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3rd Trimester
MrsHK
member
If this was a surprise pregnancy for you...
MrsHK
member
will LO know that someday? I mean like a truly unplanned, unexpected pregnancy, not just 'wow, we got pregnant on the 1st try'.
DH and I were discussing this earlier. He is horrified by the thought that DS2 might someday know he was a surprise. (I was nursing and on BCP). I don't see the big deal. One, plenty of people know this and I don't see no one joking about it or saying something within earshot of DS2 someday. Two, just because he was a surprise doesn't make him any less wanted or loved. Sure he came a good year before we intended to TTC again, but it just proves he came on God's time and not ours.
Of course this comes from someone who was the one planned pregnancy in my family. I certainly had a good time rubbing that in my brothers' face. I wasn't the oldest or the youngest but I knew I was the only one who had been planned.
Proverbs 12:10 "A righteous man cares for the needs of his animals
ChipMonkey 3/19/08 *** Turtle 1/26/10 *** CarBear 10/06/11
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Re: If this was a surprise pregnancy for you...
Well our LO was/is our honeymoon baby. We totally werent expecting her but we most definatley don't consider her a "mistake" or an "oopsie" if she asks, we will tell her that we weren't planning on having a little one right away, but God had a better idea. . and that we liked his idea better
And thats TOTALLY true
Well seeing as she'll be at our wedding, she'll probably have a few questions...
Someone recently asked me if I would change when I got pregnant. I can honestly say that I can't imagine not having her when I'm having her. Sure she was unexpected, but never unwanted or unloved. She's definitley an unexpected blessing.
They'll know anyways. We aren't married. We haven't even been together for a long time. We couldn't even hide it if we wanted, not that we want too. While they were unexpected, it was a wonderful surprise and I am truly grateful for them.
A brilliant person once said, "Life happens when you're busy making other plans." And that is SO true.
We'll tell them exactly that while they were a surprise, it was a lovely one. Love is all that matters not how they came to be.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
well considering she was 6 months old when we got married...I guess she'll probably figure it out. we were engaged, for like 2 years before we got married, we didn't get married because of her.
we always wanted her, she just came sooner than we expected.we definitely planned on kids.
My DH was an oops... his parents got married in January and had him in May...I'm not sure if he really ever cared knowing.
We weren't TTC yet by any means, but we didn't prevent this in any way. We happened to get "lucky" and get pg on our very first "we probably shouldn't have done that" moment. Having a child was definitely on our To Do list, just not quite this soon. We had already established our wedding date as this October and made a conscious decision not to change it, as we did not want to appear as though the pregnancy caused our marriage.
I'm of the mindset that everything happens for a reason. We're very happy that Max decided to happen
We will be open with LO about it. DH and I were not in the greatest place when we found out and She has brought us back together and gotten our arses in gear. If she had not come along we would not of worked through all the silly things that were getting in between us and stopping us from moving forward.
My Blog
I'm not pregnant yet, but wanted to tell you my opinion from the point of the view of the child.
My mom was not married when she had my sister. But she was still with my sister's father after the birth. They got in a fight, she slept with his best friend, and whoops. Got pregnant with me. Talk about unexpected! Then she gave birth to me. I was put up for adoption and the papers had been signed since the middle of the pregnancy. When my mom had me the adoptive couple were unable to get to the hospital. The hospital refused to hold me there and released me with my mom [now single with a 2 year old and a newborn that she didn't want]. I had to stay with my mom that night. The next day the adoptive couple picked me up. My sister cried. My mom cried. My mom watched the movie Norma Rae and decided she needed to stand up for herself. She called my grandma saying she wanted me back. My grandma worked for a lawyer who pulled some strings and somehow they caught up with the couple and I at the airport or something and got me back.
I knew all this since I was a little girl. My grandma was appalled. "Why did you tell your daughter how she was conceived and that you didn't want her?" I felt so special that she fought for me, even though she was young and single and didn't know if she could do it. I was a surprise, not a mistake. So yes, I would tell my child.
Proud Mama to Mickey (12.03.09) and Nemo (06.06.13)
haha, well our "oops" story is hilarious to DH and I and shows that Caity was God's plan, so when she is younger we will tell her she wasn't an accident or a mistake, she just showed up a little earlier than expected.
and then we she is old enough to understand we'll tell her the whole story. How we tried and tried as hard as possible for a year and were never successful, but the very first month we decided to TTA instead of TTC because of some timing issues with school... BAM, BFP! Literally, a full year of doing everything and we never got pregnant, and then one night we got caught up in the moment and forgot the condom, and even though i didn't ovulate until like 6 days later we wound up with our Caity Bug.
