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TTC after 35
RE yesterday - kinda sad about it
Hi, Girls.
So, I went to the RE yesterday for the pre-IUI talk. Since we actually had this talk before I got pg on my own in late Sept., I really did not expect a rehash of how bloody unlikely it is that I'm ever going to get pregnant, but it happened. I know the doctor just wants me to go in with my eyes open, but they are open already! Enough with the crow bar!
That said, the doc still recommends IVF w/DE - something I would do happily, but DH won't, for reasons I respect.
Since that's off the table, he recommends one IUI with high dose injectibles to see how I respond. I told him that this is likely all that we'll be willing to do, but he told me, just in case, that if I respond well to the stims, and yet don't get pregnant, he'd recommend we do the kind of IVF where they select the best sperm and literally inject them into the best eggs. IF we get to that point, he says there's a 20 percent chance of it working.
But he is not optimistic we would get to that point. He wants to test my FSH again before we do anything, and if it is much higher, he won't even do the IUI. he said it would be like taking money from me, and he won't do it.
Other fun facts I learned yesterday: Another doc in the practice told me our chances of success with either natural conception or ART with my eggs are <5% per cycle. This doc was more specific about natural chances: About .5 percent. That's one-half of one percent. Great.
Also, I knew DH's sperm issues mean that fewer sperm can penetrate eggs. What I did not know: irregular spermies come in multiple shapes, and some of the ones DH has CAN penetrate an egg. But the miscarriage rate is higher.
I know that I'll get through this, one step at a time. And really, if my FSH is too high to progress, that just means I'll be moving on to adoption - it doesn't mean no baby.
Still, all of this was very hard to hear - or re-hear.
Thank you all for listening.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: RE yesterday - kinda sad about it
oh Joy I am sure that was not easy to hear (((HUGS)))
I know your head is swimming but please try and take it one day at a time. try not to look too far into the future. I am sending you lots of postive vibes and I hope that whatever you decide to do is successful!
Thank you, Dina. Success of some sort awaits and the end of this process! it's just the process that sometimes bites. Yo, Process! Bite me!
MAH, just knowing you are all here for me is really all I need you to do - unless you've got some Oil of Olay for Ovaries.
Stupid bump keeps eating my post.
I'm so sorry, Joyful. I know how hard that conversation is to have, no matter how many times you hear it. Sending you all of my positive thoughts, and admiring the strength and courage you hold during this journey.?
Oh Joyful, I'm so sorry to hear this. I fear I will be in the same boat as you if I don't start getting AF again. I really, really, really want to be pregnant, even with DE, but DH needs some convincing. So, we may have to move to adoption too. I sincerely hope for both of us that we can get our bodies to cooperate.
{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}
I'm sorry Joyful. <<Hugs>>
I do think your RE seems a bit too pessimistic. After all, you did get pregnant on your own one cycle. I know it didn't work out, but still I think your chances have to be greater than .05%.
You will have a baby soon, but you might get your baby in a way that is not the norm. I remind myself of this when I am feeling down. For me, I have never done anything the traditional way (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not), so why should this be any different. Not sure if that helps you, but it does me so I thought I would share.
Hang in there.
I'm so sorry, that news is a bitter pill to swallow but at least he was forthcoming and didn't fart puppies and rainbows just to take your money. I still have hope for you and hope that your FSH behaves enough for him to let you move forward with the IVF if the IUI doesn't work.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
PS....I'm doing the high dose injectables and Clomid right now for my 4th IUI. I'll know if that worked on Friday.
I don't know if this will help at all, but two months ago my doc was telling me that I had no antral follicles and DE would be our only possibility. We were looking into adoption and and donor embryos when I asked them to run my blood work again, and as a result I just went through IVF with my own eggs. Of course, I don't know if it worked yet, but out of only six eggs, five fertilized with ICSI (the process you were referring to of injecting the sperm), and four of them grew to blastocyst stage.
