MIL calling LO "her baby"

mcbray21 · January 2010

Has any one else had an issue with this? MIL refers to our LO as her baby. I know it isn't that big of a deal, but it really bothers me. She also acts like she has some kind of entitlement when it comes to the baby. When we visit, she will just take LO right out of my arms without even asking. And she is the biggest baby hog I have ever met. I am not confrontational, and I don't know what to do. She drives me crazy! It has gotten to the point where every thing she does gets on my nerves.

ach99 · January 2010

Are you sure we don't have the same MIL?

OCMom2009 · January 2010

We must have the same MIL but mine also critcizes how the baby is dressed, how she needs to gain weight...I can't take it.

mommy~to~mj · January 2010

Yes! It started when I was still pregnant and drives me nuts. I started with responding "yes your GRANDbaby," etc. I know it's not a big deal but it does bug me.

KMT to JWH · January 2010

Wow! Thats my MIL! She also tells me how she did things with her kids and I'm like i don't really care.

dragonsmercy · January 2010

My mom does that, sometimes, calling Evvy "her" baby... we live with my parents, so fortunately she's not constantly taking her out of my arms, and it's nice for when I want to make dinner, if she's awake, I'll give her to mom so DH and I can enjoy a meal together in peace... but sometimes she drives me nuts when we're out, because she tends to crowd me, and a lot of the time tries to keep touching DD when she's in the Snugli... I'm the type of person that likes MY space... DD and DH are allowed in that space, but I don't like other people getting that close, including my mom. Hugs are ok.. constantly being in my face is not.

bim38106 · January 2010

I understand.. I think you have to pick your battles. Calling your LO "hers" may be annoying, but if you MIL is anything like mine, you'll have other things to deal with later and you don't want to come off like you're nitpicking at every little thing and her just completely ignore everything you say.

I'm ok with my MIL calling DD "hers" but when DD1 started talking and my MIL said, this is "Papa" to my FIL and then "I'm Mama" for herself. I said, "No. I"M Mama. YOU are Grandma".

I guess as long as it's not a huge deal, try to hold back. And say something for the larger things. A good thing too is to let your DH try to make comments. I think it seems less confrontational that way and she might take it better.

abbybff09 · January 2010

We have the SAME MIL! Cause when my son was 1 week old MIL came to visit for 3 days and she held him for about 12 hours each day! Except when he needed feeding, and she would make a huge deal about how I need to give Formula so SHE could feed the baby. Um NO THANK YOU!

The last time she visited I grew a back bone and would just take him away from her when I wanted him.

itkatydid@gmail.com · January 2010

ach99:
Are you sure we don't have the same MIL?

this.

Also, my MIL got into an agrument with my Mom while I was in labor in the waiting room (classy right?) about who would hold the baby first.

star678 · January 2010

So we have the same MIL?

Sorry I can't offer much advice, I just wanted to say I'm going through the same thing. My gem of a MIL also likes to say passive-aggressive things that hint towards her opinion of my parenting skills and Natalie is only 11 days old. She says things like, "she has scratches on her face!" (No, she didn't to be honest...)

The only advice I can give is that DH told her, "she's not your baby, mom.. I am your baby." I thought, way to go DH, play her guilt card! It worked, and she has stopped.

abbybff09 · January 2010

itkatydid@gmail.com:
ach99:
Are you sure we don't have the same MIL?
this.
Also, my MIL got into an agrument with my Mom while I was in labor in the waiting room (classy right?) about who would hold the baby first.

I would have settled that really fast. NO ONE!

texmommy3 · January 2010

My mom does this, and it has always gotten on my nerves.

kensbride08 · January 2010

I would have said "OHHH I didnt know you were the one who gained 50 lbs and labored for 16 hours and pushed this 8lb baby out of your vag....its MY baby ***"

but then again I dont like my MIL

stckgrl79 · January 2010

My MIL did this with my first child. We were on the phone and she said, "Why is my daughter crying?" I said, "my daughter is crying because she is hungry and since when do I have a sister in law?" (as my hubby is an only child). She hasnt said it since!

vmm0016 · January 2010

LOL, my mom does this but it doesn't bother me. She is not a baby hog though, she likes to share!

chloephoebecali · January 2010

My MIL, too. It used to annoy me, but now I'm okay. I was super sensitive to all stuff and and actually started avoiding MIL. She is a baby hog too. In the beginning I always felt like she was trying to take credit for the baby (like she was hers) and would ignore us if we asked her not to take her out of carseat, etc. I picked my battles and put my foot down if it that important. I found, though, at 2ish months I was less possessive and much more willing to let people watch her/hold her. I always offered her up, but I just hated the way my MIL would talk to her. I suddenly care much less. I am mommy and LO knows it.

juliane2004 · January 2010

Yes. I understand. I think they think they have entitlement to the baby because they dont see our LO's as often. I understand this, yes, but MIL, don't tell me "oh, she's crying cause she wants Grandma to hold her" - Um, no, she wants Mommy to feed her, is most likely the solution.

kthxbai.

jelina · January 2010

My mom does this but it doesn't bother me BECAUSE she feels no entitlement with LO. She would never take him out of my arms without asking. She is very respectful of me and DH as parents.

mcbray21 · January 2010

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one with a crazy MIL. It does help to know I'm not alone! Thanks ladies

HappyHeartUSA · January 2010

I think this happens to alot of us-- but I a few months out of this I learned to not care as much anymore. In the first 2 weeks I was getting upset about it, my mother pointed out to me-- YOU are his mother- he will never love anyone like YOU-- and I was like duh-- you are so right! As they get a little older they show a preference to you and it makes you feel a little like - ha- see! But I do want him to love his grandmothers too-- so I keep my victory to myself

anmartin3 · January 2010

I totally understand where you are coming from. My MIL calls our DS "son" it annoys me soooooooooo much!!! Pretty much everything she does now with DS annoys me, so I have to walk out of the room, and let her be creepy with him alone.

thebestkarebear · January 2010

I was lucky with my MIL cause by the time our oldest daughter was born, she had already had4 other grandchildren and there was no unequal treatment or possesiveness towards my daughters. My mother on the other hand acts like she is entitled to my girls because they are her only grandchildren. When she came into town for 2nd DD being born, apparently she acted quite childish in the waiting room about my oldest. My SIL told me the other day (I obviously wasn't out there, lol) that she was trying the entire time to keep Scarlet from going to other people. I understand she was coming from out of town, but Scarlet didn't want her to hold her. End of story. She irritates me by acting like just because she isn't here all the time means when she is here, she is the only one important for my children. >:l

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