Mother Vent!!!

MrsColvin · January 2010

Let me start by saying me and my mother don't get along!! She is judgemental and controli g and doesn't know whento keep her mouth shut nor is she supportive in any way!! This being said... I just toldmy mom under no u certaintermz that she isn't allowed in my delivery room, that on e we were moved to our room she could come in but not until then and she went off on me!!! She said it's pathetic that she was able to be with her daughter in law but not her own daughter!!! Yea well my SIL is my moms little pawn... She does anything and everything that my mother tells her to do but I'm not that way and if I don't want her there she should respect that! So then she has the nerve to say well who's gonna stop her if she wants to be inthere!! I swear if my mother comes thru the doors of my delivery room I will get my laboring a** off the bed and kill her!!! When my SIL was in labor my mother actually told the doctor that he was doing his job right and told m SIL when she needed to get the epibNd everything and she thinks I would allow that in my room?? No way!!! Especially since I am not getting drugs at all.. Which she doesn't support! Like I want her in there telling me I can't do it and need to get drugs when my birth plan is to go natural?? No thank you. And to top it all off she always tries to block my DH out when she's around like she is more important than him! This is mine and DHs thing and she should just get over it!!! I'm almost to the point of not even calling her until after the baby is born!!! Sorry this was so long but she just pissed me off about this!!!

poison489 · January 2010

Sorry to hear that your mom is being so unsupportive. Perhaps when you both have had a little bit of time to calm down, you can let her know the reasons behind wanting only DH there in the room with you. Leaving out the fact that you don't think she would be supportive of what you want.

I am happy that my mother lives out of state and will not be around for LO's arrival. She is a former OB nurse that thinks she knows it all and bossed both of my sisters through their labor. Best of luck to you!

carney09 · January 2010

1. Use paragraphs, its easier to read. lol

2. You can tell the hospital who to let in the room. If she tries any shenanigans, they'll escort her out.

frostnoel · January 2010

Let the nursing staff know who is welcome in your room while you are laboring and who is not. They can take care of her. Also, let your DH know that its his job to enforce that if she manages to get past the hospital staff. It's your baby and you need to give birth in an enviroment that you can relax and focus in.

bjmyangel · January 2010

I know how you feel. My mom WAS in the delivery room when I had my DD (and when my sister had her kids). I will regret that for the rest of my life. She was a b!tch! She actually told the nurses that I was not "allowed" to have the epidural yet. And they listened to her! I was almost 21 years old! I begged and begged for it, but they waited until she said it was ok before I got it. I also have her on video talking to my baby telling her to "look at your mommy, crying like a baby"...blah blah blah... She will not be near the delivery room this time. I feel the same as you do.

BoSoxbride · January 2010

Ugh. Sorry your mom's being such an arse. Wish I had some advice, but she sounds pretty hard headed. GL.

BananaSD · January 2010

Wow! you seem really upset; Im sorry you have that kind of relationship with your mother...Regarding her trying to make sure she is in the Delivery Room, YOU are the one that makes the rules that day. I would just be sure to tell your nurse(s) that you are FIRM with only you and DH and please do not let anyone else in. G/L!

KateLouise · January 2010

I would not get into justifying or explaining your reasons to her.

If you give here reason then you are just giving her something that she can try and argue or reason her way around.

If it comes up again I would just say, "Mum I've told you my decision, this is not up for negotiation or discussion."

When she throws a tantrum I would add, "this behaviour reinforces my decision."

I'm sorry your Mum is being a brat. Stick to your guns. Research shows that a stressed birthing environment can slow the labour.

ditzydi_2000 · January 2010

Hmmmm...considering it doesn't sound like you ever get along with her I wouldn't feel bad about threatening her with the prospect of being escorted out by security in the event that she decides to throw a hissy fit and try and make her way into your room. Sorry she's being so difficult.

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