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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
slhartzke
member
MIL ? How do I handle this?
slhartzke
member
My MIL watches our baby girl 3 days a week while my husband and I work for 6-8 hours. Last week she decided she needed a car seat and a stroller for herself to go out and about with the baby, which my husband and I nixed and told her to just take our family car with all our gear, and I drive her car to work.
Well, the more and more I am thinking about it, I am having issues with her taking my almost 9 month old out and about, where does she REALLY need to go? She does not work the other days of the week. And why does she need to bring my baby with her to go out? I could understand maybe when my daughter gets older and walking and more active, maybe going to the park, but besides that I feel like every time they get in the car is another chance to get in a car accident ( i have lost too many loved ones this way 
! )
Does anyone else have this issue? How should I handle it?
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Re: MIL ? How do I handle this?
My MIL watched DS for us along with our 3 nieces so she rarely takes all 4 kids places just by herself. However we bought a car-seat for her vehicle just in case. There have been times that she has brought DS to me at work as she had some running around to do once I got off work and didn't want me to have to drive to her house when she had to just come down the street from my work (saves me a 10 - 15 minute drive with traffic) There have been a few times when my FIL is off work that they will take the kids to the Zoo. I feel better knowing that if she needed to get out of the house for something that she can and he is safe in a seat I approve of.
Has she told you where she would like to be able to take you LO? Is she just trying to get out of the house? Maybe she would like to take your LO and go and walk the mall, or to a park?
Can't you or your husband ask her what she needs it for? Where she would be taking LO? I would tell her that you would rather she stay at home with the baby when watching her if possible, but if you want someone who is never going to leave with LO you are better off with another daycare provider.
I don't think having a stroller and car seat is too much of a request. What if some kind of emergency arises? She should at least have a car seat. I highly recommend the Cosco Scenera if you don't want to put forth a lot of money for a car seat that is not going to be used that often. I bought mine on sale at Kmart for $39 and have been using it for 4 months with no problems.
I understand where you're coming from, but if your MIL is watching your LO three days a week for you it's not fair to expect her to stay home all day just because you're "uncomfortable" with the thought of her being out and about.
And fwiw, I would be ecstatic if my MIL offered to buy a second carseat for DS. Instead, she thinks I'm way too overprotective for insisting that DS always ride in his. Needless to say, she doesn't get to watch him three days a week!
Honestly, I think you are being a bit weird. It sounds like she doesn't plan on going out every day she watches her, but I don't see a problem with her taking her out to lunch every once in a while.
I would feel the same way! Why don't you just tell her you would rather her not take LO out ALL the time-- like if she has an appt or something one day than you would switch cars-- that way it isn't like she can just pick up and go when ever she pleases. And you would know where they are going.
I FLIPPED the time I had to go to the ER and MIL drove and met my mom for DS's pedi appt-- She than proceded to take DS to her mom's--
To pedi and back is 5 min away- her mom is another 1/2 hour--
AND this is the same lady that took niece out and couldn't figure out how to get the carseat latched to the base so she STILL went and sat in the back with her "so if they were in an accident she could HOLD onto the seat--" Ya and that is NOT A LIE... and 100% true..
THE ONLY reason we let her take DS is because it was an emergency and Pedi didn't have any openings for A LONG time and DS HAD to have shots- and DH put DS in the car and my mom knew how to work the carseat so I knew he would at least be buckled in properly going to and from pedi--- but than she just takes him over her moms..
LOL okay rant done... but I know what you mean, hopefully this helped-
I really think you're going overboard here. If MIL is watching your child for free 3 times a week, then she should be able to go out and about if she needs/wants to. Jay is almost 9 months, and I NEED to get out with him at times, even if it is just to drive to the park to take a walk. One day he was so fussy that I had to take him to Walmart because it was too cold to do anything else.
Unless your MIL is a terrible driver and someone that you wouldn't get in the car with, then throw some trust her way and let her drive your kid around. Part of it is probably just that she wants to get out, but I'm sure she wants to show off her grandbaby.
MIL watches DD every day for 10 hours a day. She stays inside all the time and I tell her that she needs to get out. I hate that MIL feels she needs to be locked indoors. She's a safe driver and DD is a wonderful passenger (never cries in the car).
She has taken her out maybe 2 times in the past 4 months to her mother's house (DD's great-grandmom).