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Baby Showers
jolibebe
member
Hostess suggested something I'm not comfortable with, help please!
jolibebe
member
in Baby Showers
My out of town family is throwing us a couples shower. The hostess and I discussed the invitation wording and all was fine. But then, she came up with an idea DH and I don't think is right. At the bottom of the invite was going to read "Registered at BRU". Hostess thinks that certain guests would rather show up and give cash to help us out, especially if they don't have time or want to shop at BRU. She wants to add "Wishing Well." And she wants to put a wishing well somewhere at the shower. Are DH and I wrong in thinking this is not right? We don't want people to feel pressured to give us money and I'm worried that's how it will be perceived. Also, this is not a wedding where people give cash or check. Is this done? Have any of you done this at your shower, having it at your shower? What is the etiquette? Are we being too sensitive?
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Re: Hostess suggested something I'm not comfortable with, help please!
I HATE wishing wells, but around here, they are not for money, they are for small gifts that cost less than $10. For a baby shower, you would see items like a pack of pacifiers, a pack of wipes, teething rings (do they stilll make those???), small toys, etc. People have them for bridal showers too - people give cleaning supplies, paper products, whatever. They usually aren't wrapped or identify who gave it and its not "expected" that guests bring something.
With respect to money, I was surprised (pleasantly) that we received quite a few checks for our baby shower. We also received a lot of BRU gift cards. I'm not usually a fan, but it was nice to be able to get the things that we are going to need right away and some bigger items that we planned on buying ourselves.
If your guests are going to percieve a whishing well as a request for cash, I would tell your hostess that it makes you uncomfortable. If a guest doesn't have the time to go out and buy a gift, they'll give you a check or cash in a card without being told its ok on the invite. Its just not necessary and you don't want to be perceived as fishing for monetary gifts.
People know inherently that they can give cash insetad of a gift. They don't need to be TOLD this.
To list wishing well or to have one means "give money ON TOP of the gift you bought".
Tacky.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
And for the record, I think wishing wells are tacky at wedding events too.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
You and DH are 100% right. This idea is totally unacceptable. If someone wants to give you a GC or even cash, they will. The entire meaning of a shower is to "shower" the mom-to-be with gifts. Therefore, you have a registry of the things you need and like that people can choose from or, if they don't feel like making the trip, they will give you a cash or check. Either way, you should be grateful for what you get.
*UPDATE*
I e-mailed the hostess and she called. We talked it over and I talked her out of the idea and she is okay with no wishing well. Thank goodness that's over with!