Hubbie Wants Same Name He Picked with Ex-Wife - Vote

mrs1916 · January 2010

My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage. If she had been a boy, she was to be named after his father.

I am now pregnant, and if we have a boy he would again like to name the baby after his father, who died shortly before we met. I can live with the name, but I don't know how I feel about this. I know the name is special to him because of his father, but it bothers me that he and his ex had planned on this name.

[Poll]

goatwife · January 2010

It's not like the ex-wife picked the name. If he wants to honor his father, that should be a non-issue.

Marce921 · January 2010

If it didn't have any sort of meaning, then I'd be weirded out by it. But, since he wants to name the baby after his dad, I say yes.

mrs_bliss · January 2010

i have a friend who made up a name if their kid had been a girl - a mix of their two names. he used that name with his 2nd wife and she knew where he got it from. thats just crazy!

but i like naming kids to honor grandparents. if mine is a boy it will be named after my fil who died in june.

aj5oh00 · January 2010

Marce921:
If it didn't have any sort of meaning, then I'd be weirded out by it. But, since he wants to name the baby after his dad, I say yes.

This!

EXL311 · January 2010

I said it would be weird but I also see how it's sweet for him to honor his dad in that way. I wouldn't want to use the same exact name he would have used before. I suggest picking either his dad's first or middle name and using that. The important thing I noticed is that you said you could just "live with it". I wouldn't go along with a name that I didn't really like all that much, family meaning or not. I think a compromise, with each of you picking a name, would be ideal in this situation.

FemmeNat01 · January 2010

goatwife:
It's not like the ex-wife picked the name. If he wants to honor his father, that should be a non-issue.

Exactly this. It honours his late father. Enough said.

KateLouise · January 2010

I don't believe in naming children after dead parents because I think it's unfair to the surviving parents.

However, that is not the issue here. I don't think it's strange to use this name because the name has nothingt o do with his ex-wife.

If the name was the name of ex-wife's dead father then yes that would be strange.

Mama_SAS · January 2010

Think of it this way - without the connection to the ex - do you like the name or not?

If it is a name you hate then no, don't go for it. If it is a name you like then go for it.

anna7602 · January 2010

goatwife:
It's not like the ex-wife picked the name. If he wants to honor his father, that should be a non-issue.

I agree with this.

happyhoopla · January 2010

Since it's a name that personal to him, I say go for it. If it had been her favorite name that he eventually grew to love, that would be a different story.

CD+AL · January 2010

Marce921:
If it didn't have any sort of meaning, then I'd be weirded out by it. But, since he wants to name the baby after his dad, I say yes.

This.

ValentineBB · January 2010

I think this has more to do with his father than his ex.

EastCoastBride · January 2010

Yeah, I'm w/ those who have said that this is his FATHERS name. It's not some random name the two of them ran across and decided they liked. That's what I thought this post was going to be about.

He didn't "pick the name" w/ his ex - this is his FATHERS name, who he wants to honor.

If you have no problem w/ that, then go for it. But if this is actually an excuse you're trying to use as a way to get out of naming your child after his father - then deal w/ THAT issue. Dont' make it about his ex. Deal w/ the issue straight on.

BelleBaby · January 2010

He's not picking the name because his ex loved it. He's doing it because of his father. I'd let it go and use it. It's obviously important to him.

Chrissymarie98 · January 2010

Marce921:
If it didn't have any sort of meaning, then I'd be weirded out by it. But, since he wants to name the baby after his dad, I say yes.

this.

laurenrobbie · January 2010

I don't really think this has anything to do with his ex. It's not like a special name they thought of and picked out together, it's the name of his father. I would go for it.

LadyXaverian · January 2010

ValentineBB:
I think this has more to do with his father than his ex.

Exactly. I say it's a non-issue.

pisces4410 · January 2010

If this had been some random name that he and his ex picked out (or she picked out on her own) that would be a different situation, but since it is honoring a family member of his, i dont see it as being a name that necessarily has anything to do with her.

Flowr4246 · January 2010

I agree with PPs. If the name had no meaning, I'd be weirded out too. But the fact that he's naming the child after his deceased father has significant meaning and I'd be fine with that. If you're concerned about making the name your own in some way (to disconnect from the ex), then ask him how he feels about changing up the mn.

MrsP7309 · January 2010

I don't think he picked this name with his ex (unless it was his ex's idea to name their son after his father) he probably told her that he wanted to name a son after his dad and she agreed. If you're ok with naming a kid after your FIL, go for it.

sugarland726 · January 2010

Marce921:
If it didn't have any sort of meaning, then I'd be weirded out by it. But, since he wants to name the baby after his dad, I say yes.

this. The ex-wife isn't actually a factor in him choosing the name. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

mburkhe · January 2010

If it was just a name the two of them liked and wanted to name a son, I would say oh hellz no. But since it is his father's name I would be okay with it.

squeakerabudhbabi · January 2010

mrs_bliss:
i have a friend who made up a name if their kid had been a girl - a mix of their two names. he used that name with his 2nd wife and she knew where he got it from. thats just crazy!

but i like naming kids to honor grandparents. if mine is a boy it will be named after my fil who died in june.

Agreed. If it had been a combo of their two names or something the ex had loved or something else weird like that, I would absolutely say NO. But, it's the grandfather's name; so, I think it's a different situation. So, in the end, I say, yeah go for it!

PhilsWife07 · January 2010

goatwife:
It's not like the ex-wife picked the name. If he wants to honor his father, that should be a non-issue.

Ditto. And it's not like he wants to honor her father. Personally, I think it's sweet and you're being silly.

SanFran80 · January 2010

Marce921:
If it didn't have any sort of meaning, then I'd be weirded out by it. But, since he wants to name the baby after his dad, I say yes.

this

TripMomma · January 2010

I wouldn't do it, but then I don't like the whole giving my kid someone else's name to honor them thing.

amandamharrelson · January 2010

If it was ex's dad's name that would be one thing, but I think it's okay that it's his dad's name.

losmitty · January 2010

I would have voted no had the name been a named they liked together and he just still liked the name. I would be ok with him wanting to name baby after his father, but it's really up to you. Good luck!

mrs1916 · January 2010

Thanks everyone for your input. It is nice to hear some honest feedback. Still a long way to go until baby is here, but I'll stay open to use the name. Of course, the middle name will be MY choice Smile

mrs1916 · April 2010

Thought I would post an update. I had decided to go along with the name, but last week we found out it's a girl, so it isn't an issue! That said, now we are at a total loss for a girl's name! So glad we have a few months to go!

Thanks everyone for your feedback. It helped me come around.

j_luvs_r · April 2010

goatwife:
It's not like the ex-wife picked the name. If he wants to honor his father, that should be a non-issue.

This.

funnibaby · April 2010

goatwife:
It's not like the ex-wife picked the name. If he wants to honor his father, that should be a non-issue.

This

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