I Don't Know How to Snap Out of It

Dragonfly1226 · January 2010

I feel like I am living in a fog of sadness. I am sad all of he time. I am trying to do things to keep from sitting around. I go to work and have even started light cardio workouts at the gym. DH and I have planned a trip for this weekend. I don't know what to do to get back to being me. I see a therapist and have an appointment with her already scheduled. I think multiple m/c plus IF has finally broken me.

2006july15bride · January 2010

I am so sorry. It is still so fresh...be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time needed to mourn. ((HUGS))

anangelbug · January 2010

Nope, your not broken...maybe temporarily out of service. I'm glad you are seeing the therapist, that can help and maybe even medication to get over the hump. Don't let IF break you..... ::runs off to throat punch IF::

wiscgirl95 · January 2010

((HUGS)) You are not broken, you're grieving and it will just take time, TLC from your DH and hopefully some productive sessions with your therapist. But I truely believe the biggest part in all of it will be time and allowing yourself the time to grieve properly. Don't be too hard on yourself! ((MORE HUGS))

wiscgirl95 · January 2010

I also wanted to say that I think it's great that you are going to the gym, getting away for the weekend and getting out of the house in general. Those are huge steps. At least they would be for me.

*kendrick* · January 2010

I'm so sorry. You've been through a lot and it makes sense that there is huge grief attached. You will get back to feeling like yourself someday. Right now, the grief just has to run its healthy (if you do it right), painful, process. I think it is great that you are acknowledging that you need help outside of yourself. Working out, therapy, and scheduled fun are all really good things to do. You are a strong lady and this valley stinks, but it will make your climb to the top of the mountain be even that much more inspiring.

If you happen to find religion/God comforting, this book is helpful to me. It doesn't sugar coat. The author gets the bitterness, heartbreak, etc. and using scripture and her own story somehow manages to inspire me to rise above those darkest moments.

Babsie7 · January 2010

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It really is not fair that you've had to deal with so much. I'm hoping that counseling is a helpful outlet for all that you are dealing with right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

SNB2B · January 2010

I'm so sorry. The wounds are still so fresh and in time I'm hoping that you will heal. We are here for you anytime.

MoFree · January 2010

Dragonfly1226:
I feel like I am living in a fog of sadness. I am sad all of he time. I am trying to do things to keep from sitting around. I go to work and have even started light cardio workouts at the gym. DH and I have planned a trip for this weekend. I don't know what to do to get back to being me. I see a therapist and have an appointment with her already scheduled. I think multiple m/c plus IF has finally broken me.

Honestly, I would not fight what you are feeling now. You've suffered a loss and it's perfectly okay and expected that you would feel the "fog of sadness." Glad you're seeing a therapist soon.

kekis · January 2010

It's only been a few days since your loss, so you have to be kind and patient with yourself. I think you are taking the right steps, though. Knowing you're in a fog, going to work, working out, planning a trip, and seeing a therapist are HUGE steps that you've already taken in your healing process. I read "Luscious Lemon" a year or two ago, and one thing I got out of it was a thought that I've shared with other ladies that are a part of our terrible club. It goes something like this: You won't ever get over this. It will always, always be a part of you. It will always hurt, but that pain will ease with time. No, you won't get over it but you will get THROUGH it.

We all care about you and will do anything to help. Lots of love, hugs, and prayers.

hopingforbaby#1in2010 · January 2010

Im so sorry hun, please try and enjoy your weekend with your DH. Better times will come for you both, I am sure of it.

ohiostategal · January 2010

I think what you are feeling is very expected this soon after such a loss. You are such a strong amazing woman and it sounds like you are taking great care of yourself during this grieving process. I honestly wish I had taken the steps you have taken when I had my m/c. It is going to take time for you to feel better. I am so sorry for everything you have had to go through. Hopefully you and your DH will be able to escape for a little while this weekend and focus on taking care of yourself. Big hugs to you.

MrsMAF · January 2010

I am so sorry...sorry that you are feeling that way and for your loss. IF is so gut wrenching.... I hope that some time away with DH will take your mind off things at least for a little bit....feel better...and lots of ((hugs))

Jane0103 · January 2010

I know just how you feel. You think you'll get pg easily and you don't. So, you go through the hoops, get the tests, take the drugs, and every month is a hurry up and wait and then HUGE disappointment. Then, you get pg, and are beyond thrilled for a few weeks, only to have it all taken away. We built a house 3 years ago and one of the neighbors was pg. She, along with 4 other neighbors are on or have just had their second child. So, not only am I constantly reminded of what a huge failure my body appears to be, I also have a job that I love, but have been in the process of a MAJOR conversion project and have worked probably 90% of the weekends for the past two years and am working 60 hours a week. I'm exhausted and tired and frustrated. I'm not trying to one up you, I just relate to you and completely understand what you are feeling. I actually called my RE last week and asked for something for depression. We're still playing phone tag due to my busy schedule, but I do feel better for asking already. I think everybody gets down in the dumps. But the great thing about this place is the support you get from everybody and they've been there and relate. Just take things one day at a time!

cookie_queen · January 2010

You are absolutely not broken. You are grieving and everything you are feeling is completely natural. It sounds like you are aware of your feelings and are dealing with them in a completely normal and healthy way.

