 member

    DD will be out of daycare starting at 38 weeks pregnant with #2.

    Financially it is not worth it for us to keep her in daycare when I am home.  I will be home for 7 months with both kids and back teaching in September.  I figure DD gets the summers with me so no matter what there is an adjustment when she needs to go back to school - but if it was like this year she will have a smooth transition.

    Also our daycare will only require a deposit in June to hold our two kids spots for September. 

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  • TacoBabyTacoBaby
    My plan is to have DD#1 stay in daycare for two weeks after the birth so I can get my routine down then she'll stay home with me.  I really am looking forward to having her around and to saving some extra money!  Now, if I need a repeat c-section, she'll stay at daycare longer (until I am medically cleared to lift her up).  
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  • bmx4bmx4
    My daycare situation seems a little different. I have to keep DS in daycare when I'm home on ML because I need to keep his spot. I am hoping to only send him 1/2 days when I'm on ML but we will see how the delivery goes/how I recover, etc. I only get 10 weeks off paid, so I have to start planning (once I go "public") with my DH, mom and MIL to see if they can help me cover a couple of more weeks of care for NB at home (meaning they would watch NB for another couple of weeks when I first have to go back to work).
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  • brookles79brookles79
    DS will continue to go to daycare while i am on ML.  for us, it's about keeping DS's routine as normal as possible and the fact that i love his daycare.  i know he has fun there and gets lot of interaction.  DS would have a much better day at school than being cooped up in the house with a newborn and me.
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  • strwbrygirlstrwbrygirl

    #1 is staying home with me. We really needed to save the money and the daycare agreed to save her spot so it was an easy decision for me. Plus, I normally feel like I dont spend as much time with her as I would like so I am happy to be able to spend all day with her during this time. We took her out two weeks after #2 was born and I plan on taking her back to daycare one week before I return to work.

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  • LSUBride3LSUBride3

    DD#1 is still in daycare.  SHe was off for MLK day and sick the next day so i had them both home two days in a row and it was absolutely miserable.  BUT, i know my limitations and patience level and (this sounds terrible but) i knew i could never take care of both all the time and never wanted to.  You sound like you want to-with a better attitude it seems like you'll be fine.  Sooooo, keeping the routine is good, but if you save money, get more time off and can handle it, by all means...

    GL!

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  • Barbie&KevinBarbie&Kevin
    imageSherriberry:

    How long is your maternity leave?

    I'm off for a year. I plan to put DS in daycare 2 days per week.  Mainly for my sanity.  He loves going and I think it would be a harder adjustment when he goes back full time if he's completely away for the whole year. I think that's a good balance financially & emotionally.

     3 months if i send #1 to DC.  longer if I dont.  maybe 5 months max

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