I've learned never to give up, and the docs aren't always right. I wish you the best of luck!
you are in my prayers and thoughts Joyful.. I sure hope the IUI works out and I am sorry that you had to go through all of this.. IF is sooo unfair... don't give up.. try to keep your spirits up... (I know easier said that done) ..
{{HUGS}}
It's never easy to get not so great news. It's good to be realistic as well but there's no reason not to be a little hopeful too. When I did IVF (and we did do ICSI along with it which is the injecting of the sperm) I was told my chance of success was less than 20% and yet I got pregnant and had my daughter. Also, my husband and I were told that on our own we had a less than 4% chance of getting pregnant and yet I did get pregnant, although sadly I lost that baby. Granted, 4% seems high compared to your less than one percent, but I sometimes think doctors tell us the worst case scenario just because they don't want to instill too much hope in us or have us forgo treatments that may have a much higher rate of success.
Has your husband had a DNA fragmentation test done on his sperm? My husband has 0% morph, so no normal looking sperm at all, and yet we've had two healthy children and I've gotten pregnant three times (although the one time was with IVF and ICSI). The importance of morph seems to be highly debated in the infertility world.
I wish you success with whatever you end up doing.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
Oh Joy. That certainly wasn't easy to hear.
I too hope that whatever it is your decide works. We are here for you. (((hugs)))
Sending you hugs and prayers.
Oh Joy...That is a whole lot to digest.
I would listen to your heart. You know the right road to travel.
I love your unending positive attitude! You will get a baby one way or another!
Oh Joy...why can't this be easier for us...
I pray that you'll find peace of mind with your decision and course of action whatever you and DH decide.
Always remember that we are here for you.
Hi, NJ. My FSH is 17. Ugh.
Good luck! I hope you get great news Friday!
The DOCTOR would be willing to do IVF, but right now, my DH isn't. Until recently, I didn't want to, either. There was just something about hearing the doc say .5 percent naturally or 20 percent with this procedure. Still, I think the IUI will be it for us.
Oh, that's such great news! Fingers crossed for you!
I dont' think we'll be doing IVF, regardless of the results. But if I "flunk" the FSH test, I will ask my doc if he'll retest on another cycle so that we could go forward with the IUI.
He has not had that test. The docs do say that my issues are the ones that are most problematic, and that, whatever we decide, we can work with the sperm he has. So, I don't see the need, in our case, for more testing. Esp. because we are not currently planning to do IVF.
Hi, Char!
We talked briefly about embryo adoption, but perhaps we should talk some more about it!
Sending huge hugs.
Joy - I have always thought that your personality and positive attitude are very inspiring. Someday you will have your own baby. One of the paths (IUI, IVF w/ ICSI, or adoption) will lead you to your baby.
I am so sorry you had to take that all in, again. Sending you big higs.
As others have said I would like to reiterte, you postive attitude is an inspiration. Your wonderful, positive, full of hope attitude is one of the reasons I felt comfortable joining this board. I know without a doubt that whatever path leads you to motherhood that will be one incredibly lucky child to have you as a mom.
I am 13.3. I am doing my first IVF cycle this month and was given 25-50% chance of success. My RE says age is on my side - I am 37 (which I thought was old, but appartently my RE thinks it is better than say 42).
I was very discouraged about our odds. I feel like we are spending a lot of money for no guarantee. I decided to go ahead with this first IVF. If it isn't successful, I may go ahead and push for DE. I would rather spend more and increase my odds of success.
My DH feels that we can try multiple times and eventually it will happen. But I am the pessimist - I told him that there are couples that it never works for - that could be us. We are total Ying and Yang.
Good luck.
Sorry to hear about all the numbers stuff from the RE. I will continue to pray for lots of success on your road to a baby!
Adoption miracles are great too! A few days ago a nurse from the post partum unit in my hospital came to get some narcotics, we keep stronger stuff on our unit. She said they need to help this new mom sleep, she just gave up her baby. She told me about the adoptive parents and how wonderful they are and how they haven't been able to conceive on their own. It warmed my heart that a woman was so selfless to give her child up (for whatever reasons) to a couple who wanted but was unable to have children & has now made a family.