Has IF made you want to be a SAHM?

kthappy76 · January 2010

I know I can't be alone here, but the farther I get into this process the more I want to stay home (though not forever) with little one when we are so lucky. Another cruel irony of IF is that it can be so expensive this may not be an option for many of us. Does anyone else feel this way? Have you changed your plans?

LCB34 · January 2010

Not at all. It has made me want to keep working even more.

ETA: I realize that sounds harsh. But, I feel like the time I have had to put into dealing with IF has taken away from my career. I am a total career woman and have never had the desire to SAH. So, IF has made me want to rededicate time to my work. Maybe this will change when the trips get here but, that is how I feel right now.

Me&Mr.T · January 2010

It has made it a non-option for me unfortunately.

svp1537 · January 2010

Yes, absolutely. I work from home, but if and when we ever have a baby, I think I will probably stop working so I can spend loads of time with them

If I could get a nanny for a few days a week, I might *consider* working, but probably not.

madelyn07 · January 2010

Not one single bit. I can't imagine staying home all day... Tongue Tied

MontyMrs · January 2010

It's made me want to stay home, but I doubt I'll be able too :-(

Echloe · January 2010

Yes. This is a long road for me, and when I have my baby I'm going to want to cherish every minute. But I will go back to work after a few years.

ohiostategal · January 2010

I think it has. I never considered it before but now I would love to stay home. I don't know if it is the IF or if I would have come to that decision once we got pg anyway. We will have to see if that will work for us.

njohnson1972 · January 2010

I always thought I would like to, but I do too well in my career to not work.

Last week, I was having an off day and stayed home from work. After a few hours, I was so anxious. Daytime tv sucks. I like getting out and around people. That helps my sanity. I am just not a morning person, so I think that is the hardest part for me, wanting to sleep in and not go to work.

But if I am lucky, maybe one day I will be able to just work 4 days a week.

And I am lucky in that my mother is just waiting for me to have a baby to help us during the day while we work.

MrsVicki · January 2010

Even before IF I wanted to stay home!! lol I work from home now, but with IF in the picture, and if we are able to have a child/children I will want to soak up every minute of it! Although I'd love to stay home full time, I really think I'll go nuts. Not to mention, we may need the dual income.

OrangeSmoke · January 2010

Absolutely! I grew up thinking I was going to be super career girl, but IF has truly humbled me. I've thought a LOT about what's really important to me, and I am so grateful for the option to stay home if I choose to.

Jlynn3 · January 2010

MontyMrs:
It's made me want to stay home, but I doubt I'll be able too :-(

This exactly

PinkHope · January 2010

Yes, absolutely! And since I'm at a job I don't like, I kept telling myself I would quit when I was 8 months pg or so, but as time goes on and I don't get pg, I'm realizing that's just not fair because there's no end in sight!

So I told my boss September 1st I'm leaving, baby or no baby! If no baby, I'll get a new job I suppose.

k-mart · January 2010

So far I still want to work - I don't think I could deal with being at home all day. It's just not in my personality. But maybe as my kid(s) get older and more involved with school - I would cut back on working to be there for their activities. But who knows...

OrangeSmoke · January 2010

PinkHope:

Yes, absolutely! And since I'm at a job I don't like, I kept telling myself I would quit when I was 8 months pg or so, but as time goes on and I don't get pg, I'm realizing that's just not fair because there's no end in sight!

So I told my boss September 1st I'm leaving, baby or no baby! If no baby, I'll get a new job I suppose.

Good for you! I stayed at this job for a year too long because I always thought I was going to be pregnant any day now and I wouldn't want to start a new job while pregnant. In retrospect, I should've just gotten out a year ago and now I would be a year in at the new job.

Anasara · January 2010

I'd love to be a SAHM while our phantom children were pre-school age but financially it isn't possible. However, DH's schedule is pretty flexible (he's a college prof) & we have the option of working flex time @ my job so I will probably do that. Between the 2 of us plus my mom who is a real estate agent & also has a flexible schedule we should be able to avoid day care which is horribly expensive!

AlissaCell701 · January 2010

Yes, but IF/IVF hasn't really changed my thoughts on this. I have always wanted to be a SAHM, I basically gave up my career when we moved to FLA for DH's job last year.

I was teaching second grade/special ed and finnishing my masters degree (which I did before we moved) and there just aren't quality teaching jobs down here. The education system is very different then up north and the best schools are usually private schools. I did find a job after being unemployeed for about 6 months, marketing/admin assistant but it isn't my dream job. I am hoping that H and I are able to move back up north in the next two yrs and I would LOVE to get back into teaching then.

greekwife05 · January 2010

I've always wanted be a SAHW or SAHM... though DH tells me it would be dangerous because I would be like Jimmy Stuart's character from Rear Window... yes I'd be spying on all my neighbors...

