Can we get serious for a minute?

californiastars · January 2010

How far are you and your DH willing to go to get pregnant? Fertility drugs, iui, ivf?

My H has flat out said, no ivf because insurance doesn't pay for it and he does not see how spending 10-15K on something that is not a guarantee is a wise idea. Of course, this is from the man that said he wants kids, but if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen and it isn't the end of the world. Needless to say, I didn't speak to him for a couple of days after that one.

Anyhoo...we will be trying injections and then iui and be done.

How far will you go before you say enough is enough?

momagain2009 · January 2010

That's where we were a year ago. DH was against seeing an RE and then changed his mind. He didn't want to do the IUI and we have since done 3. We were definitely NOT doing IVF, no way, no how....and now I have an IVF orientation in two weeks.

I think when the dream started getting more out of our reach he was willing to try something new to keep that dream alive.

Good luck!

kathi512 · January 2010

That's a good question. We haven't actually talked that much about it. We got pg 3mo into trying then I m/c'd. Now it's 7mo later & we're TTC again. Right now I'm really just charting, temping, taking OPK's. But I really don't know how far I'd go. I guess I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

Good luck with you. I hope the injections work.

3ltlones · January 2010

If I don't get pregnant on my own there will be nothing else. Apparently with the removal of the fibroid and the size of the internal cut I cannot take fertility drugs. One reason because my uterus cannot handle multiples so they will not willingly put me in that position. Two, because there is a high chance to fibroid will come back soon, they feed on hormones adding more hormones may cause it to grow faster.

cintim · January 2010

Thats a very good question. I'm not sure. DH is willing to do IVF and if that doesn't work adoption. I personally didn't want to go through IVF and thought straight to adoption. Until I watched my IRL best friend have IVF last month and just found out at her sono yesterday she is having twins. Now, I'm thinking if we can afford it (ins only covers diagnosis of IF, no IF Treatments) than we could give it a shot. They now have IVM which is essentially the same cost as an IUI but gives you greater odds so I'm leaning towards that.

Scout05 · January 2010

I think we are willing to go to IVF; if we have another loss, and karoytyping determines there is a translocation going on, we would beg or borrow the money to try for a biological child.

I am also open to adoption, and I think (esp. if we have to go the IVF route) after one healthy baby we might start to look into the possibility.

I just...I can't see letting my last experience being pregnant be a loss, if there is any chance of having a successful pregnancy. I would always wonder "what if" if we didn't exhaust all options.

Sonadora · January 2010

Our insurance doesn't cover IF treatment at all. No drugs, IUI, nothing.

We aren't quite there yet, but we would really have to see what the option is and what it would cost. I'd comfortably say we'd try drugs cause we can pay OOP. I don't know what the cost of IUI is, so I'm not comfrotable saying we'd go there. It's unlikely we'd go with IVF given I know how much that costs.

grr_aargh · January 2010

This is it.

We'll karotype this fetus if we can and see what they say. We might meet with a genetic specialist or an RE depending on the results and see what they say.

But short of an easy solution, our dreams of a larger family are probably over.

KelinandKevin · January 2010

Kelin and Kelin's DH 8 months ago said, "NO WAY" to IVF. However... a year after our m/c and a diagnosis of "F'ed up" has lead us to the point of accepting that IVF is our only choice.

sarahandeddiejune212008 · January 2010

DH said no to medical intervention at first, but we just did our first IUI last weekend. If IUI doesn't work we will be doing IVF. I know it's expensive, but there are places that do "shared risk", which basically means if you don't conceive or if you m/c before 10 weeks you get most of your money back. In our case we would only lose $3000 instead of $15000 ( its a lot of money to lose, but ivf has a 70% success rate).

grr_aargh · January 2010

ambrandau2:

I just...I can't see letting my last experience being pregnant be a loss, if there is any chance of having a successful pregnancy. I would always wonder "what if" if we didn't exhaust all options.

Crying

I know.

shall923 · January 2010

I have no idea. DH never talks about any of it. I don't think he believes there is a problem so no reason to talk about any of that. We have been trying for a year this month with one loss. My dr wants me to start clomid next month because he doesn't think I have ovulated on my own since the loss. I guess we will see what happens after that.

dondraandluis · January 2010

We haven't really decided yet. We probably will not do IVF unless insurance covers it, which I doubt. We definitely cannot afford it. I think we'd probably be willing to try meds and iui at the most. Hopefully we don't have to go that far.

CLAYLIOVER · January 2010

We are all in. Whatever it takes.

denise_m · January 2010

I think we would stop before IUI

Although, I'm not there yet, and it's always easy to say what someone would/wouldn't do when not in that situation

3ltlones · January 2010

grr_aargh:
ambrandau2:

I just...I can't see letting my last experience being pregnant be a loss, if there is any chance of having a successful pregnancy. I would always wonder "what if" if we didn't exhaust all options.

I know.

Exactly this

californiastars · January 2010

I am thinking that the next appointment I have (hello! Anytime now AF) I will go into the member services and ask exactly what insurance covers. I know it covers IUI and injections, but I wonder if it cover any ivf at all.

ShellShockedMama · January 2010

We have thought a lot about this (I mean, I know my current status and all but still, nothing is certain) and we're just not willing to do IVF. It's just too expensive for us.

I would be willing to do IUI and micro IVF which is more along the cost of IUI. But that's it. If that doesn't work, then I feel obviously someone is trying to tell me something. (but I don't apply that logic to anybody but me)

Scout05 · January 2010

grr_aargh:
ambrandau2:

I just...I can't see letting my last experience being pregnant be a loss, if there is any chance of having a successful pregnancy. I would always wonder "what if" if we didn't exhaust all options.

