Need a REALLY gentle way to cut down on night nursing

webMistress0609 · January 2010

Most of you guys know about Ari's reflux & food allergy issues, so I won't go into all of the backstory.

After we started Prevacid & I cut out dairy, we got his nightwakings down from 9-12 to 2-3. Well, since his reflux is acting up again, he's back up to 5-7. We've seen a big improvement in his symptoms since sh!t hit the fan a few weeks ago, but we're still waiting to see the GI & compelte some allergy testing next week & he's not exactly all better.

I'm hoping once we get these issues resolved that the nightwaking will also resolve itself. But if it doesn't, what are some really gentle ways I can get him to cut back on the nursing? PPO isn't going to do it this time - we don't have a suck to sleep issue. He'll unlatch, roll over & go back to sleep. He just wants to nurse every 1-2 hours all night long. 2-3 wakings is fine, but I really can't do the every hour or so thing much longer. I'm going to end up getting in trouble at work if I don't get it together, & I'm cranky all the time. It's effecting my work & my relationship with DH.

I've been trying to tank him up during the day as much as possible. DH has been giving him an extra ounce or 2 of EBM at every feed while I'm working, & I've been trying to get him to cluster feed in the evening too. Sometimes he'll only nurse for a few minutes though - not sure if it's distraction, reflux, or he's just full. We've also tried having DH rock him back to sleep since that worked well during our NCSS plan, but he either just stays up or screams his head off. Obviously since a lot of this is a result of medical issues & with his reflux he really doesn't have the ability to drop all night feedings (nor do I care for him to), I want to do this as gently as possible. I've heard of giving them a bottle full of just water. Anyone try that? Any other tips?

PaxMama · January 2010

Well, I don't have any advice for getting DS to sleep more through the night...Our DS is 20 months and still wakes frequently.

I don't know what all you've posted regarding his food allergies because I just recently started viewing this board. Our DS has severe food allergies as well, but it also very sensitive to a few other not so obvious things.

One thing I noticed is that when I eat (bc I nurse) foods that he is sensitive to, his night wakings shoot up from 2-3 to 5-8!!! Do you think this could be a cause?

Also, I know that kiddos with reflux tend to have low stomach acid, which is often a sign of low zinc. Maybe look into that and possibly supplement zinc? DS also has reflux and supplementing zinc has helped decrease the issues---although some may argue that he has simply outgrown the reflux. Who knows.

Either way, good luck to you. Hope you are able to find some rest. So hard when you have a rough time during the day and night. Hugs to you!

goodheartedmommy · January 2010

The water sounds like a bad idea. Honestly, I feel like it's just something you have to deal with. Bella (my middle) was up every 1/2 hour for her first year of life. Yeah, it sucked and I would have preferred not waking up so often, but there was no way to get her to break that gently. The nursing for yours is soothing to the pain of reflux, too. Anyway, you can try the things you want to try, but I don't know if it's going to help. I think the most beneficial thing you can do is adjust your expectations. I didn't stumble around, not able to function for a year. I feel like you stress yourself out more than is necessary. By 13 months, Bella was waking only once, and 14 months, STTN. She is an excellent sleeper still.

lkstor · January 2010

goodheartedmommy:
The water sounds like a bad idea. Honestly, I feel like it's just something you have to deal with. Bella (my middle) was up every 1/2 hour for her first year of life. Yeah, it sucked and I would have preferred not waking up so often, but there was no way to get her to break that gently. The nursing for yours is soothing to the pain of reflux, too. Anyway, you can try the things you want to try, but I don't know if it's going to help. I think the most beneficial thing you can do is adjust your expectations. I didn't stumble around, not able to function for a year. I feel like you stress yourself out more than is necessary. By 13 months, Bella was waking only once, and 14 months, STTN. She is an excellent sleeper still.

totally butting in to tell goodheartedmommy that this made me feel great!

ncbelle · January 2010

I don't really have any advice but I will say that kiddo has gone in and out of cycles of more frequent wakings. Sometimes we were down to 2-3 and then it would shoot back up whenever we hit a milestone or had teething (so back up right now - fun times!). I never really did anything to "fix" it; it just resolved on it's own once the teething ended or he mastered the new skill he was learning.

Hopefully getting some help for his reflux will get him sleeping better.

lanie30 · January 2010

I completely and totally commiserate with the work situation. when I returned to work Jo was about 6 months old and still getting up every half hour-1 hour.

It's one thing to be exhausted at home with your kid. It's another to be exhausted, commute, deal with daycare, and then be expected to be in top form all day long during presentations, outreach and significant decision making. It just is.

Someone on here recommended something the other day by Dr. Jay Gordon? I think? Might want to check it out. It's for children over 1 apparently but his methods sounded reasonable. Also, is there anyone who can come over and let you nap? Or at least get a good saturday morning sleep in? I was able to bank my sleep and took my husband up on offers of naps all the time.

Jo did stop waking so frequently, though I attribute that to some ferber work which your little one isn't able to do. We did a gentle approach and infant massage too (that might help!)

webMistress0609 · January 2010

lanie30:
I completely and totally commiserate with the work situation. when I returned to work Jo was about 6 months old and still getting up every half hour-1 hour.
It's one thing to be exhausted at home with your kid. It's another to be exhausted, commute, deal with daycare, and then be expected to be in top form all day long during presentations, outreach and significant decision making. It just is.
Someone on here recommended something the other day by Dr. Jay Gordon? I think? Might want to check it out. It's for children over 1 apparently but his methods sounded reasonable. Also, is there anyone who can come over and let you nap? Or at least get a good saturday morning sleep in? I was able to bank my sleep and took my husband up on offers of naps all the time.
Jo did stop waking so frequently, though I attribute that to some ferber work which your little one isn't able to do. We did a gentle approach and infant massage too (that might help!)

Thanks lanie - it helps to hear from someone who understands. If I could take a nap with him during the day I wouldn't care so much. DH is a SAHD & offers to help with the wakings since he can nap with him, & that used to work, but now only mommy will do. Ari has recently consolidated to 2 naps, which is working really well for him, but that 40 minute late afternoon catnap was the key to my sanity. DH leaves for school shortly after I get off work & we don't really have anyone to help with child care. I'm just trying to get what I can over the weekends.

I've thought about an extremely modified version of Dr. Gordon's plan. His uses an 8 hr window, which I think is too much to expect of Ari at this point. I guess for now I'm just going to see if he cuts his wakings back down as he gets to feeling better.

webMistress0609 · January 2010

goodheartedmommy:
The water sounds like a bad idea. Honestly, I feel like it's just something you have to deal with. Bella (my middle) was up every 1/2 hour for her first year of life. Yeah, it sucked and I would have preferred not waking up so often, but there was no way to get her to break that gently. The nursing for yours is soothing to the pain of reflux, too. Anyway, you can try the things you want to try, but I don't know if it's going to help. I think the most beneficial thing you can do is adjust your expectations. I didn't stumble around, not able to function for a year. I feel like you stress yourself out more than is necessary. By 13 months, Bella was waking only once, and 14 months, STTN. She is an excellent sleeper still.

I'm not expecting STTN. I'm not even expecting a 5-6 hour stretch in all honesty. If you didn't find yourself sleep deprived waking that much, that's great, but I do. Sorry, I'm trying to keep my expectations as low as possible & trying to not stress, but I cannot function well with my sleep interrupted every hour. I have a high stress job, I'm breadwinner for a family of 4 now that DH is back in school, I have no help in the evenings, & Ari is an extremely active, high needs kid who needs tons of undivided attention all day long. I'm a better mother & wife & more patient & deal with all of that a hell of a lot better if I'm only woken up 2-3 times at night.

webMistress0609 · January 2010

PaxMama:
Well, I don't have any advice for getting DS to sleep more through the night...Our DS is 20 months and still wakes frequently.
I don't know what all you've posted regarding his food allergies because I just recently started viewing this board. Our DS has severe food allergies as well, but it also very sensitive to a few other not so obvious things.
One thing I noticed is that when I eat (bc I nurse) foods that he is sensitive to, his night wakings shoot up from 2-3 to 5-8!!! Do you think this could be a cause?
Also, I know that kiddos with reflux tend to have low stomach acid, which is often a sign of low zinc. Maybe look into that and possibly supplement zinc? DS also has reflux and supplementing zinc has helped decrease the issues---although some may argue that he has simply outgrown the reflux. Who knows.
Either way, good luck to you. Hope you are able to find some rest. So hard when you have a rough time during the day and night. Hugs to you!

I will definitely look into this. Thanks for the suggestion.

goodheartedmommy · January 2010

I'm assuming he'll take a bottle since you work. With the updated info, I would suggest having DH get up with him at least a couple of times per night. Even if he's crying, he's being comforted and cared for, by the person who stays home with him. That is completely different than CIO. He may be upset, but his needs are still being met.

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