boyfriend made me very sad tonight :(

jellybean210 · January 2010

we have had sex maybe 4 times since i got pregnant, last time being about 2-3 months ago. and ive been sort of hinting to find out why nothing has happened bc thats just wayyy out of the ordinary for us. and tonight he finally told me why. bc he is not attracted to pregnant women!!!!! WTF. im more than just some pregnant woman. 3 years together and im pregnant with HIS baby. its not like im packing on the pounds or anything. ive gained weight in my belly and boobs (which he should love and enjoy before it goes away!) but no eight gain anywhere else. his female cousin even said to me "god, wish i looked like that when i was pregnant. youre still fckable!" (lol) and my ex sorta said the same when i ran into him recently, only less crude. sooo...why does my boyfriend not think so? i just miss being close to him. he never even wants to cuddle with me anymore. Crying

kdiaisfly · January 2010

Cheer up it's not you that he's not attracted to, it's the fact that you're pregnant. This is common for a lot of men. I fully expected my SO to be one of those men and was surprised when he wasn't. I think if I were a man I might be a little freaked out by it but that's just me.

ETA: Cuddling is a different story tho, that would make me upset too

jellybean210 · January 2010

yeah, i understand it and everything, but it still sucks.

zomgkerrie · January 2010

he sounds like an a-hole. he should not be attracted to pregnant women as a whole he should be attracted to you IN ALL STATES! with a broken leg, a face tumor, breast cancer, and helping bring his own child into the world! shame on him. love supersedes all superficial things! he should want to be intimate with you because he loves you, not because of how you look. shame on him! >.<

NastyAnnie · January 2010

Please, please don't feel bad sweetie. I think this is a common thing with men. Either they are extremely turned on by pregnant women (think almost fetish territory) or they are extremely turned off. Most of it is mental, and to do with the STATE of pregnancy, and not actually our bodies at all.

Bun and I haven't had sex since BFP in August, even though my body had not changed at all (except that I lost weight) up until a couple of weeks ago. He just couldn't get his mind around the idea of having sex with a pregnant woman. It hurt, but I understand now that it's not that he's not attracted to ME, he just has a hang up about pregnancy. It isn't personal.

Try telling your boyfriend that, even if he doesn't want to have sex or whatever, you need some affection and attention. He is likely not cuddling/making out/whatever because he is afraid it will lead you to think he is going to "go there" when he really doesn't feel comfortable doing so. Bun and I had this conversation this weekend, and while it took some time, his behavior has improved DRASTICALLY since. It's definitely worth a try!

And, if nothing changes... you're so close. Just a few more weeks honey.

ABColeslaw · January 2010

That would make me sad too. I have the opposite problem...DH is always after me and I'm not interested.

Maybe your BF is nervous about the baby and mistaking it for not being attracted???? Just a thought.

sleepingbeauty825 · January 2010

I'd be like, "excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me?!?!" It's one thing to feel that way, it's a whole different ball game to say it out loud. What if you broke his leg and you were all, "I'm not attracted to men with broken legs."? Srsly.

aocain02@yahoo.com · January 2010

My DH won't touch me with a ten foot pole right now so don't feel too bad. He tells me it's just weird to try to have sexy time with me being this big and then always tries to justify it with I'm still sexy from behind. He doesn't even like to touch my belly for the most part. Pregnancy just is weird to some guys.

anabell0920 · January 2010

NastyAnnie:
Please, please don't feel bad sweetie. I think this is a common thing with men. Either they are extremely turned on by pregnant women (think almost fetish territory) or they are extremely turned off. Most of it is mental, and to do with the STATE of pregnancy, and not actually our bodies at all.

Bun and I haven't had sex since BFP in August, even though my body had not changed at all (except that I lost weight) up until a couple of weeks ago. He just couldn't get his mind around the idea of having sex with a pregnant woman. It hurt, but I understand now that it's not that he's not attracted to ME, he just has a hang up about pregnancy. It isn't personal.

Try telling your boyfriend that, even if he doesn't want to have sex or whatever, you need some affection and attention. He is likely not cuddling/making out/whatever because he is afraid it will lead you to think he is going to "go there" when he really doesn't feel comfortable doing so. Bun and I had this conversation this weekend, and while it took some time, his behavior has improved DRASTICALLY since. It's definitely worth a try!

And, if nothing changes... you're so close. Just a few more weeks honey.

