sex - this is not good

laz1119 · January 2010

I have yet to have sex with my husband. And I am talking since about August. I had to even admit this, but it has yet to happen. Once I hit the 7 month preg. stage my husband really didnt want to go there...so that was that. Well now it has been 3 months since I had my little guy...and still nothing. I have no desire and I am feeling so bad about this. My husband is dying.... this is crazy right?????

T_Roll · January 2010

Not crazy. Some of us just aren't that into it. I am into it, but not as much as I used to be. I'm even afraid to orgasm. You'll get there eventually.

MrsPreK · January 2010

I know you don't feel like doing the deed but I'd try and throw him a bone and do something. Maybe have a glass of wine and some foreplay to get things started?

I know I don't feel like it sometimes too but I suck it up and do it because he has needs too.

Sorry you feel like that. You are not alone. I know a lot of girls posted on here about not having a sex drive.

GL!!!

goteamgo · January 2010

I don't think it is crazy, but it is sad for you both. Sad

While it isn't your fault at all for having no desire, maybe there is something you can do to regain it? I'm talking self-gratification, vibrator, etc. That's what I would focus on- trying to get the desire back. Not feeling bad about it or worrying about your DH.

nicolebuchalla · January 2010

My desire had pretty much dropped off the face of the earth. I've found that if I don't just suck it up and do it then it doesn't get any better. I force myself to do it and I end up enjoying it, which in turn makes me want it more frequently. But everyone is different! Have you tried having sex once just to see if maybe you'd enjoy it?

Nicole731 · January 2010

It's probably crazy but we are in the same boat, almost. We didn't have sex even once when I was pregnant with DS. With DD we did it one whole time the entire pregnancy. We have yet to have sex again.

lizz00344 · January 2010

I'm right there with you. I just have no desire. Between the pregnancy, delivery, baby and some other things that are sharty in our marriage, along with my hormones, I don't really feel attracted to him. Yes I know, sad, probably therapy worthy, but that's the honest truth.

ESD_0707 · January 2010

Not crazy. We went for awhile too without sex. Be sure to use lubricant if you're breast feeding (lining is probably thinning). I didn't and it was painful!

LMS05 · January 2010

Regardless if you don't desire having it, you are still married and I think it's very unfair for your DH.

Sheila.Scully · January 2010

We have only done it twice, but it was hurting me. Found out my hips are rotated and I have a disc out. I also have less desire and it isn't just hormones. All day and much of the night I hold or cuddle my daughter and so when he wants more, I just want personal space. It is going to take more than putting my bones back together. I know that it is hard to meet his needs too when you already have a constant needy little person draining you physically and emotionally. Or should I say "milking". Time spent with him as a husband and wife, away from being mom and dad is necessary. Know that you are not alone in the struggle to be there for your husband and your child. I am new at this and though I want to make him happy, I want me time too. Selfish ain't I.

mhathorne · January 2010

The first time wasn't comfy, so I went out and bought some KY warming gel. Now it's better than before I ever got pregnant. You probably have a lot of reservations, but I do agree that you should go ahead and do it. We recently had a date night where I insisted that we both wear something that we'd most likely wear on a first date and then go do something first date-ish--not a movie for us because we do that enough. We ate out and then shot pool; it felt like we were just starting out because other single people were there and we talked a lot more. That helped as far as me feeling desirable again. Someone on here once said that sex is like exercise; sometimes you just don't feel like it, but once you get going you are so glad you're doing it. I remember some TV counselor once saying that sex is like everything else: you have to work at it. We have to work to maintain EVERYTHING else, but somehow Americans (and perhaps other cultures) have been fooled (probably by Hollywood movies) into thinking that relationships and everything having to do with them just should be . . . and should be fabulous. Anyhow, good luck!

ladyalmalthea · January 2010

You may not be in the mood because your mind is full of baby.

Is he trying to get you in the mood? A little wine, a backrub, etc. can help you relax. And, even if you're not really in the mood, once you get things going, you may feel more into it.

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