BM was given clothes for SD

taagent · January 2010

Apparently SD was given 4 pairs of pj's, 4 pairs of pants, and 2 or 3 sweatshirt/jackets. All of which came from a friend of BM's who told them they were "hand me downs"...BUT I seriously doubt that! The clothes have absolutely NO signs of wear on them. They are big on SD, including the winter jacket. Supposedly they were the friend's daughters however a teenager could still wear all of these clothes - including a rather expensive puffy jacket.

DH and I didn't say anything to SD about our suspicions. The thing is that crazy girl could actually wear all of these clothes but they have instead been given to SD. Granted she needed them since all of her clothes are too small at BM's. I just don't get how BM wouldn't be embarrassed.

We get hand me downs from my SIL because the girls are just 6 months apart but we have also bought 95% of the clothes in her closet. I just hate that it seems that SD has become something of a charity case where BM is concerned.

Phantomgirl · January 2010

Not sure I understand, are you saying the friend went out and bought them because she felt SD needed new cloths?

taagent · January 2010

Yes, that is exactly what DH and I suspect happened.

Littlejen22 · January 2010

taagent:
Yes, that is exactly what DH and I suspect happened.

That sucks if that is true. That said, it is possible that they are clothing that the teen decided she did not like and the Mom is smart enough to get them out of her house instead of letting them sit in the back of the closet - man, my SD used to do that all the time where she would just decide that a brand was not good enough for her even if it was expensive.

DREWLILY · January 2010

I'm not sure I get the issue. Who cares if someone went out and bought SD clothes? Maybe she did need them and at least now she has them. Not trying to sound snarky, but isn't it a good thing if someone got her something she needed? My friend buys my SD clothes sometimes, and I do the same with her SS, it's just a gift.

taagent · January 2010

It isn't so much of an issue - just that we find it sad that in order for SD to get clothes that fit her at BM's someone else has to buy them for her. The cost of the clothes seems to be well over $100 - just from the pants, jacket and sweatshirt that we have seen, and that is only 1/4 of what she was given.

SWEETnLOVE · January 2010

I don't get it either. Maybe they are being nice to her and want her to dress cute. I also don't understand why she can't wear the clothes that you guys buy her to her BMs house.

taagent · January 2010

SWEETnLOVE:
I don't get it either. Maybe they are being nice to her and want her to dress cute. I also don't understand why she can't wear the clothes that you guys buy her to her BMs house.

Because we will never see them again. This has been an issue for years. We buy her clothes and she wears them to BM's and then we have to buy more clothes because we run out. We have spent hundreds of dollars on clothes as a result and at one point (when SD was younger) basically furnished her clothes for BOTH houses. We aren't the only ones that on this board that do this. It gets expensive quick!

I just find it sad that for SD to get new clothes someone other than BM has to purchase them.

sweetie0228 · January 2010

I get it. It's a blatant slap int he face that BM doesn't dress the child appropriately and EVERYONE has noticed and started doing something about it. AND BM is probably playing the woe is me I'm a single mom and my ex is a deadbeat and doesn't give us enough to....whine whine whine...manipulate, manipulate, manipulate. All the while that is not true.

But while it shouldn't make you look bad and embarassed b/c it's obviously BM's own fault and poor/lack of planning that SD isn't dressed well. But b/c of assumed (and 90% sure rightly so assumed) manipulation from BM she makes it seem like you and DH are the neglectful parents and she's just barely holding on and just making it by...

taagent · January 2010

I am not sure if you are aware of it sweetie, my SD LIVES with US. She is with us Sunday - Friday every week and visits BM on weekends. Even before this arrangement it was 50/50 one week on and one week off. With the old arrangement neither paid cs since we covered her insurance and they make about the same so each paid for her when they were at their house. Now, with SD living with us full time pretty much we get nothing from BM and we don't ask (although $20 every two weeks would be nice). We provide for SD for everything and yes, it is embarrassing for us because we do provide for her, but when she is with BM you wouldn't know that. Who knows what BM has told people about why SD dresses the way she does when she is with her.

sweetie0228 · January 2010

Ugh That's even worse I thought you were still 50/50. She's a loser. I'm the BM here but really let's not get into bm v. sm. A mom's a mom the she's a loser and this should reflect on her but same was a dad's a dad only when they fulfill the action verb of mom or dad. The person who cares day in and day out, stays up holding your hair back when your throwing up, the one that paces the floor when your late for curfew.

She is a glorified weekend babysitter just waiting for the real parents to come back to pick her up. She's a loser.

Your real saving grace at this point is no one at school or in her real life see her like this.

Want a personalized experience?

BM was given clothes for SD

Re: BM was given clothes for SD

Choose Another Board

Search Boards