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Multiples
Did anyone have a hard time dealing with having multiples?
I really hope I don't come across as offensive or ungrateful for my pregnancy because that is not my intention at all. I really am thrilled for this pregnancy. But I am absolutely terrified of so many things. Topping my terrified list are the physical changes and how I'm going to look and feel in not too long. I used to run regularly and go to bootcamp. I've already been told not to do either anymore and I think that has a lot to do with how I'm feeling. After that I'm terrified of not being able to bond with 2 babies at once and how I'm going to deal with going back to work FT while having twin infants. Staying at home isn't an option for me.
I find myself starting to read my books and just getting overwhelmed and not wanting to hear about all the risks and what I should/not be doing so I just put them aside and I haven't done the research I should be. I need to get over this. Quick. Did anyone else go through this early on and how/when did you start to feel less scared?
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Re: Did anyone have a hard time dealing with having multiples?
I was downright mad when I found out we were having triplets.
We went through hell and back to get pregnant and I wanted to be a normal pregnant lady and do normal pregnant lady things. I was so upset that I was being faced with yet another challenge and was so terrified about all of the risks associated with triplets.
I think your feelings are completely normal. I am starting to come around and get a bit excited - but I don't think I will be truly excited until I get much further along and know that my babies actually stand a chance.
I really don't think you're going to find many people on this board who weren't sad/scared/upset/angry/depressed (pick one or all) when they found out they were having multiples. It's like all of your dreams of parenthood fly out the window and you have to adjust your perspective drastically.
Give yourself some time to get used to the idea....and don't beat yourself up about it.
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
MH and I didn't find out until 18 weeks pregnant that it was twins. All I heard was white noise in my head for about a week. Then I started researching and trying to put a plan together. We're having the girls next Monday by c-s and all that research is swimming around in my head and I don't have the slightest clue what I am going to do or how I am going to handle all of it.
I think it is perfectly natural to feel the way you are feeling. It's a lot to take in and learn about and plan for. I'm just going to take it one thing at a time, and eventually it should all fall into place, I hope. Keep posting and reading on here. This board has been the absolute biggest help to me so far. There also might be some multiples organizations and support groups near you that can help you out. Good luck!!
I was and am super excited to be having twins, it was a dream come true for me...that said, I find that when I read any of the books out there about twins, sleep methods, twins etc... I was freaked out at all the things that could go wrong etc....I have put myself on a "baby book ban" and it helps alot!!!! Even the books that I got good info from still put me in a bad mood, scare me and I figure people have been having babies since the beginning of time, and they didn't have to read 10 books to have them!
Trust your doctors and I highly rec. seeing a MFM in addition to OB if you can.....
I will say also, I was totally anti-Dr. Luke until I was referred to a MFM who is a big proponant of Dr. Luke. Reluctlantly, I was put on a high fat/high protein diet and 12 supplements a day - and now I am carrying 2 4lb+ each babies at 31wks!!!! I owe so much to this MFM and her insistance I up my calories , reduce my activity. I haven't gained tons of weight (30lbs) but I know if I was left to my own eating habits I would have had smaller babies and alot less energy. My MoM friends who didn't see a MFM have had much more issues w/their twin pgs ( pre-e, low birth weights etc..)
Lastly, as far as weight gain, etc....it seems to me that w/twins (myself & friends) actually look better & gain less actual body weight ( hips/arms etc..) than friends carrying singletons. My body hasn't changed much at all, even w. 30lbs, because it is all going to these babies! So try not to worry and just remember those numbers going up on the scale are for the health of you babies
Good luck & H & H 9mths!
This exactly
Yes, definitely.
We never expected to have any children but then we got pregnant. We finally came to accept the idea of a baby and then we found out it was twins. That was really hard and it still is. I love my babies but it is just so unexpected.
It has been a rough pregnancy and I have had many breakdowns regarding it. I wanted a natural birth but I cant have it because I need to have an epidural. There's been constant puking, weight problems, high BP, pains, and all those great things. I feel like my body is breaking down right in front me and I cant do anything about it.
But, when I found out I was having a boy and a girl 3 weeks ago, it changed everything. I fell in love with them and I began accepting my pregnant self. I am more in tune with reality now than ever. They are a blessing and double the joy.
I think it's normal to take awhile to adjust to the idea--it's a major life change!!
In terms of your exercise, ask your dr. what things you can do to replace what you love (running/boot camp). I always made sure to check with my peri, but I pretty much was able to keep exercise a part of my lifestyle throughout my pg. I too couldn't run or do kickboxing like I loved BUT I did prenatal yoga, stationary bike, walking, swimming, light weight lifting. My duration and freq. became less and less as the time went on but I was thankful to still incorp. something that was imp.to me and that I really enjoyed doing.
