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I hate feeling like this

cerad5cerad5 member
in Postpartum Depression
For a control freak like me, having no control over my emotions is so hard. I just can't wait for the day when I wake up, excited to see my baby, excited to play with her. Instead of dreading it, and being so afraid of being alone that I break down every time DH leaves the house. (Don't worry, I have started Zoloft two weeks ago, plus Xanax....and my OB won't let me be alone with LO yet because of the severe anxiety.) I keep telling myself, I didn't think it was going to be like this. It sucks. Grrr. 
DD 12/1/2009
TTC#2 Since May 2012
Dx PCOS February 2013 on Metformin 1500 mg
Met with RE October 2013, we've got a plan!
Surprise BFP on "break cycle" 10/12/13. EDD 6/17/14.
MMC discovered 11/25/13 at 10 weeks. D&C 11/27/13.
BFP 2/8/14 Beta#1: 176, Prog 18! Beta#2:335, Prog, 19.5!
EDD 10/16/2014

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Re: I hate feeling like this

  • oct11bride03oct11bride03
    I felt the exact same way. ((HUGS)) It DOES get better even though it might not seem like it right now. I was scared to death of being alone with my daughter but once the meds kicked in and the therapy started working it was so much better. Just take it one step at a time, one hour at a time.
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  • nicolebuchallanicolebuchalla member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I got lucky, I guess, that my anxiety didn't kick into high gear after I had Aidan. PPD DEFINITELY sucks though, and I hope the medicine helps. I still haven't contacted my OB for medication, so you're at least 1 step ahead of me.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    http://i41.tinypic.com/111ov4j.jpg
    2007-Sept 2008: TTC the old fashioned way
    Sept 2008 - Jan 2009: Clomid 100mg
    Feb 2009: 200mg Clomid = BFP! on March 20, 2009 - It's a BOY!
    Nov 26th 2009: Aidan Michael, 20.5" 7lb12oz
    Feb 2010: Start TTC again, the old fashioned way
    Mar - June 2011: Clomid 100mg
    July 2011: Unmedicated cycle = BFP! on August 29th, 2011
    Nov 6th 2011: m/c due to subchorionic hematoma
    Dec 2011: Start TTC again, unmedicated
    February 12th, 2012: BFP! EDD 10/23/12
    Mar 12th 2012: diagnosed as blighted ovum
    Trying again..
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