Ever feel you're being tested?

MoFree · January 2010

I can't shake today's self-pitying mode. I feel that I, and so many wonderful people on here, are being tested to see how much we can endure. DH and I went through a very painful, difficult period where I was not sure the relationship would survive. We went to both individual and couples therapy, worked out the issues that were blocking our relationship, were looking forward to a wonderful future where he was going to start a wonderful job, I just graduated with a masters and looking forward to starting a career as a nurse practitioner, we were going to start IVF in the spring and our relationship was renewed and revitalived.

Then some bimbo who couldn't wait for the light to turn red or pull over to the side to pick up a text that probably read "cya l8r," "idk" or "k" ruined everything and our future doesn't look as promising as it did pre-December 17. I don't know what the test is or what I have to do to pass but it sucks right now.

Anyone else feel this way?

madelyn07 · January 2010

Yes, absolutely. While DH and I, thankfully, have not had to endure anything that serious, events in my life have caused me to wonder "why me?" or "how much can I take?".

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this and having such a rough time. Life can certainly be difficult and it is really too bad that things like that accident have to happen.

Ginger71 · January 2010

Oh yes! I know you have been through a lot with your DH recently and I can't compare but I have had some serious health issues. I had a really bad 4 year flare up of Crohn's disease. I was in and out of the hosptial and having surgery. I was out of work for nearly a year in 2007. I started seeing a Dr. in NYC in 2008 and I got into remission. By then, I was 37 and we are having no luck having a baby.

I had some really dark days when I was sick. I was in pain and at times, I wasn't sure I wanted to live. I was sure once I got better that life would be perfect. I had suffered enough! I felt the same way after my miscarriage,too but we still can't get pregnant.

I defintiely feel like I am being tested but I don't want to know how much more I can handle.

Hugs to you and I hope your DH is doing ok.

Temp893722312503334 · January 2010

I do know that feeling. I am sorry that you are dealing with so much more than the IF right now. I can't even imagine.

(((hugs)))

DinaLINY · January 2010

yes, I have often thought of it that way. a good friend once said to me "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" - she said this while dealing with her husband's lymphoma (he recovered thank goodness!). At first I thought to myself, but why would God want my sweet friend to suffer so much? but then I saw the bigger picture. we become stronger when dealing with life's trials and tribulations.

eta: i also want to add that I think you are very brave and I admire you! I know I don't know you, but I have read all your updates and you really are handling all this very well.

continued prayers for your husband's recovery!

Me&Mr.T · January 2010

All of the time. I get chronic kidney stones, I have asthma and allergies, and now I'm dealing with IF and cysts too. I've struggled with other health issues too.

I feel like I can't get ahead anywhere. I have an undergrad degree and earned it when the job market crashed so the jobs in that field were gone. Now I have a cert in elementary ed and I'm so scared I won't find anything beyond subbing day to day.

I just feel like it isn't fair... that I've been through enough. I don't understand why it is all getting piled on me. Doesn't it need to fall somewhere else too? Like even distribution instead of piling it all on me and on you wonderful ladies who are dealing with IF as well?

MoFree · January 2010

DinaLINY:

yes, I have often thought of it that way. a good friend once said to me "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" - she said this while dealing with her husband's lymphoma (he recovered thank goodness!). At first I thought to myself, but why would God want my sweet friend to suffer so much? but then I saw the bigger picture. we become stronger when dealing with life's trials and tribulations.

I'm not sure that I believe that God only gives us what we can endure. However, I do believe that even most painful situations that challenge us to the core have the possibility for growth, where we become stronger and gain perspective. However, I'm not at that stage right now.

So glad to hear your friend's husband has made a full recovery.

BenandDina · January 2010

Oh, Molly, I'm so sorry you're feeling so poorly today. Sometimes, we do feel like we're being tested, and it's awful. No one will ever be able to tell you why your DH was in a car accident, but thankfully, he lived, and hopefully, will be on a path to recovery (slow, I know, but hopefully, a sure path). It's impossible to know why bad things happen to good people, but know that you're thought of with love and worry and care in this process, draw on all of your supports, and it is my utmost hope that you and Jason will go on to be parents and to put this awful chapter of suffering behind you.

njdcgirl · January 2010

BenandDina:
Oh, Molly, I'm so sorry you're feeling so poorly today. Sometimes, we do feel like we're being tested, and it's awful. No one will ever be able to tell you why your DH was in a car accident, but thankfully, he lived, and hopefully, will be on a path to recovery (slow, I know, but hopefully, a sure path).

