...carissasmom... and other moms with toddlers then, twins.

Re: ...carissasmom... and other moms with toddlers then, twins.

• carissasmom

  January 2010

  I actually didn't do anything to prepare her.  I'm more a go w/ the flow type of person.  She knew I was pregnant but really had no idea her world was going to turn upside down (atleast in my mind).  She turned 2, 12 days before the twins were born so basically the same age your daugther will be.  She really hasn't any problems w/ the babies.  At first she didn't want to have anything to do w/ them.  She might give them the occasional kiss but that was it.  She didn't want to hold them anything.  Now she's getting to the point where she likes to help and will try to "pick" them up on her own.  Not something I encourage by any means!!  She loves the babies and if anyone is spending too much time w/ them she always reminds them that they are her baby sisters.  I have a feeling that as they get more mobile we might have some issues, but so far its been WAY easier than I ever dreamed it would be. 

  One piece of advice someone gave me that I still try to use is that if your older DD and a baby(ies) both need your attention tend to your older daughter first.  She will remember and the baby isn't going to remember if it had to cry for an extra min or two while you got your DD settled.  I think this helped ward off any jealousy issues on her part.  I remember being so mad one day when my MIL came out to see the girls.  Carissa had anxiously been awaiting her arrival and had some books out she wanted to read w/ her.  The babies were content in their bouncy seats.  MIL walks in the door.  Nana I want to read w/ you.  Ok, just a second let me see your baby sisters first.  I could have smacked her.  She proceeded to sit down in front of the babies and spent a good 15 mins talking to them (they were seriously less than 2 months old, they could have cared less).  I went and sat w/ Carissa and read to her.  She's the only person of all the visitors we had that did that to my daughter. 

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• ougrad1 member

  January 2010

  That's awesome advice that I will definately remember-thank you!

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• carissasmom

  January 2010

  Some people may disagree, but in some regards I think having twins after a singleton is easier than having twins as your first.  Yes, you have the extra rambunctious toddler to take care of, but you've been there, done that before so you're more laid back w/ the babies since they aren't your first.  If that makes sense at all.

  Report0 Reply
• laceymb

  January 2010

  I completely agree with carissasmom. My dd turned 2 just 2 weeks after the twins were born. My family was great with making her feel like a special big sister. Whenever people brought over gifts for the baby they usually brought Ella something too even if it was something simple like stickers. They always said hello to her first because the babies wouldn't know the difference but Ella would. For the most part Ella has been wonderful with them and she loves to be involved when she can by getting diapers or helping hold a bottle, etc. The more involved she is the better because then she doesn't feel jealous or left out. But I also never force her to be involved and we make sure to spend special time with just her everyday.

  Its hectic but you will find a routine and it is soo worth it. The twins worship Ella and they are so cute together. The only trouble we had was a regression with potty training which is normal and was easy to deal with. I'm also a more go with the flow type person which helped me cope and having had a baby before also set my mind at ease when I brought home 2 more. 
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• Rinnie

  January 2010

  My DD was 20 months old when our twins were born.

  I talked to her every day and tried to explain to her about the babies in mommy's belly.  How much she got and how much she understood I am not sure since she was still so young herself.

  She had several baby dolls around so I used them and told her that these are her babies and such.

  DH brought her to the hospital after the boys were born, I was breast feeding the boys and she came in and saw me and with help climbed up into the bed and looked at me and said, "My babies!" and kissed each one of their heads.

  We never had jealously issues with her. meaning not hitting of her brothers or trying to hurt them or such.

  I tried my best to meet her demands as best I could once the babies came home.  Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.

  I EBF the boys and I made sure before I sat down to feed the boys, I always had things at my hand to give to her.  Snack, drink, nuk.  I also would do flash cards with her or sometimes just turn the TV on.

  I always tried to spend part of their nap with her.

  GL!

  Report0 Reply