Catholic baptism and church question

mkanderson85 · January 2010

DH is Methodist, but my family is adamant about the baby being baptized in the Catholic church. DH and I aren't really avid church goers and I was a parishoner of the Catholic church on my college campus, but since I have graduated, I am no longer considered a parishoner. I live in a smaller town now, but I don't really care to begin going to church here because I teach in the community and I want to keep my personal business out of the community *things are so clickish and snobby and such here. I even go to the grocery store out of the small town because a student once made a comment about the items in my basket the next day at school*.

I guess my overall question is, would you try and go back to the church on campus and go through all the BS of paperwork to become a parishoner there or suck it up and go here in town. I guess since my mother is Catholic, I could just baptize the baby in her parish. DH could care less about baptizing or anything so it's really all me here. When I bring it up, he says that he doesn't care and that I need to do whatever I want.

ALSO- I wasn't married within the church. Will that have any weight on their decision? I know they get picky with certain things.

allyandpat2010 · January 2010

Not sure about the other stuff but I wasn't married in the church and had DD baptized.

mkanderson85 · January 2010

allyandpat2010:
Not sure about the other stuff but I wasn't married in the church and had DD baptized.

Were you parishoner there, or did you just call and get her baptized? My mom said that she just called for both of us, but the churchs here are so anal that we have to be "good standing parishoners" for us to get the baby baptized.

allyandpat2010 · January 2010

Nope not a parishioner there. In fact alot like you, I felt it was more of a thing I did for family than anything. I actually attend a Baptist church now for the last 5 years and DD wants to be re-baptized now that she understands what it means. DH's family is Catholic like mine too.

alice2Bcheshire · January 2010

I think your DH is right: you need to do what YOU want. You say that your family is insisting that LO be baptized in the Church, but you haven't said if that's what you want as well.

If you end up baptizing LO as a Catholic, you'll be responsible for raising him/her as a Catholic as well-- that kind of commitment could be trying on you if your heart isn't in it. I'm a Catholic, but DH isn't-- we were married in the Church and I have promised to raise our children as Catholics. DH is supportive, but much of our childrens' religious education will fall on me.

I don't think your former parish (or the one in town, or your mother's) would turn your LO away if you do decide to baptize LO there-- GL in whatever you decide.

BelhurstBride · January 2010

I don't understand why you want to have your child baptized if you do not, and have no intention to begin practicing the religion?

When you baptize your child you're making a commitment to the church that you will raise the child in the religion. Are you going to lie to the church about your intentions?

Shandie_725 · January 2010

It really depends on the church whether or not they'd accept you and baptize the baby. My BFF lives in GA (H is in the Navy) and she asked me to be the Godmother. If her LO is baptized down there, I won't be the Godmother since they require you to have been Confirmed (which I haven't yet). If she baptizes LO in NH (where we're from) then I will be since Father Steve isn't super strict about those rules.

mkanderson85 · January 2010

I do plan to raise the child Catholic. I will send him/her to a Catholic daycare and Catholic school and so on a so forth. I just don't care for the church here in town. I attend the campus church still, just not every week as I should and DH never goes ever. The actual process of becoming a parishoner though is just SUCH a pain and requires so much legwork and such because it is not the church here in town.

The whole thing is just super complicated!

BelhurstBride · January 2010

I would have the baptism at whichever church you plan on beginning to regularly attend with your child.

allyandpat2010 · January 2010

MarcnShaun:
It really depends on the church whether or not they'd accept you and baptize the baby. My BFF lives in GA (H is in the Navy) and she asked me to be the Godmother. If her LO is baptized down there, I won't be the Godmother since they require you to have been Confirmed (which I haven't yet). If she baptizes LO in NH (where we're from) then I will be since Father Steve isn't super strict about those rules.

Is this possible?? I thought it was a universal Catholic Church rule.

