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What does 'not trying, not preventing' mean for you?

FutureMrsCaesarFutureMrsCaesar member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I've been giving some thought to that phrase when I see it on here, and maybe its because I'm so Type A but I don't really understand how it works.  Like for me, if we're 'trying' we make sure to have sex around when I think I'd be O'ing.  If we're 'trying hard' I'd be temping and using OPKs, etc.  And if we aren't trying we use pull and pray around O-time (real scientific, I know!).  We are okay with pregnancy if it were to happen now, but if we have our way we'll wait until summer, or later to really 'try'.  I just feel like if we decided to 'not try, but not prevent' I'd still have an idea about when I O and probably make sure to have sex around then...but like I said, I'm Type A and I plan EVERYTHING! lol
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Re: What does 'not trying, not preventing' mean for you?

  • KeepingItLowKeyKeepingItLowKey
    For us, it was not being on any type of BC... but not charting, timing anything, just regular sex when we felt like and we'd see what happened.

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  • JARbabyJARbaby member

    I guess just not on BC but not timing it or anything. Just getting busy whenever.

    I am type A too so you can imagine my shock with a 10m old at home and a surprise BFP, lol. 

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  • EchowyspEchowysp member

    Yeah, you're over-thinking it. LOL It just means you don't pull out, but you aren't paying attention to your ovulation.  If you get pregnant, super.  If not, no biggie. 

    Ds was conceived our first month of marriage with that method.

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  • HisWifeHerMomHisWifeHerMom
    This was how we became pregnant with DS. We weren't using any type of birth control but we weren't stressing about TTC. If we felt like being intimate, we did. If we got pregnant soon, great. If we didn't get pregnant soon, fine too. We knew we wanted another baby but we weren't "scheduling" it. We were pregnant with DS after about 6 months. I didn't worry about my ovulating days or anything. No pressure.
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  • BabyBurnsBabyBurns member
    I'm the same way! I decided to stay off BCP, but I really don't want to get PG until at least this summer. So, no OPK's, charting, or Preseed until then :)




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  • bnljane1988bnljane1988

    imageKeepingItLowKey:
    For us, it was not being on any type of BC... but not charting, timing anything, just regular sex when we felt like and we'd see what happened.

    This.

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  • JessMil10JessMil10
    To me it means that someone is having unprotected sex but not charting or temping.  For Brooke and for this baby I never charted, temped, and guessed my ovulation. I guess "pull and pray" can maybe fall into that category as well, but if you pulled the goalie, you can't be surprised! lol
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  • LoriFalceLoriFalce member

    To me, "trying" implies effort.

    "Not preventing" means you know it could happen and you're not going to pretend to be shocked if you get a BFP.

     

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  • LyndsayQLyndsayQ

    imageKeepingItLowKey:
    For us, it was not being on any type of BC... but not charting, timing anything, just regular sex when we felt like and we'd see what happened.

    This.  I knew when I O'ed, but it didn't matter to me if we had sex around that time or not.  

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    For me that would mean not charting but not using any form of BC.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • ShanJosh777ShanJosh777 member

    imageKeepingItLowKey:
    For us, it was not being on any type of BC... but not charting, timing anything, just regular sex when we felt like and we'd see what happened.

    Same here.  I know some people think it's dumb, and if you aren't on BC then you are technically trying to get pregnant.  I never considered us to be actively "trying" though.  Like I wanted to get pregnant, but there was no big rush.  If I wouldn't have been pregnant within a few months, I guess I would have started charting and then to me that would have been "trying."

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  • Erika6504Erika6504
    When I got pg this time, I would classify us as "not trying but not preventing."  I went off of BC and we had sex when we felt like it.  I didn't temp, didn't use OPKs, and didn't really track anything.  I knew in my head around when I would O, but I didn't make any effort to have sex during that time.  If it happened, it happened.
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  • JimsBride08JimsBride08
    To me it means having unprotected sex, no withdrawal.  But not purposely having sex because you might be O'ing or anything like that. 
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  • FutureMrsCaesarFutureMrsCaesar member
    Ok, that all makes sense.  I'm just anal and I'm either in 'preventing' mode or 'trying' mode.  I'd really love to be as laid back about it as some of you ladies are!!
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  • klink11klink11 member

    For me it was no BC of any type (pill, condoms, pull and pray, etc.). That being said I also wasn't wasn't "trying" (temping, charting, keeping track of when I would ovulate).

    It was what is what, I didn't stress and had no expectations. For us it worked and after one month of "not trying, not preventing" I was officially knocked up.

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  • TMs1stBabyTMs1stBaby
    For me that would mean that if I am not already pregnant I probably will be by the end of the month.
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  • JessiRayeJessiRaye member
    We are not trying...As in with our first 2, we were trying 'hard' by having sex often and charting etc. Right now we are not preventing because we are not using BC, but I am charting to avoid at the moment. IF we got pregnant, it wouldn't be a bad because we want a third.....But we are just waiting until the summer to actually TTC. So that's what it means for us:)
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  • star173star173 member
    I know what you're saying because I have a similar personality. We tried with K, and it took us 9 months. We decided to just not use BC and have sex whenever we wanted. Of course, I had an idea of when I'd O because my cycles were pretty regular, but I never intentionally had sex at the right time- 9 months later, I got my bfp. So, I learned that it didn't matter how hard I "tried", it would happen when it was meant to. HTH
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  • Buckets of MoonbeamsBuckets of Moonbeams
    For us, that would be actively trying.  We're really fertile.
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  • Chloe77Chloe77
    To me it means TTC!  If you aren't preventing, you are trying...
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  • LoriFalceLoriFalce member

    imageChloe77:
    To me it means TTC!  If you aren't preventing, you are trying...

    Not really. I buy raffle tickets from a "friend" that sells them ALL.THE.TIME. I'm not trying to win. I don't care about handmade afghans someone's grandma crocheted for a year, or a year's supply of home heating oil. Really. I have electric heat. I am just trying to make her go away.

    Just because I'm not preventing (i.e., saying "Listen, biitch! I don't want your skanky raffle tickets! Beat it!") doesn't mean I'm trying (i.e., picking lucky numbers, crimping corners to make my ticket stand out, breaking into the big drum-o-luck to steal other peoples' entries). I'm just having some fun and dealing with the ups ($1,000!) or downs (what the heII do I do with all this oil?) as they come.

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