I gotta disagree. Dh has never been turned on by pregnant women but he is turned on by ME not because I am pregnant but because I am his wife not just some pregnant chick. I mean at one point when I went out of town for 2 weeks and came back and the bump had grown I could tell he was almost scared to kiss my belly while we were having sexy time. I just explained to him that yes our son is in there but it's still MY belly. From then on he has never had a problem with my growing body. I have to admit I would be hurt if dh didn't want me sexually because I was pregnant but that's me. I do think that you need to sit down with him and explain how you feel. He honestly needs to know how it's affecting you. Sure you might be almost done but what happens if yall have another baby? I hope things get better!

NastyAnnie · January 2010

anabell0920:
NastyAnnie:

Please, please don't feel bad sweetie. I think this is a common thing with men. Either they are extremely turned on by pregnant women (think almost fetish territory) or they are extremely turned off. Most of it is mental, and to do with the STATE of pregnancy, and not actually our bodies at all.

Bun and I haven't had sex since BFP in August, even though my body had not changed at all (except that I lost weight) up until a couple of weeks ago. He just couldn't get his mind around the idea of having sex with a pregnant woman. It hurt, but I understand now that it's not that he's not attracted to ME, he just has a hang up about pregnancy. It isn't personal.

Try telling your boyfriend that, even if he doesn't want to have sex or whatever, you need some affection and attention. He is likely not cuddling/making out/whatever because he is afraid it will lead you to think he is going to "go there" when he really doesn't feel comfortable doing so. Bun and I had this conversation this weekend, and while it took some time, his behavior has improved DRASTICALLY since. It's definitely worth a try!

And, if nothing changes... you're so close. Just a few more weeks honey.

I gotta disagree. Dh has never been turned on by pregnant women but he is turned on by ME not because I am pregnant but because I am his wife not just some pregnant chick. I mean at one point when I went out of town for 2 weeks and came back and the bump had grown I could tell he was almost scared to kiss my belly while we were having sexy time. I just explained to him that yes our son is in there but it's still MY belly. From then on he has never had a problem with my growing body. I have to admit I would be hurt if dh didn't want me sexually because I was pregnant but that's me. I do think that you need to sit down with him and explain how you feel. He honestly needs to know how it's affecting you. Sure you might be almost done but what happens if yall have another baby? I hope things get better!

I would never go so far as to say all men react that way. Of course, everyone is different and has different circumstances. But from my many "I will never get laid again" vent/rants, and a lot of guys I have talked to about it, those are the major camps. Of course, this "extremely turned on" group isn't turned on by pregnancy in general, but by their SO's specifically being pregnant. The hormones and "glow" and biological signs of fertility play a big role there.

For the rest of our guys, biology apparently does not overcome the heebie-jeebies. Lol

anabell0920 · January 2010

NastyAnnie:
anabell0920:
NastyAnnie:

Please, please don't feel bad sweetie. I think this is a common thing with men. Either they are extremely turned on by pregnant women (think almost fetish territory) or they are extremely turned off. Most of it is mental, and to do with the STATE of pregnancy, and not actually our bodies at all.

Bun and I haven't had sex since BFP in August, even though my body had not changed at all (except that I lost weight) up until a couple of weeks ago. He just couldn't get his mind around the idea of having sex with a pregnant woman. It hurt, but I understand now that it's not that he's not attracted to ME, he just has a hang up about pregnancy. It isn't personal.

Try telling your boyfriend that, even if he doesn't want to have sex or whatever, you need some affection and attention. He is likely not cuddling/making out/whatever because he is afraid it will lead you to think he is going to "go there" when he really doesn't feel comfortable doing so. Bun and I had this conversation this weekend, and while it took some time, his behavior has improved DRASTICALLY since. It's definitely worth a try!

And, if nothing changes... you're so close. Just a few more weeks honey.

I gotta disagree. Dh has never been turned on by pregnant women but he is turned on by ME not because I am pregnant but because I am his wife not just some pregnant chick. I mean at one point when I went out of town for 2 weeks and came back and the bump had grown I could tell he was almost scared to kiss my belly while we were having sexy time. I just explained to him that yes our son is in there but it's still MY belly. From then on he has never had a problem with my growing body. I have to admit I would be hurt if dh didn't want me sexually because I was pregnant but that's me. I do think that you need to sit down with him and explain how you feel. He honestly needs to know how it's affecting you. Sure you might be almost done but what happens if yall have another baby? I hope things get better!

I would never go so far as to say all men react that way. Of course, everyone is different and has different circumstances. But from my many "I will never get laid again" vent/rants, and a lot of guys I have talked to about it, those are the major camps. Of course, this "extremely turned on" group isn't turned on by pregnancy in general, but by their SO's specifically being pregnant. The hormones and "glow" and biological signs of fertility play a big role there.