She will also hear about the amazing experience i had in church 3 days before i got the BFP. The reason we had to decided to TTA for a while was so that I would not give birth during my last semester of nursing school because i was afraid i couldn't do it. Well the sunday before i found out i was KU, God spoke to me and gave me peace and told me that when the time was right i would have my baby and i didn't need to worry, just allow him to move in our lives. At the time, i thought that He was telling me that DH and i should just "let what happens happen" abd just believe in Him. Come to find out i was already pregnant, and God was just preparing me for finding out that my "plan" was already shot to hell, lol
I see no problem with telling your little one, although I really never wanted to know from my own parents rather I was planned or not. But my story of conception is worth telling my little one ... ( once they become teens )...lol..
(I'm lurking. I'll be joining the 3rd tri board on Saturday!) I have thought about this too. My pregnancy was a complete unplanned surprise. I think it's something we might tell DD when she is older if it comes up but we don't want her to grow up knowing we didn't mean to have her. I mean, really, come to think of it- I don't even know if my parents planned me or not. But anyway- we don't plan to tell her. If it ever comes up, we'll see what happens.
This is totally us!
I do not mind telling LO she was unplanned once she is old enough to know about the birds and the bees. My mom had me when she was 14. At one point she had an abortion scheduled for me, but couldn;t go through with it. Knowing all the crap and hardship she went through with me kinda makes me feel more loved. She sacrificed a lot for me (uncluding SR prom... yep, who was sick!). I wasn;t planned but she always did the best she could to love me.
LO knowing her conception may be a good lesson to learn too. I honestly think I was one of the those weird cases that got pregnant while on their period. Dr had a hard time figuring out our EDD. (Its a long story!) At least our baby girl will know to always have protected sex, cause ya never know whats gonna happen.
And last point to this ramble - this unexpected bundle has been amazing for DH and I. Okay, so we had only been together for 9 months when we got pregnant, but it has brought us so much closer together. It was rough in the begining. Very emotional times for me and he got me through. He was planning on proposing in August, but we just moed everything up and were married in July. I have no regrets about any of it.
I was a surprise and I knew, my parents told me one day it was 4th of July weekend and they were camping, and it poured out so they were stuck in the camper all weekend with nothing to do and no protection since my older sisters were there, so dad didn't think he'd get any so at night after the kids went to sleep my parents got busy! lol
Also I have a stepson, he's 17 and DH is 36... he's known for a while that he was a super surprise. He actually asked DH once if they thought about their "options" and they had the discussion since there was a chance my stepson wouldn't be here today but in the end obviously they decided against it. I don't think its a bad thing in either case.
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a1ae8.aspx[/img][/url]
If she finds out, she finds out. I don't think its a big deal. Everyone knows we didn't plan this so it might come out at some point. It doesn't mean we love her any less.
My pregnancy was totally unplanned! and I will tell Axel when he's older. I had never planned on having children...EVER! I never wanted kids and honestly, don't even like them. Now though, I'm excited to have him. He's made me slow down and rearrange my life....for the better! He wasn't planned but he IS wanted!
This for us too but we were already married. We were planning on trying this coming fall - but I agree, everything happens for a reason. He won't be any less loved because we weren't planning on him, we are excited & so are our families.
Since I was almost 6 months pregnant when we got married, I am pretty sure LO will figure out the math, so there will be no reason in lying. It wasn't DH and my first time together when we made LO, but we definitely weren't planning on it! I was on the pill, never missed, wasn't on medication, etc. Possibly just a bad batch. Dunno. But God had plans for us that we didn't know about!
We were planning on getting pregnant, just a year from when it happened. So I won't ever let my LO feel like she was "unwanted" or "unplanned." She was just an early surprise!
"Surprise" doesn't even cut it. Munchkin was conceived with an IUD in--I laugh out loud at all the books that claim it's "as close as possible to sterilization," as my belly would prove otherwise! Ha!
But he's as loved as loved can be, and has been since we first found out about him, and I don't see any point in trying to hide that fact that he wasn't planned. I mean, the kid's going to find out anyway. There will be photos of him at our wedding reception in May when he's 2 months! We were planning on getting married in May (right after DH graduates from med school), but when we found out about LO this summer, we just did the formal legal marriage right away. He's always going to know the dates, and see the pictures, and hopefully be able to laugh about how his compulsive, anal-retentive, thoroughly-"planning"-parent-types were caught off-guard by his arrival.
I hope when he's older, he'll be proud of his parents for choosing to keep him, and for feeling so much joy about becoming a family.
Well, it depends on how you frame it!
Calling it an "oops" or an "accident" sounds extremely negative. But a "surprise" - that's a wonderful thing! We were surprised by this pregnancy (ha - birth control doesn't always work!) But she was NO accident or mistake - she is a blessing!