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2nd Trimester
Shandie_725
member
Feeling guilty **sorta vent**
Shandie_725
member
DH and I were talking last night about having DC #2 and when we would want to start TTC. He asked if I was sure I'd want to be pregnant again since I had a rough start and I'm not a person who loves being pregnant. His mom was in the kitchen while we were talking and began saying how pregnancy is such a blessed event and that I should cherish it. She also continued on how about how much she enjoyed all of her pregnancies and that with how much of a "downer" I've been, she won't be surprised to see me have post-partum depression.
She didn't have m/s - I had it so bad I ended up in the hospital three times due to dehydration. I have a bad back due to being rear ended while at a dead stop by someone doing 70+ mph and with my joints/ligaments loosening up, plus the change of gravity with the baby belly I'm constantly uncomfortable or in pain.
I just feel like I should be enjoying this pregnancy more then I am. And I do enjoy it when I feel kicks, hear the heartbeat or get to see LO on u/s - but not everyone's made to enjoy pregnancy.
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Re: Feeling guilty **sorta vent**
First of all you should have told her to shut her fvcking mouth. Second of all your DH should have told her to shut her fvcking mouth. Not every loves pregnancy, and when you have a rough start, you are not going to love it.
The next time she says anything respond with "I'm glad you really enjoyed your pregnancies, you must not have been in the hospital with m/s so bad that you needed to be re-hydrated."
I think you said it yourself. Everyone & every pregnancy is different. Don't beat yourself up over how you're feeling & try not to let other people's opinions get to you. Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one.
Do what's best for you & your DH.
(((hugs)))
My mom is similar. I have had a pretty easy pregnancy so far, but my mom keeps telling me that I'm complaining too much, or making up symptoms for sympathy. Um...no. I'm not making up that my back is killing me and that RLP hurts. Sorry mom, but RLP is REAL!
Sorry you haven't had a great pregnancy. I hope it eases up soon so you cna enjoy the little moments.
My BFP Chart
I am in the same boat. I have a bone disorder which makes me uncomfortable all the time and now that i'm pregnant all the stretching and moving and growing i'm in pain 99% of the time, very uncomfortable. And everyone tells me to just ignore it and enjoy the growing baby.
people are ignorant to how someone else feels.
I'll also add that your MIL has probably had 20-30 years to let her pregnancy memories fade into warm-fuzzies. I imagine that when I am awaiting my first grandchild I will also look back on all the "magical" parts of pregnancy while conveniently forgetting how awful MS and growing pains were.
With all you have to deal with physically, I'm not surprised you're not enjoying it as much as the next person. Everyone's different.
First, I'd definitely stop talking where she can hear. I know you live with her temporarily, but I'd try having these discussions behind a closed door where she can't stick her know it all nose into it.
Second, I'd put off talking about #2 until you have number one. Even if your pregnancy sucks, you might find after you have baby that it'd be worth it to go through it again for another LO. Then again, you might not.
I also find that our lives in general impact how much we enjoy pregnany. I was laid off from my job last month and we have taken a huge hit financially. And the longer it takes for me to find a job the more I stress that it won't happen prior to baby. There are a lot of people out of work in my industry looking so why would they hire someone pregnant. Anyway my point is I am super stressed about the finances and job etc and that does take away from the pregnany experience. I know you have had some recent struggles too so that probably doesn't help you enjoy pregnancy either.