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Infertility
cocojack10
member
Veng: BF pg, and all she does is complain!
cocojack10
member
in Infertility
My best friend also suffered from IF. She was successful with her first IVF, and is now 12 wks pg with twins! Dh and I are extatic for them, and it gives us some hope.
However, now every time we talk, all she does is complain to me about how hard being pg is! Everything hurts, she can't walk, etc. She now is advicing me if we do IVF, to only implant 1 embryo b/c twins is too much.
And all I can do is think, dude, you wanted to be pg, now you are complaing about being pg to someone that can't get pg?! Seriously?!
And I just confirmed w/ a coworker that has twins, and 3 singltons that her twin pg was only bad (compared to the others) at the way end. I know everyone is diff though.
-- Jackie
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Veng: BF pg, and all she does is complain!
Please wait until you are pregnant to judge your friend.
Being pregnant, especially with multiples is VERY hard. I never thought I would be this uncomfortable and quite frankly miserable some days and I am only 8 weeks along.
The changes in your body are painful and the fatigue is unbearable.
I'm sure your friend just feels comfortable enough with you to tell you the truth instead of lie and say "things are great".
ugh, you'd think she remembered where she just came from....
Trust me, we remember. But that doesn't make the physical pains of pregnancy go away.
Thanks for shedding some light on the situation. You are right, I shouldn't judge.
It is just painful to hear her complain about her miracle, and I'm still waiting for mine.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
I'm willing to bet that she isn't complaining about her babies. She is probably just complaining about how uncomfortable the whole thing is.
After dealing with IF we all have this perfect imagine about how amazing and miraculous pregnancy is. And, while I still feel so blessed by the miracles I am carrying, I was totally caught off guard at how hard it really is.
It's like we glamorize pregnancy while dealing with IF b/c it is the ultimate prize that we let all of the negatives just disappear - until we are actually faced with them. Does that make sense?
TTC since 2007
6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
I TOTALLY feel ya--- my quote unquote best friend from my previous job keeps bitchin about her pg; as does my friend's wife-- like hello you bopth know we have been trying for 2 freakin years AND just had bto pay 10,000 for something we have no idea will work.-----
REALLY?!? do you think I want to hear you complain...ugh
Since you guys are BF's, she would probably understand if you tell her that you sympathize, you really do, but there are times when it's really hard for you to hear her. Having been on both sides of the fence, I think she'd understand both her own condition and where you are coming from as well.
i second everything lcb said. trust me i will NEVER forget what i went through to get pg. it doesn't mean i feel any less uncomfortable right now.
if all your friend does is complain i don't think there is anything wrong with pointing out the positive things, sometimes people need that. but i can tell you i have been really hurt by my best friend (who is single and no known if issues) basically shutting me down whenever i have anything negative to say about pregnancy. if you can't lean on your friends when things are rough it's hard.
for the first 3 months of my pregnancy on my best days i felt like i had a terrible hangover, it wasn't fun. and i actually was upset at myself for being so miserable because i wanted this so badly. i am guessing your friend is suffering with similar emotions so this may be a good thing for you to talk to her about and something you can both relate to.
I guess it's really hard to imagine what it's like until you get there... I know I certainly can't. It just seems like it would be so fresh in your mind that you would still be understanding when talking to someone you know is going through IF.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!