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3rd Trimester
amykins1283
member
Name Frustration Vent (a little long)
amykins1283
member
Okay, let's start off by saying that my DH is a IV which means that we have the possibility of having our son be a V which would be kind of cool. I have one issue with this, though. My DH's name is very old fashioned and these days is actually considered to be a more feminine name than a masculine one. In case you are curious his name is Dana Duvalt J. IV and everyone calls him Dan.
His name is a fine name and I really don't have a problem with it (except for the fact that waiters constantly try to hand his credit card back to me thinking that I am Dana) but it's just so old fashioned sounding. We are coming up with back up names because even DH is on the fence about whether he wants LO to be a V or not. His mom and dad told us that they would be fine with us not naming our son after him. The problem is that, when DH was born, they had a different name picked out and he just came out looking so much like his dad that they went ahead with the family name. The male genes are strong in his family, DH looks just like his dad who looks just like his dad, etc. so we could be in the same boat. DH is also reserving the right to go with the family name at the last minute after LO pops out so we can't even let ourselves get too attached to any other names just in case. We almost have our "back up" name picked out but I won't be able to call our baby anything until DH gives the final say in the delivery room which kind of bugs me.
Anyway...that's pretty much it. I would appreciate opinions on what you think about going with the family name versus a "new" name. I'm just undecided and I can't figure out whether or not my feelings about the name thing are even a big deal or not.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Name Frustration Vent (a little long)
My husband is a third (III). We decided not to pass on the family name (if it's a boy). I'm not a huge fan of the name anyway, and it's already confusing having three family members with the same name. There's only so many nicknames you can come up with. We ultimately decided: new baby, new name.
Of course, our boy name is Jackson. So ... according to the pp, not very original.
Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
Gosh, this is a tough one. I'd normally not be a huge fan of the name Dana for a guy, but can see how it is cool that it has been in the family for so long. I also think the middle name goes very well with it and make it sound cooler. One problem I could see...what would your LO's nickname be? Maybe you could call him by the middle name. I like that a lot!
Guess I'm not much help. Good Luck!
I'd suggest just going forward with what you've already got planned. Have an "other" name picked out but plan to name your LO based on how you feel after actually seeing him after birth. It's not a cycle worth repeating if you don't know for sure, but you don't want to regret not using it just because you've attached yourself to another name.
It's what our plan is to - waiting until after birth for an official name. My DH is afraid of getting attached to a name before hand only to decide it's not right after birth. We know too many people who have either changed the baby's name on the way to the hospital, during labor or right after meeting him/her. We're planning on going with a top 3 list of names and choosing from there.
This way, when we know for sure, after birth, we can officially introduce our LO to grandparents as his name - which they won't know ahead of time.
We have a line of male "Holly Hope Lastname" in our family. So, I get the old-fashioned and feminine thing. At least you can call your son Danny. There isn't a whole lot of playing room with Holly. LOL.
I say go ahead and pick a 2nd name you like, ?and wait til you meet him to decide.
It's nice to know that there are others with the same name! Maybe it's a regional thing or something because around here I haven't met any guys with the name Dana. You have a good point about the uniqueness.
I think that family names can be special but they can also be worn out. I have placed no sentimental value on names so for me I would just pick a new name.
What would bother me is that your DH is reserving the right to use his name and is essentially taking you out of the process of naming your child. This is your child as well and just because it is "his" name doesn't mean he should have the exclusive right in naming the baby. This should be a decision made by both of you not just your DH.
When babies look like family members it is easy to see them with that name as you already have the image in your head. Everyone is my family looked just like my grandma when we were born and I assure you there isn't a single Mildred amongst us.
Good point. Maybe my wording was a little strong about "reserving the right". He's more saying that he still wants to have the option open to us in case he starts to waiver. So he doesn't want to have anything officially picked out beforehand.
It sounds like you are okay with the family name - is your vent/frustration just due to the fact that you don't want to wait until the baby is here to decide? You want to choose a name right now so you can start using it? I'm just trying to figure out the vent part b/c, like I said, it sounds like you don't have a problem with the name itself.
I think a lot of people wait until the baby is here to decide - that's what DH and I did w/DS and it looks like we'll be waiting for DD to decide also. But we're pretty indecisive
Could you come up with/use a general nickname to refer to the baby until he's here?
ETA: Duh, I am missing the part where you feel it might be too old-fashioned or feminine. There are still male Danas out there although I personally do associate it as a girl's name. But I don't think it's a weird thing to name a boy.
GL!
Just lurking... Don't settle for a name you don't love. You will be calling your LO this for it's entire life.
Your DH should be more considerate of how you feel as well. If he wants to change it at the last minute he needs to understand that it should be a mutual decision... because it is not just his decision to make. You both brought the baby into this world, so you have just as much right to name it as he does.
My DH is the III and I hate his name so I sort of get what you are going through. But his family has pretty much decided that if it is a boy there will be a IV... without even consulting me. I finally spoke up to DH and said NO! It is just as much my baby as it is his, and I do not like the name so we will pick one that we both like.
I think it would be great to carry on the family name! And you can use whatever nickname you like!
We are likely doing something similiar.
Good luck.