As for reading about multiples--it can totally be overwhelming/scary. I remember reading, for ex., about PTL the first time and feel so freaked out!! Try to take in little bits by bits and spare yourself from generic google searches--they WILL scare you and they won't help you! Try to stay focused on the positives!!
You will do GREAT as a MoM!! Take one day at a time.
why cant you run?
I ran 30 miles a week until week 24. Then I stopped voluntarily and opted to swim instead (24 weeks is when most people recommend cutting back activity). Wear a heartrate monitor and listen to your body. If running is uncomfortable physically or mentally, try walking or swimming or a different activity.
The rule of thumb is keep your HR low and dont try any NEW activities. If you werent a runner before, then obvioulsy this wouldnt be the time to start.
Exercise is still important.
My RE told me he didn't want me doing anything that would be bouncing up and down. This included running and a lot of the excercises in bootcamp. He did suggest swimming, yoga and that the bicycle would be okay. I'm going to sign up for yoga - I've actually never done it before.
I was terrified. I still am sometimes. And they are now 7.5 months.
GL, hang in there and know that we are here.
I was very upset about having twins. I already have one child and, frankly, was on the fence about even having a second when I found myself pregnant with twins. I was also hoping to space out my kids more and had totally gotten myself back into shape from my first pregnancy and I was loving working out. I'd discovered a love for cooking and was getting really into that. Then I found myself pregnant with twins, with severe, debilitating morning sickness so I was kind of resigned to my bed/couch for weeks.
For much of my first trimester, I wouldn't even really think about the fact that I was pregnant with twins and what was going to happen to my life but then I started to feel better healthwise about 2 weeks ago and I started reading books on twins and spending more time here and on a local twins board and I feel a little better about it. I see other moms on here, IRL and other boards who make it work and I'm sure I can do it too.
Now, my big fear is for the twins, their healthy, prematurity, etc. I just switched to a peri to help give them the best shot possible on the healthfront.
It's so good to see/read everyone's feedback on this topic. I totally feel the same way - been on an emotional rollarcoaster ever since we found out - and it's great to see the support of so many!
None of us are alone in this feeling & this journey! That's a great feeling!
Ditto. When we first found out we were absolutely ecstatic. I cried and DH just giggled like a little schoolgirl. My first thought before even leaving the ultrasound room was, "We can't fit 2 cribs in that room!" (We had planned on using the smaller of our 2 extra bedrooms for the nursery). Now my biggest concern is their health, not necessarily how we're going to manage once they're here. We're leaving everything in God's hands (although I admit I am a little concerned about holding 2 at once when they're super tiny...)
Ditto. When we first found out we were absolutely ecstatic. I cried and DH just giggled like a little schoolgirl. My first thought before even leaving the ultrasound room was, "We can't fit 2 cribs in that room!" (We had planned on using the smaller of our 2 extra bedrooms for the nursery). Now my biggest concern is their health, not necessarily how we're going to manage once they're here. We're leaving everything in God's hands (although I admit I am a little concerned about holding 2 at once when they're super tiny...)
I felt (and still sometimes) very overwhelmed and scared. I learned I was having twins at 6 weeks - we had been trying to get pregnant for over a year and I was taking Clomid. I know I was taking meds so I should've assumed this could happen, but when you hear there's a 5-10% chance you really don't ever think you'll fall into that percentage, you know?
I keep thinking of logistics - am I going to be able to work full time? (I don't want to but financially I don't know if it's an option for me not to) - but at the same time right now I can't imagine how we're going to figure out how to pay for daycare for 2 babies. I'm terrified when I think about my husband going to work and leaving me alone with 2 babies - how am I going to take care of 2 at once? We don't have alot of family in town either.
Just in the last couple of weeks, I think as I've been able to see the bump and had an ultrasound where they really started looking like real, little babies (sounds silly but true) I've gotten more excited about it.
You will figure things out - that's what I keep telling myself and I'll tell you too
Thanks for bringing this up - feels good to talk about and I feel like my friends wouldn't understand (none have twins).
won't say it's been easy... the first 6months were hard. the first 3 or 4 were just so hard. but you get through it, and you have no choice but to bond with them... it will just happen. and then, you will have these 2 people who you are just in love with... and who are in love with you. that part is overwhelming in a good way. but to be honest i didn't have the energy for even feeling that wonderful overwhelming thing until i was getting more sleep. this is a different kind of bootcamp
re. the body changes. gained 48lbs, and the last 10 is sticking... so now i'll start working on that. hopefully will be able to wear some of my old clothes sometime in the next few months.
if you are able to, maybe you'd like to do some prenatal yoga. it would be good for your body and mind... help with some of the stress.