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Single Parents
Just need some help...
Hi!
I don't really belong on this board but I figured you ladies might be able to hel me out..
I'm in the 1st tri right now and I'm happily married, however my dad treats me like I'm a single 15 yr. old pregnant woman. He keeps telling me, "get rid of it" "your not ready"..mind you, both my husband and I have good jobs, we aren't rich, but we live happily, and I'm 23 years old and married.
Yes the pregnancy was an 'oops' but it's here and we are thrilled!
How to deal with dad?!?!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just need some help...
My God Lailas!!! I was thinking the EXACT same thing!! I just typed up a really snarky comment and then deleted it thinking I was being overly sensitive.
WTF? I don't even know what else to say........
If your going to be 23, married and living your own life you have to decide who is in it and how your going to let them treat you.
You either have to cut your ties with him, or deal with his behavior. He's not going to change until he wants to.
I am with you! I certainly wasn't 15 unmarried and pregnant! I haven't had an unplanned pregnancy either, so how should I know what to do?
I am with you! I certainly wasn't 15 unmarried and pregnant! I haven't had an unplanned pregnancy either, so how should I know what to do?
Actually the point was, my dad is treating me like a 'SINGLE PARENT' and the 15 yr old comment was just an added description...this is the single parents board right??
Sorry if it's offensive, but I just wanted to hear how others may have reacted to their parents being upset about their child being a single parent.
If your married, your not a single parent, so what would it matter how a parent reacted about their child being a single parent?
I think there are some details left out, I can tell by your siggie that your h is military.
Is it possible that your father is concerned about the fact that you just got married, your h is military and you are already pregnant. The military lifestyle is not the easiest, though every person has their own way of dealing with it.
What happens if your h is deployed and you have to go X amount of time without being around him, while raising your child on your own. You would temporarily be a single parent.
Talking to your dad, or completely ignoring him, are the only things that are going to fix this.
Well he keeps saying things to me like I'm a single parent, it's like he forgets i'm married.
My H finished his time in the military about a year ago, he has a great job now that he is out.
It's just that I'm baffled at his reaction..thats all..
Thanks though!
I have no words... Really? I think you have no grasp on what being a single mom is and with that, No you do NOT belong here. God forbid something happens and you do end up as a single parent. What would you do then?
As far as your dad is concerned, put your big girl panties on and talk to him like an adult. I mean, you are trying to prove to him you are one, no?
OBVIOUSLY, that's why I put the disclaimer in there.. But to answer your question, if I did become a single parent..I'd be fine, I have a great career..But I'm not sure you understand my question..hmmmm
Why is everyone so sensitive about this? If your all so proud and doing wonderful as a single parent, why must you attack a simple question and constantly try to rationalize and defend your current situation? Who said it was negative? Not me!
I just want to know how your parents reacted to you being a single parent, since my father is currently treating me like one..SHEESH!
First of when did I ever say I was proud to be a single parent? While I wont talk for the rest of the girls on this board I will say becoming a single parent has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I did not ask or want to be put in this situation, but life happens. I will say that I am a proud mom as any other mom whether single or married should be. I think it is insensative to come on here and complain to us about you father treating you in a way you don't like. I think your question would be much better suited for the one of the tri-boards. Also, why would the way my family treated me be a way to compare your situation? My family didn't treat me differently because they knew I could handle being a parent let alone a single parent. They knew I was willing and did give up everything to be the best mom I could and can be to my DDs. Perhaps the bigger issue is why does you father not feel you are ready to have a child?
Wow, people. Okay, yeah, I am no longer a single parent, and I was just snooping, but dang. I don't think she meant it in a snooty way, higher than type attitude. I think that she is just young, and inexperienced, and maybe knows that single moms are the strongest people on earth, and if she can turn to anyone, it would be you guys. Instead of putting up a wall, open up, and let her in, and just share your advice with her. She obviously needs someone to talk to. And I don't mean to be old school, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.
But in response to the post- Just tell your dad that you are a adult, and you going to have this baby, and love he/she to the fullest. You will not be the perfect mother, no one ever is, but you will love this baby like no one else can. This is a gift, and don't let anyone try to rain on your parade! Celebrate, and just pray for the nay sayers. And God will handle the rest! GL! Being a mother is the most rewarding gift in life! Just you wait!
?
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. That is all.
It's not about putting up a wall Mary Poppins, it's about respecting ourselves and our circumstances and expecting other people to do the same. THE POINT is that it is rude and stereotypical to assume that we would have advice to offer in this situation. She isn't a single mom...and apparently being treated like one is a problem to her. It assumed support for her dad treating her like she is poor, 15 and incapable of being a parent. It involves a lot of pretty nasty assumptions about us, or circumstances, and how we ended up here. It is about not setting a standard that this board is the place to come when you need advice on a jacked up situation because CLEARLY we can all relate.?
And I don't mean to be old school, but spare me.
?
Even YOU felt the need to explain your former single parent status like that gives you some type of credibility.?
Thumbs down.
Then YOU answer all of her questions in the future Sister Mary whatever your name is, and spare the rest of us.?
Um, yeah. You're 23, married and having a child. Tell your dad to like it or lump it. You're an adult so who cares what he thinks or says? That's all between you and your husband. Fwiw, I got no comments like that from my mom or anyone else (other than my sister at first) -- they were all very happy and excited about a new baby and knew I was more than capable of taking care of her. I think you (or your dad) might have bigger issues if he's giving you such grief. GL.
LoL @ Mary Poppins
Now I'm going to have "chim-chimeny chim-chimeny chim-chim-cheroo" stuck in my head all day!
Thank you! and YES I do think single parents are the strongest in the world..my mom has been a single parent since I was 4, her and my dad are divorced, so for anyone to think I was doing anything else except for asking for help..they are nuts!
Also, your response made me feel so much better, dad has been coming around the past few days, and I'm hoping that by the time the baby comes everything will be the way I want it in terms of my family reaction.
THANKS!
Lailasmom must have something to prove to the world! You need to relax and stop taking a small comment into something personal. No one is out to get you, especially me.
You should be proud, and you say you are, so show it rather than trying to justify.
btw..I'm a dressage rider, I just started jumping last summer, I love it, but I think dressage is more my forte!