Take it easy on yourself, you've been through a lot. Throw a mani/pedi or a massage into that mix, or whatever else makes you happy, even if it's just for a moment. Take care of you.

*Willis* · January 2010

You are not broken. I would be worried about you if you didn't feel this way. You're grieving right now and that is appropriate. I remember feeling like a crazy person after my second m/c. Like, I would never be normal again. It was terrifying.

I think some time and therapy will hep you get back to you. And we're here to help if you need us.

Echloe · January 2010

Sweetie please don't expect yourself to feel better so soon. I think it is normal to feel unbearable sadness after what you've been through. I don't think you'll feel like this forever. At some point you will feel like your old self. But you have to let yourself grieve.

MrsP71506 · January 2010

oh hon I am so very sorry. I think it is normal to feel this way after everything you have been through and especially since it is still so recent. Unfortunately it takes time to heal, which is easier said than done.

(((hugs)))

cjdub13 · January 2010

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Sending you many hugs. We are here for you!

theworms · January 2010

first here are some (((HUGS)))

cutie, this just happened, be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. you're not broken, just human and very sad. we're here for you and i'm praying for you and dh.

more (((HUGS)))

kthappy76 · January 2010

I am so sorry. You are grieving but are also doing all the right things. It will take time, but you will be better and stronger. You must give yourself this time, or it will catch up with you later. Take care of yourself dear.

flutterby918 · January 2010

I don't think you can "do" anything, I think it is just going to take time. I hope you have a fun trip this weekend with YH. ((((HUGS))))

SweetDahlia · January 2010

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't know what to say to make it better. It sounds like you are getting out and that's good. Huge hugs.

EMTTessie · January 2010

I'm sorry you feel so sad but take the time to heal and grieve, don't rush it. I'm glad you have someone to talk to who is trained in how to help you make it through this very hard time in your life. And don't forget we are all always here for you. We may not know exactly what to say or the right way to say it, but we are still here to support you and offer plenty of kind words and love. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with you DH! Hang in there and don't let IF beat you...you are so, SO much stronger than it is. *huge huge hugs*

BigHairQueen · January 2010

2006july15bride:
I am so sorry. It is still so fresh...be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time needed to mourn. ((HUGS))

This exactly. (((hugs)))

psychmusetls · January 2010

you are never broken as long as you have love...and we all love you. someday you will obtain your dream. you will be a mother. we are all here for you, your husband is there for you. lean on us until you are strong again.

::hugs::

LisaMarie95 · January 2010

You are not broken, you just feel that way right now. Everything that you are going through is so fresh. Grief is a process and I am glad that you are going to a therapist. I think the important thing right now is for you to work on you feeling better.

MerryMarisa · January 2010

I'm so glad you're seeing a therapist - this will help you so much. I know you feel broken...after what you've been through, it's totally natural to feel like this. I know it's so hard to believe you'll get through this but you will because you're stronger than you think you are. Take good care of yourself. (((( hugs )))

MontyMrs · January 2010

Big ((hugs)) - I wish I had the words to make this easier for you.

grazy · January 2010

I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I think seeing a therapist is a good idea.

ccbanana · January 2010

I wish I had a quick fix for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think the appt will do some good and just remember it's totally fine to be sad. One day soon it will start to get better, but in the mean time, I think it's fine to let yourself ride out the emotions.

((hugs))

catery18 · January 2010

i'm so sorry you have to go through this, its so unfair. you've been through so much and are so brave. I hope you the fog slowly lifts and you can heal...

perry7285 · January 2010

hang in there honey. i think it would be weird if you DIDN'T feel sad right now . . . what you're going through is just awful, and anyone in your position would feel really down. IF hasn't broken you, you're just at a really rough patch and grieving in a normal way!

keep the faith honey . . . this will all work out in the end. (((huge hugs))) please let us know if there's anything we can do to support you.

JackieMac824 · January 2010

I am so sorry - I am going through the same thing - I planned a trip and I am back to work - but still so sad - I think it just takes time - let yourself feel anyway you want to feel. (((HUGS)))

mrslovebug · January 2010

I am so sorry sweetie. I hope it gets easier for you. Nothing we can say will take the pain away right now, but we are all here for you! ((Hugs))

Jlynn3 · January 2010

huge (((hugs))) dragonfly...

Hartmaj · January 2010

I am so sorry. You've been through so much and I think it's perfectly understandable and normal that you feel the way you do. I'm really impressed with how much you have been able to support and help others given what you're going through in your own life. Perhaps you can find some happiness by helping people who are also going through really hard times (not necessarily just in the IF world). Volunteer at a homeless shelter, work at an inner city after school program, sign up to build with Habitat for Humanity. Who knows? Maybe it will help in some small way.

may2806 · January 2010

I am so sorry. It's ok to allow yourself time to grieve. It's great that you are starting to go to the gym and go away with DH. You're not broken, but you need time to heal. ((HUGS))

sheila1108 · January 2010

I am so sorry. I hope the grieving gets easier & you find peace soon. ((HUGS))

albjag · January 2010

Aw hon, you have been through so much sadness- and it's all so recent- you'll need time to mourn, get angry, feel upset, cry..

IF can bring you down in the trenches, but we aren't going to let it leave you there. Take things one day at a time. And remember, after a storm comes the rainbow.

((hugs))

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