Any Catholics discussed IVF with a priest?

cocojack10 · January 2010

Dh and I know the Church is against IVF, but in making our decision to move onto IVF, DH would like to talk to a priest about the topic to better understand their point of view.

If you have discussed the topic with a Catholic priest, did the discussion shift you away from IVF? If not, why?

Our clock is ticking, and we need to make a decision within the week and don't know if we'll have time to discuss with the priest prior .

Thanks!

nikinikinine · January 2010

I don't think it's up to my religion to decide whether or not I should be a mother. I'm Catholic, was married in a church, plan to baptize my IVF baby, etc.

Having faith means being able to look at my situation and believe in my heart that this too shall pass.

I don't believe in a God that tells me somehow I am less Christian or faithful because I have an aching desire in my heart to be a mother.

GL with your meeting. I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

cocojack10 · January 2010

nikinikinine:
I don't think it's up to my religion to decide whether or not I should be a mother. I'm Catholic, was married in a church, plan to baptize my IVF baby, etc.
Having faith means being able to look at my situation and believe in my heart that this too shall pass.

I'm 100% with you. I'm ready to move forward. Dh is having some difficulty with the decision, and just wants some additional guidence. I'm just curious to see the outcome of others having the same meeting.

What we both are having a hang up with is, hypothetically, what to do with the frozen embryos if we end up having the family size we want (ie, have 3 children, and 2 frozen embryos). But what I told Dh is that we can only make ONE decision at a time. Right now, we have to decide if we want to have a biological child, and if so, IVF is our route. If and when the time to decide what to do with extra frozen embryos comes, then we decide then. We can't break our minds thinking about the future, especially about somehting we dont' know will ever happen!

Thanks for your input!

GenRN45 · January 2010

keep in mind that you may get different answers depending on what priest you talk to.

Some are very open minded and embrace science as being from god. Some are not.

nikinikinine · January 2010

cocojack10:
What we both are having a hang up with is, hypothetically, what to do with the frozen embryos if we end up having the family size we want (ie, have 3 children, and 2 frozen embryos).

Focus on what's in front of you only. I believe that God only gives you what you can handle. Some people would mock me for that view, but that's how I get through life/my situation.

We worried about this too. Eventually through a lot of hard introspection, I told my H that I would want to donate any leftover embryos to science. It's almost anti-Catholic, I know. But without others before us doing donations, we wouldn't be able to have a baby.

We're not comfortable donating our babies to another couple and I can't imagine destroying them.

Again, one situation at a time. We spent WEEKS mulling that over and guess what? I don't have a single frozen embryo to worry about. We are currently pregnant from IVF #1 and, unless this pregnancy fails, we plan to try again naturally for our future children before coming back to IVF again.

All that worry, and it's not even a decision I had to face. Go figure.

cocojack10 · January 2010

nikinikinine:
Again, one situation at a time. We spent WEEKS mulling that over and guess what? I don't have a single frozen embryo to worry about. We are currently pregnant from IVF #1 and, unless this pregnancy fails, we plan to try again naturally for our future children before coming back to IVF again.
All that worry, and it's not even a decision I had to face. Go figure.

First of all, CONGRATS on the pregnancy.

My best friend was successful with her first IVF as well, and is pg with twins, and only has 1 frozen embryo to worry about... something she can totally handle, and would be our ideal situation as well.

I think slowly DH has come to terms with the decision, he's just afraid like I am... we are afraid to take the leap b/c if we are unsuccessful again, this is our last resort. Where do we go from here? We truely want a biological child, if at all possible.

theworms · January 2010

I would post on SaIF since there are a Catholic ladies who may be able to respond.

I know a few ladies only fertilized what they were willing to use.

GL

kthappy76 · January 2010

I'm not a practicing Catholic, but based on my studies the Church's official stance is that fertilization should happen in the woman, which is why IUI is "acceptable" to them and IVF is not. Ideally it'll also happen through sex, but I think they have gotten a little more flexible on that. Judging by the number of Catholics who not only use BC but also use IVF, I think many decide that ultimately they are responsible for their own reproduction and families and they make peace with that. The embryo question is a tough one for many and probably one to discuss before and not after it's an issue just to make sure that you and DH are not on completely opposite sides. You don't want to be fighting over what to do with them later. Good luck!

Want a personalized experience?

Any Catholics discussed IVF with a priest?

Re: Any Catholics discussed IVF with a priest?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards