How do you decline/stop someone from touching your belly?

Jenn Mom2Be2010 · January 2010

Hi Ladies,

Now that I'm to the point, where I actually have a bump, I'm dreading the first time someone asks me if they can touch my belly, OR even worse, someone just reaching out to do it without asking.

For those of you with experience, how do you handle this?

What do you say when someone asks and you don't want them to?

What do you say when someone just reaches to touch without asking?

TIA!!

baileebou · January 2010

I block them and keep my hands on my belly at all times. Sometimes it works. Gah, I hate belly rubs.

mrsfrank · January 2010

Towards the end of my pregnancy with DS I was so over it. Finally, I got rude right back. WHen someone asked me first, if I really didn't want them to I'd just say "you know, I am really not comfortable with my belly right now, I'd rather you didn't". and if they just reached and did it, I would say "ok, now I get to rub yours".....

KSEDmini · January 2010

If someone asks, I don't mind them touching.

If they don't ask and just reach out, it's usually followed by the question "how far along are you?" in which case I respond "I'm not pregnant." Figure I might as well have a little fun with it.

whitsim · January 2010

I would turn slightly and with a smile on my face say, "I'm sorry - I'm one of those pregnant women who don't like having their stomachs touched." This way, you're seeming polite about it, as well as cluing the would-be belly offender that you are by no means alone in not wanting to have yourself touched just because you're having a baby. Anyone who would try to approach you again after you gave them that explanation would just be plain creepy and well worth steering clear of.

sarasek · January 2010

When I stand, talking to someone, my hands are resting on my tummy. The only person to touch my stomach so far has been my husband and close family... I think it'd be weird to have people touching my stomach, but I'd feel bad saying no.

Sara

megdrew1218 · January 2010

I saw a girl on here post that as they reached out, she just shook their hand. To my MIL, who I can be saracastic with and she gets it, she reached out and I said "how'd you like it if I rubbed YOUR belly?" and she stopped. (She had also announced to everyone that day that I don't mind if people touch my belly, I said, right after her that I actually do have a bubble that I don't want popped.) Ugh.

I just think it's impolite for people to assume that since you're visibly pregnant that it is okay to reach out and touch. I just don't get it. I did see a shirt that said "Ask, then touch." That might help you, too.

emily0829 · January 2010

You could always politely mention that at the moment you have a highly contagious skin rash that could most likely puncture through clothing, and you'd really hate to have someone walk around with it on their hands and getting it all over the rest of their body afterward.

CinnamonBun · January 2010

My grandmother put her hand on my stomach.

I removed her hand, stepped back, and said,"I don't like that" very firmly. She has not tried to do it again.

If anyone does try to do that, I will tell/do the same thing. If anyone tries to tell me I should just get over it, I will remind them of what everyone learns in kindergarten - no one has the right to touch you with out your permission.

If I invite you, ok. Do not touch me b/c you think you have a right to touch me. DH is also aware of this and said he will stand up for me.

APRILMW · January 2010

Depending on the "mood" I'm in...... 1 time I was at the mall and a stranger walked up thinking it was ok to rub my belly....she got her hand slapped!!!

But, usually I either say please dont touch my stomach, or I just "deal with it" and complain to DH forever after about how rude people are!

katieriedel · January 2010

I am no where near popped enough yet for this to happen, but my plan is either to tell the belly rubbers that I am not pregnant, just fat. Or I am going to reach back and rub their belly and ask them if it's as awkward for them as it is for me.

I am fine with DH and family and certian friends touching my belly, my nephew runs up to me and kisses my stomach all the time and I think it's cute. But I wont tolerate strangers touching me. I am really scared of germs and weirded out by people I don't know.

agkoz83 · January 2010

I simply say..."I'm sorry...he's not moving right now!" and I walk away. What is the point of touching my belly unless you wanna feel him move. And he's not...so there is no need for you to!!

shanmoyer · January 2010

I haven't had anyone ask yet - but I've had 3 unsolicited belly rubs. Yesterday, I kicked the person (jokingly, I really thought she was further away than she was! lol I kicked her hand by accident! good thing she's my best work-buddy)

After MIL did it a few weeks ago, I started saying that I really am not looking forward to people touching my belly. If you didn't put it in there, don't touch it! I think she got the point

PerfectTogether1731 · January 2010

It's only happened a couple of times so far, and only with people I'm pretty close with, so I don't mind except for one - we have a girl with Down's come in to work a couple of days a week, and she always wants to touch my stomach! It's kind of awkward, because I didn't really want her to even know yet, when she found out, and she always follows it up with "you don't look pregnant". Well, then, don't touch me, please. Then I feel really mean and insensitive. Embarrassed

Mrs. S Wilson · January 2010

mrsfrank:
Towards the end of my pregnancy with DS I was so over it. Finally, I got rude right back. WHen someone asked me first, if I really didn't want them to I'd just say "you know, I am really not comfortable with my belly right now, I'd rather you didn't". and if they just reached and did it, I would say "ok, now I get to rub yours".....

lol...Imagine the look of shock on their face. Love it:)

nnbarriere · January 2010

megdrew1218:

I saw a girl on here post that as they reached out, she just shook their hand. To my MIL, who I can be saracastic with and she gets it, she reached out and I said "how'd you like it if I rubbed YOUR belly?" and she stopped. (She had also announced to everyone that day that I don't mind if people touch my belly, I said, right after her that I actually do have a bubble that I don't want popped.) Ugh.

I just think it's impolite for people to assume that since you're visibly pregnant that it is okay to reach out and touch. I just don't get it. I did see a shirt that said "Ask, then touch." That might help you, too.

That was me!! LOL and that particular person has not tried it since. I don't usually stay around long enough in a stand up conversation for a person to rub me...and if I do and they try to (well I haven't gotten there yet) I'll just do my best not to be mean. I don't have a very inviting look so belly rubbers beware!! I guess I'll find out tomorrow in church. This will be the first time they've seen me since right before the holidays when my bump was barely there.

laumholl · January 2010

To me, an unwanted belly rub is basically the same thing as someone going up to a lady and saying "Oh my goodness, your boob job looks amazing!" with appropriate action. It's weird. If it's a family member, I don't care, but if a stranger tried to touch the belly...I might just whip out the pepper spray!

stargazer77 · January 2010

My family & IL's have been doing this ever since we announced our pregnancy. I have IBS and other digestive issues, so the hormones are not helping at all. I kept kindly asking them to stop but they continued. I mean BIL would even go so far as to bend down and talk to it. I was only 10 weeks!!! So finally I got so feed up I yelled at everyone and said "THATS MY CRAP NOT MY BABY, PLEASE STOP TOUCHING IT!"

They had the nerve to tell me I was overreacting and had to get used to it if I wanted to get through the rest of this pregnancy!!!

Want a personalized experience?

How do you decline/stop someone from touching your belly?

Re: How do you decline/stop someone from touching your belly?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards