Am I being irrational? NIFR

Re: Am I being irrational? NIFR

• BenandDina

  January 2010

  I think that both are legitimate; that he is chafing at the bit and looking to let loose for a little while, and that you are irritated that he is essentially leaving you at home the entire weekend.  However, I would encourage you to stay calm when you talk to him so that you don't come off as being selfish; ask him if he wouldn't mind spending one of the evenings with you (offer to do something fun like snuggling and watching a movie and getting some yummy take-out) and going out with his friends another night.  Play up the fact that you'd like to spend some quality time with him, and that you're looking forward to having a fun night together, not that you need him at home to take care of you.  And then, enjoy laughing together and cuddling on the couch, and another night, when he goes out with his friends, do whatever it is that you might find fun and indulgent while he is out so that when he comes home, you appear completely nonplussed and relaxed and not mopey.

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• albjag member

  January 2010

  Short answer (since you asked, and I dont mean to offend): I think you're being irrational ;-)  

  BUT I guess I can understand how you feel and you are probably stir crazy too.

   I'd let him go out this weekend.  True, you're bored without him, but you said you are pretty self sufficient and that will be one week post op for you.  And since starting next week he'll be at work and you'll be home, you should be fine home alone.

  He probably wants some time to himself, and to see his friends that he never sees, plus it's a Haiti fundraiser.

  If you're like me, after a surgery, after the first few days, you're fine to get up on your own, but you probably are spending most of the day lounging on the couch anyways/sleeping- so why would it matter if your husband went out?  

  Here's what you need to do: get some great movies that he would never watch with you, order some takeout- and have a fun time on your own.  If you're super lonely- invite a friend over.  Or, hang out on this board off and on- we're pretty fun to hang out with too.

  And then you need to set a date night for when you are finally all recovered, so you two can go out and you have that to look forward to. 

  Hope you feel better soon! 

  Surprise BFP after 5 yrs of TTC

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• yodasmistress member

  January 2010

  ditto albjag

   
  
  
  

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• Yellow_Daisy

  January 2010

  yodasmistress:

  ditto albjag

  this

  TTC since 8/2004
  Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
  DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
  DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
  

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• sheila1108

  January 2010

  Thanks ladies!!! I needed a sounding board-great advice- i had a feeling I was being a bit nutty

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• lmc5004

  January 2010

  I wouldnt say you are being irrational but I do think that you should probably let him go. I think that since he has been so good and staying home taking care of you its probably just that he hasnt seen his friends.

  Now, having said this let me say... I would be the same way you are hahaha. I think because women tend to look at the big picture and in your case the week to come we think a lot more into it. Men dont do this, or at least mine doesnt. He lives in the now. 

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