Very well said! Mo - I know you are struggling now, but personally I have admired your strength during this horrible time. I pray that things continue to improve for you and DH. ((HUGS))

Me&Mr.T · January 2010

By the way... my prayers are constantly with you. I am so heartbroken that you are dealing with this!

kthappy76 · January 2010

"...a good friend once said to me "God doesn't give us more than we can handle"

Nice adage, but God is apparently completely unaware that I am worn out from all of his previous and ongoing tests... Medicine's answer to this is psychotropic meds...

perry7285 · January 2010

just wanted to send a hug and say i'm sorry you're going through all of this. (((hugs)))

Echloe · January 2010

Yes. I even take it to another level and think that people in my life are put here as obstacles (I know it is self-centered). But I think having all these friends easily pump out several kids whenever the crap they want, or get the job I want, or the house I want, are just little tests for me to see if I can get past the jealousy and see the good things in my life.

jehnm · January 2010

I notice that a lot of us on here do seem to go through one thing after another and then when you factor in the constant roller coaster ride of IF that really adds up. I absolutely know that I'm being tested. To follow up on the God doesn't give thing... I saw a sign in a winery that said, "God doesn't give you more than you, but I sure wish He didn't think I was so strong". Do I think God planned for your husband's accident, absolutely not, I think He allowed free will on behalf of that other driver who made a very stupid mistake that harmed someone else a great deal. Hopefully that has caused her to wake up!

I keep remembering how much Job was tested in the bible and then what his rewards were at the end. I can only hope that we will each receive the same as we endure all of our challenges!

cjdub13 · January 2010

I am so sorry you are going through all this. ?I pray for a speedy recovery for your DH and that you continue to be a strong woman during all this.

After this last BFN my husband said to me, "baby, we have a good life together, we have jobs in a time where people are struggling, we have food, shelter, family and friends, and we are in good health, we have to be thankful for what we have and stop thinking so much about what we don't have (baby). ?It really made me stop and think.

?

curlygurl · January 2010

I've been following your story on here and can't imagine what you've been going through. I'm sure that all the emotions you are feeling are totally normal. I'm not sure if this helps or not, but just so you know...

Since I first read your story and found out how your DH was injured, I've been SUPER aware of being a distracted driver. I've never been much of a text-driver, but do admit to checking texts that would come in while I was driving. Well, not any more! Because of all that you and DH have been through, I think I've become a better, more attentive driver and I think about you and your DH every time I even consider picking up my phone while driving. So hopefully, you can find some comfort in knowing that out of this horrible situation, some good has come...I think I'm a better and more aware driver now because of you and your DH...total strangers to me! And hopefully, because of this, some other family can be spared the experience that you've had to endure.

Take good care of yourself.

wiscgirl95 · January 2010

MoFree:
DinaLINY:

yes, I have often thought of it that way. a good friend once said to me "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" - she said this while dealing with her husband's lymphoma (he recovered thank goodness!). At first I thought to myself, but why would God want my sweet friend to suffer so much? but then I saw the bigger picture. we become stronger when dealing with life's trials and tribulations.

I'm not sure that I believe that God only gives us what we can endure. However, I do believe that even most painful situations that challenge us to the core have the possibility for growth, where we become stronger and gain perspective. However, I'm not at that stage right now.

So glad to hear your friend's husband has made a full recovery.

This. You will get there, you just have to give yourself time.

Sometimes I think I'm being tested but usually I just think that I'm having a cr*ppy day, month, year, etc and there is nothing I can do about it except move forward. Obviously I have my moments/days where I cry, scream, pout and mope. I do know that some of the recent events in my life (including IF) have made me a stronger person. I'm more sensitive, tolerant and infinitely more patient. The "spoiled brat" party of my personality has definitely been knocked down a few notches. Even on my lowest days I try to count my blessings. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you, but lean on whatever support is available to you and give yourself time. None of this is fair and I'm so sorry.

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