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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
MsMoseley
member
having a child changed my outlook on how many I want..
MsMoseley
member
I went through so much after having Max, that I dont even want to think about another baby, atleast until he is in 1st grade....The thought of getting pregnant in the next two years scares me...lol....am I the only one who feels this way?
God I hope not......
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Re: having a child changed my outlook on how many I want..
I'm right there with you! I keep telling DH that LO will be an only child...for some reason DH doesn't believe me-LOL
They say you get some sort of amnesia which makes you forget all the rough things you went through, but I just don't think I'm that forgetfull!
We wanted 2.
Now we are only having 1.
If I had another I'd commit myself to an asylum.
Seriously, having a child absolutely changed my mind about how many children I want! I think we all know it's going to be a lot of work, but you really have no idea until you have a child. I love my girls, but I used to want 4 kids. NO WAY! I think that if I have 4 kids, I won't be able to be the best mom I can be and still be able to do the things I want and live my life the way I see us being.. of course it's different for everyone, but for me personally, I don't think I could do it.
So I went from wanting 4, to wanting 2 or maybe 3. DH has always said 2 but he'd be ok with 3. After DD1, who was super colicky and cried all.the.time and didn't sleep for more then 30 mins at a time for the first 3 months, then didn't STTN until 15 months, I knew I'd want 1 more because I'd want her to have a sibling, but I didn't want to go through it again!
You really do forget, and it gets so much better as they get older... but it's still so much work (not in a bad way of course). I want to stay "me" and not lose myself and I feel like if I had more children, I would start to lose myself in a sense. Maybe later, but I would seriously cry if I got PG again anytime soon! I am really scared of that at this point. LOL. I'm on the mini pill but I told DH we're also using other protection until I stop BF and get on a regular pill. I don't want to take any chances at this point!
ETA: I love love love having my girls so close together! If I could do it again, I would absolutely have them this close together again. I like getting the NB stage out of the way as quickly as possible, and I love that they'll be able to play together and have a "built-in playmate" as they get older
I wouldn't have minded having them even closer together!
But more babies anytime soon, that makes me
BFP 5/07 - Kylie born 2/08. BPF 2/09 - Alexandra born 10/09.
TTC since 8/13 - diagnosed difficulty conceiving due to LP defect. Took vitamin B and Vitex Berry to help lengthen.
BFP 2/14 - Missed M/C found at 8.5 weeks. D&C at 9w2d. Partial Molar Pregnancy.
BFP 11/14
My Pregnancy(ies) Blog
This is so true. And, when your "baby" turns 3 and is Mr. Independent (which is how you raised him, so you should be proud) and doesn't even need your help zipping up his jacket anymore you start to feel the ache for that helpless little thing all over again.
I remember telling my mom when DS was a year old "I don't think I could ever have another one. I couldn't love another baby as much as I love him and I couldn't handle two kids!" She told me I'd "just know" when I was ready - and I did.
I wish you luck, ladies!
After I had my first daughter, I seriously thought I was one and done. However, as you can see, things changed! The first year was really hard, but somewhere along the way I changed my mind - I do think you get some type of amnesia where you forget how hard pregnancy, childbirth and the newborn/infancy phase can be.
Having said that, though, we are definitely in the two and through club!
I never really understood peoples need to put a time frame on having a second child? I never really understood the whole "not to far apart" idea. Whats so bad about a 3-5 year difference if it works for you? That being said when they asked me if I wanted my tubes tied I said yes but Dh said wait just in case, though we both agree we only want one.
Everyone is different. I personally don't see the need or have the want for more than one and I'm sick of people telling me, "oh that will change, you say that now but..."
I will never forget that my son didn't sleep his entire first 6 weeks of life, it was an effing nightmare. There is going to be no mommy amnesia for this girl. In fact, every day that goes on makes me realize how 1 is it for me. We still have major sleep issues and there is just no way. I love my son, but he is a mess for sleeping. It has been almost 10 months and I'm still waiting for him to be a good sleeper.
Every time MIL or my mom asks me when we are having the 2nd I just want to explode. I told my mom if she plans on raising the 2nd one from birth I'll have another.
At this rate, DH & I will not be having sexy time until after I go through menopause.
You are decidely not alone.