Anyone ever felt completely lost about what to do next?

hillaree · January 2010

Our 4th IUI was a bust, and DH & I feel completely lost about our next steps. Neither IVF or adoption feel right to us (at the moment, at least). Neither does living child free. I could maybe see doing some IUI's, but after 4 failed ones and with a MFI diagnosis, it doesn't seem like a very optimistic strategy.

Anyone else been in this position? How did you move forward?

We're taking a break this month and will probably meet with the RE and the beginning of next cycle to hear is thoughts. We're also praying...

CJ71903 · January 2010

(((Hugs))) I don't really have any advice. I hope that you and DH are able to find some peace with whatever you decide to do.

nikinikinine · January 2010

I don't have any advice for you. But I wanted to say I feel this way all the effing time. No decision ever seems "right". Just do what feels good to you and what you are ready for. Whatever choice you make will be the right one because it was yours, KWIM?

Mrs.Johns · January 2010

When you are ready to move on, you will know what to do.

Unfortunately, this isn't something we can help you decide.

patchen30 · January 2010

I'm sorry you're in this position (((hugs))). I always feel like with big, important decisions like this you probably know the answer deep down (even if you don't realize it now) and over time the path will become clear. It may just take a little while.

AuburnBride06 · January 2010

It's not something someone can tell you or pin point to how you will know. When it is time to move on, whatever direction that will be, you will just know. There will no longer be a question of "is this the right thing to do".

BenandDina · January 2010

I am sorry you're in this place, and I hope that the right decision for you and DH comes to you. Prayers is always a good idea, and perhaps, taking a break for a few months to regroup might give you the necessary space to process and figure out what you both would want next. It's never clear what the best decision might be, but you will find that you live your way into the answer eventually. I hope you get a chance to heal, grieve, process, spend some quality time with your DH and reassess.

hillaree · January 2010

nikinikinine:
I don't have any advice for you. But I wanted to say I feel this way all the effing time. No decision ever seems "right". Just do what feels good to you and what you are ready for. Whatever choice you make will be the right one because it was yours, KWIM?

Haha, yes! So true and I'm glad to hear you feel this way too. I agree that a decision will be made that will feel as right as possible, I'm just down sitting here in the unknown...

mrshoppy_1231 · January 2010

I have been feeling that way too hillaree, you are not alone. We are working on IUI #3 this month and I'm just not very hopeful with our MFI diagnosis either. I don't know how many we'll try but probably not many more. And I am in the exact same boat. No next step feels right at this time. I don't have any great advice but wanted you to know you are not alone! ((hugs))

hillaree · January 2010

BenandDina:
I am sorry you're in this place, and I hope that the right decision for you and DH comes to you. Prayers is always a good idea, and perhaps, taking a break for a few months to regroup might give you the necessary space to process and figure out what you both would want next. It's never clear what the best decision might be, but you will find that you live your way into the answer eventually. I hope you get a chance to heal, grieve, process, spend some quality time with your DH and reassess.

You put this very well. Thanks for the encouragement...."you will live your way into the answer eventually" has much truth to it. Thank you.

hillaree · January 2010

mrshoppy_1231:
I have been feeling that way too hillaree, you are not alone. We are working on IUI #3 this month and I'm just not very hopeful with our MFI diagnosis either. I don't know how many we'll try but probably not many more. And I am in the exact same boat. No next step feels right at this time. I don't have any great advice but wanted you to know you are not alone! ((hugs))

Thank you! I just said a prayer that IUI #3 is IT and you won't have to worry about any next steps.

pamela41208 · January 2010

if this last IUI doesn'twork out this cycle, i'm going to be in a similar boat. DH and i decided we're probably going to take a break and get used to the idea of adoption. we want to be parents so badly and at this point, we don't care how it happens.

jehnm · January 2010

You definitely aren't alone!! Right now DH and I are kind of just seeing where life takes us. We are praying for direction, but don't have a firm feeling on an answer yet. We plan to try at least one more IUI. 2 months ago, I was ready to sign with an adoption agency, but now that doesn't feel right. Right now I think if the IUI doesn't work we'll head into at least one IVF this summer before moving on to adoption, but like I said, nothing feels right currently!! I like the "live your way into it" mentality!!

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