Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
New Discussion

Venty vent vent. Sad & Long

christina-mariechristina-marie
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
No paragraph breaks since I'm bumping on my iPhone. My heart is broken. Very long story short, DH & I took in a family member with 2 children for the past 3 days (on an emergency basis.) They came to my house smelling like they had been working on a pig farm, the one LO had a black eye and I quote "because Mommy got drunk and hit me" and after having to drive for 2 days straight to get to my house they literally only had the clothes on their backs. No socks. Shoes that are only fit for the closest incinerator. Dirty underpants. Matted hair the list goes on and on. They apparently had been living in what can only be described as deplorable conditions for who knows how long. When I gave them baths, one LO had an obvious yeast infection which had to have been raging for an eternity whereupon their parent told me that said LO has given herself her own baths since she was 18 months old, and her only medical care since baby stage has been in the ER.. I took them first thing in the morning to get some clothes at my local consignment store where I buy all of Asher's clothes. I got at least 14 outfits a piece for each child all Abercrombie, Gap, Justice, Seven (you get the point-name brand good stuff) for under $400. Abusive mother calls said relative and screams over the phone, "I DO NOT WANT MY KIDS WEARING SECOND HAND FVCKING CLOTHES!" I swear I wanted to reach through the phone a chokeabiitch. The whole thing has me completely...I don't know what...angry beyond words (at BOTH parents if we're being honest), horrified, more sad than I think I've ever been etc etc. DH & I have discussed for some time the possibility of fostering the kids, but for a number of reasons which are out of our control that isn't going to happen. Anyway, it makes me squeeze my LO even tighter, appreciate my husband even more and terrified of what may become of those kids. I'm crying as I type this, and unfortunately there is no easy answer or solution. I just feel confused, guilty for not being able to take them permanently (again not b/c we've got issues with it-their bio parents are against the idea and unless custody is removed our hands are tied), angrier yet that Children & Youth Services have been involved for a long time yet the neglect/abuse continues despite police involvement, abuse in all forms, failing speech development, failing grades (in elementary school) the list goes on and on. I'm just weak over this. Exhausted, heartbroken, enraged and weak. To be honest, also horrified that the caretaker of these children is a relative. I know you can't choose your family but I don't think I can overstate how terrible this is making the rest of my family feel. Help me decompress all of this nervous energy/anxiety please? The family has gone to stay with another relative for a little while so I'm left reeling and nauseated. Ugh. :cries some more: :-(
Report Reply to Post

Re: Venty vent vent. Sad & Long

  • mavilabridemavilabride member

    What you are feeling is totally justified.  I wouldn't be able to sleep at night either knowing that people in my family were living this way.

    Is the Child and Youth services the same as child protective services? I hate to say this but those children need to be taken away immediately.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this and I have to say you are wonderful for going to the extent that you have.  So many people ignore these situations especially when it comes to family.

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • electricdoctor83electricdoctor83 member

    I am so sorry for those children....I can't even imagine.

    You fight for those kids, it sounds like you are all they have.  Do what you have to, try to find resources to back you up.  The CPS system unfortunately sometimes has their hands tied too, just like you do.

     

     

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • UrbanHippieMamaUrbanHippieMama

    Ugh, my heart is honestly breaking right along with you.  I can't imagine if this was going on in my family.  I'm so sorry.

    I agree with Mavila, these kids need to be taken away.  Is there anyone else you can call to try to make that happen?

    I will be praying for these kids that they get some justice.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • pkate98pkate98
    oh, what a horrible situation for those kids!  You did such a gracious thing to take them in for a while.  Even though you don't feel like you did enough - you did wonders b/c you care!  I'll keep them in my T&P!!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • aniemerganiemerg
    I'm crying too.  Isn't there anyone who could help?  They need to be out of that situation.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • christina-mariechristina-marie
    imageaniemerg:
    I'm crying too.  Isn't there anyone who could help?  They need to be out of that situation.
    Without getting into too much (further) detail, eveybody in my family has made attempts to intervene on many many levels both legally and otherwise. :( The parents are very adept at dodging the system (moving to different states and falling through the cracks as an example, cleaning the kids when they're alerted of a social worker visit etc) and the reality is that it's very hard to have a person's parental rights suspended and/or terminated. Sadly, the system in general caters to the "rights" of the parents instead of the best interest of the children. Just like in any other governmental system politics are deeply embedded in policy and at the end of the day, parents can vote-kids can't. Thanks for the Bumpie vibes ladies, I'm feeling less anxious and I just got off the phone with my other relative who is taking them in for a short period and heard that they're laughing and happy for the time being. At least they're safe for now and that brings DH & I a small amount of peace and gratitude albeit temporary. Double :-(
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"