For the rest of our guys, biology apparently does not overcome the heebie-jeebies. Lol

I was just responding to the "fetish territory" comment cause dh might be freaky in bed bout some stuff but that's not one of them! Stick out tongue

ABColeslaw · January 2010

sleepingbeauty825:
I'd be like, "excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me?!?!" It's one thing to feel that way, it's a whole different ball game to say it out loud. What if you broke his leg and you were all, "I'm not attracted to men with broken legs."? Srsly.

Dude, I think I friggan love you!

rcausey · January 2010

First of all, I almost wish I had this problem. My hubby's drive and affection toward me has not changed AT ALL and I'm so uncomfortable in any position we try that I'm just not into it. I want to have sex with him, but we can't find a position that works for me with my belly being so huge.

That being said, I think your dude is being totally selfish and childish. As my hubby always says, he's even more attracted to me because I am the mother of his child. He loves touching my belly and we have compensated from the lack of sex by taking a shower together every night. When I'm naked in front of him, he can't stop staring and I am totally grossed out by myself. Ugh! Anyway, I will agree that some guys do take this differently than others. He may just be weirded out by the fact that there is a baby in there. Maybe its just hard for him to get into it knowing that there is a baby inside you. Kinda like its hard for me to feel sexy when a baby is constantly thrashing around inside me!

marinewifebarker · January 2010

Hollysmoffett:

That would make me sad too. I have the opposite problem...DH is always after me and I'm not interested.

Maybe your BF is nervous about the baby and mistaking it for not being attracted???? Just a thought.

This is my problem too. Sorry about your boyfriend. Try not to take it too personal--although that'd be extremely hard. I agree with Sleeping Beauty and the broken leg thing! I suppose just be glad pregnancy is only temporary and you'll eventually get back to normal!

Pamiejane · January 2010

My DH is the same, and no it is not that he is worried about hurting the baby. He told me just after we got married that he did not find pregnant woman attractive. He then reminded me of this a year later when I was about 18 weeks! Not that I needed reminding. I wrote a post about it a while ago, he actually told me that I should wear baggier clothing as people could begin to see I was pregnant and it was "decidedly unattractive"!!!! I went out and bought a whole lot of cute tight maternity wear!

He has gotten a little better lately, and has actually touched my tummy as he walked past and not just when I put his hand on to feel the baby move. I think he is beginning to realise that this is his child inside.

However, he will not cuddle though and we have only done it THREE times in the past 8 months! As I am getting bigger I am beginning to mind less and less. Unless of course I am overdue then he is going to have to get his act together and I will not take any excuses!

UrbanLe1 · January 2010

Wow. I feel sad for all of you.

But it's just the way a lot of men are--and how lots of guys are brought up. Men have been conditioned to like a certain type of body, a certain type of woman--and these days, "pregnant" ain't it. Forget the fact that we're supposed to be beautiful and womanly and fertile and the essence of female and all that crap.

Over time, society has dictated that pregnant women are too delicate, fragile, and well, crazy to be regular women. We're too fragile to carry things, or wear heels (which might help bring back the sexy, might I add), or god forbid, have sex with the very men who've gotten us in this condition in the first place. Not for me, thanks.

These days, I'm not having sex as much as usual, and I feel bad for DH for that. But...we're still going at it at least twice a week, and while he doesn't like feeling LO move in the middle of sexy time--neither do I!

luckyu522001 · January 2010

sleepingbeauty825:
I'd be like, "excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me?!?!" It's one thing to feel that way, it's a whole different ball game to say it out loud. What if you broke his leg and you were all, "I'm not attracted to men with broken legs."? Srsly.

I think you should try this!!!

I've met guys that are really turned on by pregnant woman. I've also gotten creepy messages on MySpace asking me for pics...um..ew!

You're absolutely gorgeous! He's the d-bag with the problem!!!

KristelFowler · January 2010

okay no offense or anything but seems like alot of you are married to douche bags..I mean why in the world would your man not be attracted to you? You are still you...just with a belly..The whole crap about not wanting to have sex because it will hurt the baby..its BS..what moron would think that you could possible hurt the baby? COME ON..ITS 2010 are you serious? Your man should be if anything more turned on by you..you are carrying HIS child...thats an amazing thing! I feel truly blessed that my husband is always wanting to make love to me and cuddle with me. When I am the one who doesnt feel up to it as often. But then again I wouldnt be with someone who didnt find me attractive because I am pregnant...

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