Is anyone else bored out of their mind..?

wordtoyourmother · January 2010

Hey all. I mostly lurk on here and rarely post but I feel comfortable enough sharing this with you ladies.

It was always my dream to be a SAHM. I worked hard for 5 years getting myself into the best financial situation so we could survive on one income.

But ever since LO was born- I find myself fighting boredom. I play with my baby and immerse myself in stimulating her but by 5pm - I'm bored to tears. The mommy guilt then immediately kicks in.

I talk to other moms I know and they are just in awe at everything their kid does. My kid is cute and does the same things too but they are not the highlight of my day. Is that bad?

"You're a terrible mother" resonates in my head everyday because I feel like I should be 'enjoying' this journey a bit more...

your thoughts?

MrsPreK · January 2010

Some days I do get bored. I get sick of hearing comments like "How can you get bored?" or "I SAH and I'm never bored!!" Well, good for you I say!! LOL.

I try to mix it up a bit throughout the week and because DS is 19 months we go to play group 1-2 times a week and MOPs every other Friday AM.

Your LO is still very young and not quite into interacting with others.

Have you tried a playgroup or mom's group just for you own sanity? MOPs is nice as it is more geared towards mom's and often focuses on Mom-related topics for each meeting whereas playgroups you can simply openly chat with other moms and make some new friends

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · January 2010

Your lo is so young yet that I would imagine that is common. I can remember on maternity leave really looking forward to going back to work because the days were monotonous. Then ds started becoming a person, not just a baby, and I felt that I was missing out on tons. Since leaving work I haven't really had a bored second yet. He is a very busy guy so between him and trying to keep my house nice, there isn't much time to be bored. Just wait a bit and I'm sure it will get better.

Stacyc625 · January 2010

it will get better- your LO is VERY young.

take this time to imerse yourself in reading or a hobby during the day as well.-- take advantage of the time where you can read a magazine without your LO ripping it from your hands and running underneath the dining room table.

saragus · January 2010

I think you should cut yourself some slack since your baby is so young. Honestly, I spent the first few months in a haze of recovery and sleep deprivation. I remember sitting on the couch a lot feeding DD while I caught up on DVR'd shows. That was really nice! Now every time the tv is on, it's Sesame Street.

For me, it completely changed once DD was no longer a newborn and I could set up some type of schedule. Then at least I had stuff on the calendar (playdates, gym, errands) if I ever got antsy.

And I am also not one of those moms who thinks everything LO does is adorable, so I can relate to that!

ali-1411 · January 2010

I have my moments. Some days I'm on top of my game...the house is clean, DD is happy, we got things to do and places to go. Life if good.

But some days I'm just bored. I don't want to clean. I don't want to play with my kids. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, and on those days I usually get sucked into a book or spend too much time on the computer.

You're not a terrible mother. And you don't have to stimulate the baby every minute of the day...its okay if she just lies there while you read a book or do your nails or something. Babies are pretty boring, anyway. They don't get to be any fun until about 6 months old or so. Give it some time. And if in 6 months you are still miserable, then go back to work. Life doesn't always go as planned. Its okay to admit that being a sahm isn't what you've always dreamed of, and you are happier with a job.

DevonPow · January 2010

On days that we have to stay home all day, YES, I am bored out of my mind. And my DS is almost 3! Sure, he is a lot more interactive and fun, but all he wants to do is play trains All.Day.Long. There are only so many times I can push those trains around the train table, LOL.

I make sure we have a lot of activities - classes, MOMS Club (I am on the board), playgroup, etc. I go to the gym with him several days a week, we go to the library, when it is nice we are at the park all day...

When he was young, we did classes (mommy and me, mom and baby yoga, etc). We had playgroups, and we did a lot of walking around. We woudl walk to Starbucks every day, I would browse the bookstore with him in the Bjorn, etc. I have to get out of the house every day or I go crazy. A few days in the past few weeks we have been stuck inside because of the weather, and I wanted to pull my hair out by 10 AM.

JAM2000 · January 2010

He's so young, it will get better. I was bored too. I kept thinking "is he ever gonna be fun and exciting" well he sure is now. At that age it was eat and sleep- now its go-go-go! Also, its the winter its hard too because its cold out and you can't go out for walks, etc as easily. When the weather warms up and he can sit up in his stroller it will be fun to go for walks, etc.

Hang in there! It'll get better.

PS- now is a good time to read or watch some TV shows you like while your son is napping....pretty soon you won't have time!

pinksweetpea2 · January 2010

JAM2000:
PS- now is a good time to read or watch some TV shows you like while your son is napping....pretty soon you won't have time!

DITTO!

I used to make up reasons to go out- I think we went to the grocery store 4 times a week when Lily was that age. LOL Don't worry. Things will change.

cepcep · January 2010

It is boring sometimes but once your LO gets older it will be MUCH more fun!

mandymack · January 2010

saragus:
I think you should cut yourself some slack since your baby is so young. Honestly, I spent the first few months in a haze of recovery and sleep deprivation. I remember sitting on the couch a lot feeding DD while I caught up on DVR'd shows. That was really nice! Now every time the tv is on, it's Sesame Street.

For me, it completely changed once DD was no longer a newborn and I could set up some type of schedule. Then at least I had stuff on the calendar (playdates, gym, errands) if I ever got antsy.

