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Parenting
goodheartedmommy
member
Is it "legal" to slap a child across the face?
goodheartedmommy
member
in Parenting
Forget about the baseboard washing, how has this not been brought up?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is it "legal" to slap a child across the face?
Hope so. Called my mom a b*tch when I was about 13 and got smacked for it.
One of maybe 4 times she ever "laid a hand" on me. I so deserved that LOL
Kori--I did the same thing when I was 16...also got slapped pretty dang hard....and I totally deserved it!
GHM--I'm guessing its considered corporal punishment and as long as there isn't a mark, its no different than spanking??? Who knows though.
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I don't think so, my friend's dad did in high school and social services was there very quickly. He left a mark so the school got involved.
One thing that I have realized on the Nest, people don't always think the law applies to them and their parenting. Leaving your child in the car alone is also illegal and lots of people stand behind doing that.
not one parent in my little neighborhood was ever arrested, I can vouch for that. My friends who were slapped weren't slapped a lot -- but I've seen it firsthand, so the parent wasn't shy about it.
Raises hand.... me too. Although I was back handed with her ring hand and her ring caught my eye in a weird way and gave me a black eye.
I don't think she ever slapped me other than that time. Not that I can remember anyway. She liked to throw things....lol.
I just don't understand how it should be legal?
If anyone else besides a parent slapped anyone else besides their child, it would definitely be illegal. Why are 'parents' above this law???
My mom threw her shoes. I swear those suckers could and did turn corners. It didn't do anything except make us laugh.
Beth I can't believe this! You and your mom seem so close and she doesn't seem like she would do that! You must have really had it coming!
Oh, I did. I was a wild child as a young teen. We were even close then, but I remember the day like yesterday. We were in the car too, so it wasn't a "clean" slap for her. She has mellowed out a lot since then.
Well, it probably varies by state.
Technically, it is the tort of battery [harmful or offensive conduct w/ the plaintiff's person], and it fits the criminal common law definition of battery as well if it's "unlawful" [unlawful is a requirement in the criminal common law rule].
And, according to my notes, if the victim is a child, the modern statutory approach is to make it "aggravated assault/battery."
SO! You're all going to jail if you hit your kids.
Without looking past the black letter law that I am currently studying for the MBE of the bar exam [nice choice today on topics, btw, I'm studying crim law/crim pro today], my guess would be that there is some type of case law/common law that leaves spanking/hitting as punishment [and not to an abusive level] in the hands of the family. I mean, I could be wrong, but I think there are laws that specifically make hitting your wife illegal. Historically, men were allowed to hit their wives, and it wasn't covered under the typical laws. There are a lot of really outdated laws on every state's books still.
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one time my friend and our families were out for dinner. we were 13 or so. our parents continued eating and we went outside the restaurant to dance on the docks as the restaurant was on the water. It was still light out. I believe we were dancing to "White Line."
some dude offered us a ride on his boat and we DID IT. we went out with some strange creepy dude on his speedboat.
When we got back, our parents were waiting for us. I got grounded. My friend got slapped in the face, hard. I felt awful for her.
Another time I was at the same friend's kitchen table. I burped really, really loud. My friend's mother turned around and slapped my friend in the face. She had NO idea why!!! I felt even worse -- bc it was ME who burped. Her mother reluctantly apologized and we all laughed.
what can I tell you, I grew near people who got the belt, the hand, the spoon and the brush. My parents rarely spanked us though I got it good once for not paying attention in the street.
Also, to add - it becomes an issue of whether you can actually prove this sort of thing if it happens in the home, plus over running to court's docket.
I mean, it could be illegal, but the reality is how would you prosecute it?
No, but I also wouldn't stand for it if my husband told me when I could and could not go out, grounded me, or made other rules that I was forced to follow. He's not an authority over me, but my parents were.
GHM, it's funny - I often disagree w/ you when it comes to comments about spanking. We don't do it, but I feel like it's not my business if other's do.
HOWEVER, I do agree that I am surprised people are saying they deserved that. My mom slapped me in the face a few times, when I was a teenager, and I always think it was so horrible and I didn't deserve it. She's a rager, though. I try to do the opposite of what she did as a parent, when it comes to punishment. She was good at a lot of parenting things, but not punishment.
I just don't think slapping someone is ever deserved.
Was it the right thing for her to do? Obviously not. It was a knee-jerk reaction on her part, we both knew it. She felt awful, and so did I. Did I deserve it? Uh, yeah. Could she have handled it better? Uh, yeah.
the time my mom hit me with a brush on the head, I do not feel I deserved it -- my sister screamed at my mother for doing it. my mother had started going through menopause and was doing weird stuff during that incident.
but the time I almost got hit by a car and got smacked in the butt -- yes, I deserved it. It was a wake-up call bc up until then I don't think I understood that someone could be hurt by a car...no matter how many times my mother explained it or yelled. I felt my mother's fear and understood. The spanking itself didn't hurt. I got her emotional message LOUD and clear: she spanked me to get it through my thick frigging head that if I died needlessly b/c of a car, it would kill both her and me.
Always nice to hear a good CPS story. I feel like all the stories are about how they drop the ball.
I'm also saddened that people think it's OK or that they deserved it. This whole parenting by intimidation thing is just BS. And I say that as a yeller (in recovery
). It's just not OK to hit or repeatedly yell at your children. It's mean and if you seriously do it as a conscious, deliberate thing then stop being such a bully!
That is just a personal example I could pull out many more if we talked about work. During my internship(s) I worked at elementary schools to satisfy my counseling hours and you bet your hiney if you slapped your child and I caught wind of it there would be action taken.
My mother slapped me across the face when I was 15 ....I called her a ***. I slapped her right back.
I would never ever EVER slap someone across the face. EVER!!! And my child --- NEVER! It is THE most disrespectful thing you could ever do, IMO. Well, spitting in someone's face is a close second --- but yea, slapping someone. There are no words.
Do I think my mom was wrong for slapping? Yes. But do I understand why she did -- yes.
I was slapped and hit with a wooden spoon and spanked.
Thing is, right or wrong, my parents learned from their parents and so on. It wasn't abusive to me. I wasn't hit randomly for no reason, tied up and burned with cigarettes, but if I got out of line I was punished that way.
Did it fully work, of course not otherwise I wouldn't have gotten hit with the spoon again.
My parents were wonderful and their way of discipline did not scar me at all or require therapy.
I just feel that they learned from their parents. All my cousins grew up with parents that spanked. And my parents and their parents were spanked.
Its just that now our generation has more information and more sense than to just follow the actions of our parents blindly unless we choose to do so.
And frankly there's some kids that just deserve a good crack on the butt for some things, lol.