Ginger71 · January 2010

I will continue to work part time like I do now. (5 hrs per day but I may go down to 4) I have a great pension and a large chunk of my salary goes into my 401k. MH and I want to retire at 55 and I will need to continue to do that to stay on target. I thought about staying home but I love my job and I don't know if it would be waiting for me when I would be ready to return.

FWIW, I don't think badly of people that want to or have to work. Everyone is different and they know what works for them!

LnR70707 · January 2010

I've always wanted to be able to be a SAHM for at least the first year, but I think I will come back to work part-time after 6 months or so.

katieranck2202 · January 2010

LCB34:

Not at all. It has made me want to keep working even more.

ETA: I realize that sounds harsh. But, I feel like the time I have had to put into dealing with IF has taken away from my career. I am a total career woman and have never had the desire to SAH. So, IF has made me want to rededicate time to my work. Maybe this will change when the trips get here but, that is how I feel right now.

I am with LCB. I am going to continue to work even when we have kids and my DH will be the one staying at home. I always knew I would be a working mom (I grew up with one) and so it was never thought for me to stay home.

JM1977 · January 2010

No, I've never had an interest in being a SAHM. I just don't think it would suit me very well. I love my job and like being on a schedule.

I think after going through IF, I may cherish my kids even more than I would have, but I don't think I'll have a desire to stay home.

hopefulmommy · January 2010

I can't wait to be a sahm! I think my age is a factor though. If u were 25 I may want to continue my careers for awhile but I'm 33 and have enjoyed 10 solid years as a elementary school teacher. Also, I'm not the kind of mom who would stay in the house all day. I'm the type that will always be on the go doing stuff. Teaching my kids through experiences. IF has only driven my desire to sah even more.

Sunshine05 · January 2010

I have always wanted to be a SAHM at least until my kids were preschool aged, then I wanted a job where I could see them off to school, go to work, and be home in time to be there when they got home. Idealistic much? I doubt I will be able to stay home at all with them for financial reasons. Now I'd love to have at least the first year at home, but I doubt I'll even get 8-12 weeks at home!

bmagsgirl · January 2010

I have always wanted to stay home and raise a family. I wanted it before IF and I still want it. Luckily I have had insurance to cover a lot of the bills. I have never been a career oriented person and my hubby and I are going to do everything to make it possible for me to stay home and take care of the kids.

alicb · January 2010

I have always wanted to be a SAHM, this was the plan before IF and is still the plan now.

kekis · January 2010

I would love to be a SAHM (have always wanted to), but with both of us being teachers, it won't be happening. Sad

LobsterGirl · January 2010

It was always the plan that I would be a SAHM until our child(ren) go to school. After that, I fully intend on going back to work.

Chrissy1019 · January 2010

I have always wanted to stay at home with my kids... my mom was a working mom and I was usually on my own and I hated that... Hopefully I will be able to work part-time from home (I work with my family so it's totally possible) and I can spend as much time with our little one(s) as possible Smile

ccbanana · January 2010

No. I'm not sure I am clear on how the two are related?

nikinikinine · January 2010

Before DH and I ever started trying to have kids we made sure we had no debt, aside from student loans, cars and mortgage. Because it's taken us so long to get pregnant, we managed to pay off the loans and our cars and we're almost 20% vested in our mortgage now.

It was important to me to do all of these things because I want to be a SAHM, but I don't want DH to be stuck bearing the burden of our family.

I cannot wait to kiss my career good-bye.

mbjmaybebaby · January 2010

I've never wanted to be a SAHM, don't know why but I never have. Not that that's really an option since DH and I are both teachers but....

smeyer · January 2010

It hasn't changed things much for us. The plan was always for me to stay home. It won't be easy, but we'll find a way to make it work.

kthappy76 · January 2010

So I didn't want to skew the responses and get people flaming (not that you ladies ever hold back), but I've always worked and I've also always wanted to have kids. DH and I have been building our careers over the last ten years so that we could we provide the life we want for our family. As with everyone here, I never thought it would be this hard to conceive a baby. I joke that IF is a FT job, which many of you I'm sure would agree with. It makes me wonder whether I want to (and honestly could) do it all at once. Something that I guess I had always taken for granted. So in my journey, I've begun to wonder whether for me it would be better to work and have the added financial security of that or to not work a FT job and focus on the kids that we are working so very hard to have.

IMHO, if you are really "staying at home" all the time and don't have any adult interaction or mental stimulation, you might not be doing it right. That doesn't sound like any fun at all.

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