And I am also not one of those moms who thinks everything LO does is adorable, so I can relate to that!

I agree with you completely (plus all the other posters!) that this newborn stage can be really boring as there's only so much you can do to interact with them. It WILL change and I definitely agree: do things for you while you can because it will quickly become a thing of the past and you'll find yourself without enough hours in the day!

I had lunch with friends, shopped, went to museums I was interested in, got my hair done and my nails done and had lunch with DH a lot those first 3 months before Emily got on an eating/napping schedule around 4 1/2 months.

Hang in there, I promise the boredom will not last (should you continue to want to SAH!) and maybe use this time to search for a local mom's group, they are so worth it should you find the right fit.

P.S. So glad you finally came to this board!!!

KL777 · January 2010

When my DS was that age I left the house and went places alot. This was easy to do at that age because all he did was eat and sleep. Are you going places and getting out of the house at all?

Temp174496125006552 · January 2010

I haven't read the other responses, so forgive me if this was already said, but join a moms group. Or two.

The first few weeks I was home I was going stir crazy and was bored out of my mind. I joined two moms groups (found them on meetup.com) and things are soooo much better now. We have a weekly playgroup and 1 or 2 outings a week. Plus, I've become friends with one of the moms (her son is 6 weeks younger than Ben) and sometimes we get together too. It's good for your sanity and as your DD gets older, the interaction with other kids will be good for her as well. GL!

Kitten80 · January 2010

Don't feel bad! I am an SLP so basically my job was to "play" with kids, and yet there are days by early afternoon I am "played" out and wondering how much longer til DH gets home! That said, I was weird and LOVED the newborn stage. I did, I loved it. My cousin's baby is 5 weeks older than mine and they would ask when the babies were going to "get fun" and I just didn't know what they meant. Until my LO "got fun". It is sooo much better now. Except the fact its cold and icy and we can't get outside to walk. The nice weather helps too so look forward to nice weather when you can just get out in the yard or neighborhood. Anyhow, don't feel bad and do what I am sure the others recommend: try to find mom friends via groups or classes, get out of the house a couple times a week to once a day, and enjoy some mommy time now. GL!

treble_clef · January 2010

The first a year and a half was very difficult for me. I tried the mommy group and play group thing, but my son HATED them. Every time I took him out to those, he would scream and never seemed to enjoy them. It seemed selfish to keep taking him to where he didn't want to go. Besides, I couldn't enjoy the mommy group thing myself because I couldn't find anyone that had something in common other than having a baby. So I mainly did everything only with my son. I was very lonely and super bored, but anytime someone else got close to my son, including his father, he would scream, so in the end no one really wanted to play with him. To make matters worse, my son hardly smiled, so it was very depressing to be with him all day long. I had (still have) a friend with a son who is about the same age as my son, so we met almost everyday and had lunch together and stuff. Without her, I don't know what I would have become.

When he was a year and a half, I went back to work. I found a great job near my house, and everything seemed perfect. Then 2 and a half weeks later, the department closed and I was laid off. So I went right back to staying home. It was awful. But as my son got bigger, he started to become more sociable and happy. So I took him everywhere. The zoo, aquarium, parks, amusement parks, you name it. He still didn't like play dates, and I couldn't stay home alone with him, so we were pretty much out somewhere everyday.

Now he is almost 3, and a very happy kid. He smiles and laughs a lot. He loves trucks and all the boy stuff. Now he just wants to play with me with trucks all day long. Although it's much more fun now to be with him, I just couldn't sanely do it all day. So I went back to school part-time to get a masters degree. It gives me a small break from him while he is taking his classes. It's making me so much happier than before and actually I feel that I love him more.

wordtoyourmother · January 2010

thank you all so much! I sat down and read the responses with DH. He understands me a bit better now. I also don't feel as bad as yesterday.

It seems all the moms I know IRL are these SUPER moms who seem to love everyday and what it brings. Makes me think I'm doing something wrong.

I'm trying to change my perspective on the matter so that I'm not dragging by 5pm. I really appreciate all the responses, they help me remember that I'm not weird for feeling the way I do.

newlywed26 · January 2010

Awww I'm sorry. I'm not a sahm, but obviously would love, love love to be if I'm on this board. Anyway, what I want to say is being a sahm is not for everyone. I know for a fact that it's totally for me, and once baby #s comes, I will fulfill my dream. I know I'd be a good one, because I was an awesome one on maternity leave. I never got bored with anything he did and loved the home body life. I was great at keeping the house clean and with cooking meals etc. Anyway with that being said, it's not for everyone. Working ft is totally not for me. Pt work is. I guess what I'm saying is maybe sah ft is not the job for you. Could you pursue pt? I definitely don't believe that working ft is for everyone, and I also don't believe that sah ft is for everyone either.

Liz342 · January 2010

I bet it's the time of day. I always start feeling bored/anxious for DH to be home around 5. Lately he's been coming home around 6ish but as soon as DD wakes up from her nap around 3 or 4, I feel that bored feeling until DH gets home. I think it's just because I do most errands/cleaning in the morning and relax in the afternoons. Then when DD gets up, it feels like there's nothing to do and I drag until I have to go start dinner and DH comes home!