I know.

Big, giant, tackle hugs.

firefightersgal · January 2010

Clomid is more than likely the farthest we'll take it. Definately nothing that isn't covered by insurance. (IUI, IVF)

MAtoMN · January 2010

This is a very good question. My DH doesn't want to talk about "What if's" because he is so positive it will happen for us, but I am not as confident. We will go so far as IVF (I need to determine what insurance will cover, if anything), but he has said he doesn't want to adopt. But, obviously won't rule it out until we try everything else.

CarrieLeigh84 · January 2010

After our loss, we both agreed that we wanted to try again. BF said 'whatever happens, happens'.

A year and a half and a lot of testing later, he's ok with IVF. I think mostly because he knows that TTC consumes me, and I don't think I'd ever be ok not having babies. Or a baby.

Plus he knows that no baby = another dog, which he doesn't want

jdeats71 · January 2010

Not really sure but we are going to do our 3rd IUI in February. The RE doesn't think we'll need to move to IVF but I think we would be willing to do a least one cycle before calling it quits. No IF treatment is covered by insurance which totally sucks.

We would consider adoption but from what I know (which isn't much on that topic) it can take years too and be very expensive. ::sigh::

I really want a baby before I'm 40.......and that's lurking around the corner. I'm 38......

tarynhd · January 2010

Three months ago, I said no IUI, no IVF. DH has always vacillated between going as far as we can, stopping at adoption, or just seeing what happens. We talked about this a couple of weeks ago, and he is now fine with IUI. I am too. I'm sure if that doesn't work, we'll be fine with IVF. We have no coverage for fertility treatments, so my HSG at the end of the month will be OOP, as will his SA, and everything after that. We just don't want TTC to take over our relationship.

Jodi2008 · January 2010

We haven't talked much about it but DH doesn't seem thrilled about IVF. He also wasn't thrilled about adoption, although if I could, I'd adopt before I did IVF. Unfortunately both options are ridiculously expensive and I hope we don't get to the point where we have to decide. I just can't imagine not having a child (he would be fine w/out kids). I would need some serious counseling.

pepomntpat · January 2010

I don't know enough about it since we aren't there yet.

Cissi64 · January 2010

We were faced with this decision years ago and it all came down to money. Ins. covered nothing and we couldn't afford IVF/ICSI. We adopted 3 through foster care (money again) and thought we were done. Totally out of the blue, I got pregnant. We thought we were done again. Two years and 4 losses later, I'm ready for IVF even though it scares me a bit. DH isn't and doesn't want to adopt again either. To be fair to DH, we are looking at having to have kerotyping done, and preimplantation genetic diagnosis(PIGD) to rule out the fact that my eggs may be shot due to age...if they are, we would need to use donor eggs or donor embryos. All of that is even more expensive than straight IVF. We have the money...it is for our retirement but I would rather have the baby, KWIM! I really want to have the kerotyping done to see if our bio DD has anything to worry about since the RE said she could "be a fluke" and may have inherited bad genes from us.

itsmevkb · January 2010

I'm willing to go farther than my husband is at this point. We've been through clomid, IUIs and an IVF already and my husband does not want to return to those treatments. And, honestly, at this point we don't have the money for another IVF. We do have on frozen embryo and we are in agreement that at some point in the future we will do a FET. So, for right now I'm waiting on my body to return to normal, whatever that is, and then we'll try on our own for a short time and then do the FET. I can't even begin to think about what the next step would be if that doesn't work because I know I will want to do more but my husband will be satisfied with our family as it now.

For me, I would not have been able to say enough is enough until after I tried IVF at least once. I really needed the peace of mind that we tried everything we could.

Pixiestx · January 2010

We thought we were going to face needing IVF 3 years ago and I was so upset b/c DH said he didn't think he wanted to do it. When I got pg all on my own we decided, and we are both in agreement, that we would not go back to the RE for #2. If it doesn't happen on our own by the time I'm 35, we are done. I'm ok with that b/c we had at one point thought just 1 baby would never happen for us and I had to explore the idea of trying to be happy without having the family I imagined. I'm so incredibly lucky to have what I have and I know that every day so I think if nature doesn't allow me another, that's ok because I can see the up side of only having 1 as well.

sevenonesix · January 2010

As of our financial situation right now, we don't have any other options than to get pregnant naturally. If this doesn't work out after a few years we are willing to try Meds/IUI/IVF but I think I would rather adopt than do IVF (though again this is something that you can never really say until you're in the situation). It's just hard for me to think about throwing thousands of dollars into something that isn't guaranteed.

kshields104 · January 2010

DH and will fo anything we can to have children. We have even discussed adoption. We want to have children and nothing will stop us from doing that. Good luck to everyone though. I hope our paths teach us how strong we all truly are.

islelily · January 2010

DH and I are on the same page (thankfully!) and will be pursuing IVF in April as my insurance sees it as 2yrs IF. I don't know how realistic it would be for us to try IVF if it weren't covered, but it is definitely something we are pursuing now.

We've also discussed adoption and are excited about that.

OCIrishBruin · January 2010

CLAYLIOVER:
We are all in. Whatever it takes.

This. DH and I haven't had a lot of serious conversations about this yet, but this is where I'm at. It's not like we have so much money that IVF wouldn't be a big deal, but we definitely have enough where it is something we could try (once) without having to borrow money. With that being the situation, I can't think of anything more worth spending my money on, if it comes down to it.

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