Back when I had DD baptized I was going to mass on occasion and really had no interest in religion beyond the superficial. I had a moment (which is the best way I can describe it) when DD was two that I realized myself and DD needed God and some direction in life and I had watched a sermon on TV by a local pastor and he spoke right to my heart. This baby (as well as my stepsons) will be dedicated after birth, which basically means we promise to raise them in God's word as Christian parents.

mkanderson85 · January 2010

allyandpat2010:

MarcnShaun:
It really depends on the church whether or not they'd accept you and baptize the baby. My BFF lives in GA (H is in the Navy) and she asked me to be the Godmother. If her LO is baptized down there, I won't be the Godmother since they require you to have been Confirmed (which I haven't yet). If she baptizes LO in NH (where we're from) then I will be since Father Steve isn't super strict about those rules.

Is this possible?? I thought it was a universal Catholic Church rule.

Back when I had DD baptized I was going to mass on occasion and really had no interest in religion beyond the superficial. I had a moment (which is the best way I can describe it) when DD was two that I realized myself and DD needed God and some direction in life and I had watched a sermon on TV by a local pastor and he spoke right to my heart. This baby (as well as my stepsons) will be dedicated after birth, which basically means we promise to raise them in God's word as Christian parents.

Yeah, some priests are very lax in their parishes. South Louisiana doesnt really know the meaning of a lax priest.

allyandpat2010 · January 2010

mkanderson85:
allyandpat2010:

MarcnShaun:
It really depends on the church whether or not they'd accept you and baptize the baby. My BFF lives in GA (H is in the Navy) and she asked me to be the Godmother. If her LO is baptized down there, I won't be the Godmother since they require you to have been Confirmed (which I haven't yet). If she baptizes LO in NH (where we're from) then I will be since Father Steve isn't super strict about those rules.

Is this possible?? I thought it was a universal Catholic Church rule.

Back when I had DD baptized I was going to mass on occasion and really had no interest in religion beyond the superficial. I had a moment (which is the best way I can describe it) when DD was two that I realized myself and DD needed God and some direction in life and I had watched a sermon on TV by a local pastor and he spoke right to my heart. This baby (as well as my stepsons) will be dedicated after birth, which basically means we promise to raise them in God's word as Christian parents.

Yeah, some priests are very lax in their parishes. South Louisiana doesnt really know the meaning of a lax priest.

I hear ya there cher! lol I live in Southeast Texas about 20 miles from Louisiana. HUGE Catholic population.

BarbieNCSU · January 2010

Most of the time it depends on how strict the Catholic Church is as to following all of their rules/requirements. Most of the Catholic Churches I have attended in the past require that you were married in a Catholic church - although there is paperwork you can fill out if you were not married in the church you intend to baptize the baby at - mainly verifying from another Priest that you were legitimately married there.

The only other thing that you can do if you are having issues is offer a large donation - it is sad that most churches (Catholic or not) operate this way, but I have seen this work several times in different ways.

Starfish17 · January 2010

My church requires you to be a registered "active" parishioner for at least a few months before they will allow you to have your child baptized. This includes regularly attending mass, using the donation envelopes etc. You could check with each church and see what the requirements are. If you have access to the church where you were baptized, confirmed, etc, they may also be more flexible, although they may require some documentation that you are registered at another church. Not being married within the church shouldn't matter though.

LLShrestha · January 2010

Gotta call them up and ask them what the rules are as to the baptism. I do agree with one poster that you should do this in a church you know you will be going to, but if you know you are not going to go, then don't get the child baptized, after all, it is a promise in the eyes of the church and the God that you are going to raise the child under the rules and regulations of the God and the church of that faith. My husband and I are not going to do anything religious or otherwise to our child because we believe religion is a personal thing between you and whatever religion you pick, not something that should be forced onto you at birth, much my my family and his families disappointment but in the end I really did not want to show 'favor' to something I myself do not believe in and neither did my husband just to make them feel better. My mother thought the same way hence why I was never baptized and I am quite grateful to her for that, I got to choose my own path.

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