Well, that's one way to spot a lurker...

Scout05 · January 2010

Just saw the TTC After M/C loss badge Kelin posted on another board member's siggy. She's a fine chick, no issue with her taking the badge, but since she doesn't post here...you get what I'm saying.

Lurkers. They're out there. Like Ninjas.

sarahandeddiejune212008 · January 2010

I don't get why people want to read other people's thoughts and not even comment. It reminds me of stalking.

KelinandKevin · January 2010

kathi512 · January 2010

shall923 · January 2010

I don't get why people would lurk on a loss board. That seems sad to me.

Scout05 · January 2010

In this case, I believe she has had a loss but doesn't post here.

She should. We rule all.

But I know a lot of the people reading posts on MC/PL and here are lurking and have not had losses. I think it's pretty sick, but I also know it's a Free Internwebz. There is no way to keep them out.

We are just darn entertaining, ladies.

KelinandKevin · January 2010

ambrandau2:

In this case, I believe she has had a loss but doesn't post here.

She should. We rule all.

But I know a lot of the people reading posts on MC/PL and here are lurking and have not had losses. I think it's pretty sick, but I also know it's a Free Internwebz. There is no way to keep them out.

We are just darn entertaining, ladies.

Yeah, but I still don't like it. Makes me feel like we are putting on a freak show or something.

grr_aargh · January 2010

KelinandKevin:

You called?

Scout05 · January 2010

The 95+ views on this post alone should stand in illustration of my point.

:::waits for the invevitable one star:::

grr_aargh · January 2010

KelinandKevin:
ambrandau2:

In this case, I believe she has had a loss but doesn't post here.

She should. We rule all.

But I know a lot of the people reading posts on MC/PL and here are lurking and have not had losses. I think it's pretty sick, but I also know it's a Free Internwebz. There is no way to keep them out.

We are just darn entertaining, ladies.

Yeah, but I still don't like it. Makes me feel like we are putting on a freak show or something.

Dear Lurkers,

I'm glad you find us so interesting. Stay tuned and I'll PIP clots, the drugs I stick up my cooter, and even a gestational sac if you're lucky with a teeeensy tiny fetus in it.

Oh, and go fvck yourselves.

Sincerely,
Grrrr_Aargh, HA.

Clerk9 · January 2010

**Don't flame me, please!!!**

I know that there was awhile (a few weeks, which seems like a reeeally long time nowadays) in between when we had our m/c & before AF showed up when I was wanting to move on, but couldn't truthfully claim to be TTC again, when I didn't feel like I really belonged on either board. It wasn't until after someone else mentioned that it was okay to post over here that I started doing it. So, I don't know what that particular person's situation is, but that could be a reason!

lilly4474 · January 2010

Well, in defense of lurking...just kidding, kind of! But just my thoughts as a slowly-reforming lurker...since my m/c I have been lurking but also gradually posting a little (more on the m/c board). I definitely have to cop to lurking on TTCAL. I can't TTC again yet but reading you gals' posts makes me feel better, like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and someday soon I'll be able to join you. I feel like I won't better until I am TTC again. I know that is an odd goal - I do not wish a TTCAL badge on anyway! But in a strange way it's an improvement over not even being allowed to TTCAL yet And I'm so happy when someone gets a BFP! Even though I don't "know" them...

That being said, the reason I am posting and not just lurking anymore is because when I posted about my m/c that first day I go so, so much support and the nicest things said back...I want to do that for other people. I'm not really a big message board person but this is one topic that is so, so hard to talk about IRL.

It is really weird to lurk, I know it, and kind of selfish too. But do know that there a ton of lurkers out there that are probably taking silent solace/peace in everything you are brave and nice enough to share (at least I do)...I guess this is reply is just to say "thank you" on behalf of lurkers everywhere (at least this lurker!)

Scout05 · January 2010

lilly4474:

Well, in defense of lurking...just kidding, kind of! But just my thoughts as a slowly-reforming lurker...since my m/c I have been lurking but also gradually posting a little (more on the m/c board). I definitely have to cop to lurking on TTCAL. I can't TTC again yet but reading you gals' posts makes me feel better, like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and someday soon I'll be able to join you. I feel like I won't better until I am TTC again. I know that is an odd goal - I do not wish a TTCAL badge on anyway! But in a strange way it's an improvement over not even being allowed to TTCAL yet And I'm so happy when someone gets a BFP! Even though I don't "know" them...

That being said, the reason I am posting and not just lurking anymore is because when I posted about my m/c that first day I go so, so much support and the nicest things said back...I want to do that for other people. I'm not really a big message board person but this is one topic that is so, so hard to talk about IRL.

It is really weird to lurk, I know it, and kind of selfish too. But do know that there a ton of lurkers out there that are probably taking silent solace/peace in everything you are brave and nice enough to share (at least I do)...I guess this is reply is just to say "thank you" on behalf of lurkers everywhere (at least this lurker!)

I am so gald you are joining in on the board now. I TOTALLY lurked before I started posting here, after my loss in May. I think it's a good idea, to get a feel for the board.

But you said it perfectly just then - the support you recieve is so wonderful, and a good person wants to give it back. And when you participate, it makes it exciting for all of us when that BFP arrives and we can celebrate the good news with you.

Also, if you haven't had a loss, why on earth are you here? Really?

ColindaP · January 2010

There's a post almost every day encouraging lurkers to de-lurk and join in, whether they are TTC again or not. TTA is a part of TTC, and there are many of us not actively TTC right now. It's not the lurkers who want to join in when they are ready who are creepy. It's the lurkers who lurk to feel better about themselves that are creepy. The ones for whom we are "their worst nightmare."

Scout05 · January 2010

Clerk9:

**Don't flame me, please!!!**

I know that there was awhile (a few weeks, which seems like a reeeally long time nowadays) in between when we had our m/c & before AF showed up when I was wanting to move on, but couldn't truthfully claim to be TTC again, when I didn't feel like I really belonged on either board. It wasn't until after someone else mentioned that it was okay to post over here that I started doing it. So, I don't know what that particular person's situation is, but that could be a reason!

No flames at all.

Really, my only issue is with people who have no business at all being here looking in for...IDK what. Fun? I'm not sure what kind of person thinks pg loss is fun to read about.

The lady in my OP has every right to be here; I just thought it was interesting to see a badge that was posted earlier today here on another board, and not know who that person was. I would love it if she joined us - the support here is so amazing.

lilly4474 · January 2010

Well, I totally agree with you there. Back in the "good old days" before the last three weeks (when my lurking was happily confined to the 1st and 2nd trimester boards, ha ha) I would never have dreamed of coming over to the loss boards.

I can at least *understand* why you'd lurk here if you'd had a loss and (a) you just either aren't into posting for whatever reason or (b) aren't ready yet, but for the life of me, I can't imagine why you'd ever be here if you hadn't had a loss - that's morbid & sad.

Staribeth · January 2010

I do feel bad when I read a post and then don't respond. Sometimes my thought has already been shared by another poster or I just don't have anything else to add that is worthwhile.

I am a great conversationalist, maybe I just have trouble typing?

Sonadora · January 2010

I open lots of posts and then once I read the content I don't have any advice to offer (say it's on IUI or something and that wasn't clear from the titles, I don't have an experience with that to share ro relate to).

I do agree that I don't think people without losses belong here. Seriously, we are caged animals for you to peer at from behind the bars.

Jessicamz · January 2010

I do think it's strange if someone lurks on a MC/PL board if they haven't had a m/c. I don't see how this could be helpful to them...? However, if she's had a m/c honestly why does it matter if she doesn't post? I read 60-75% of the posts on this board (Most days) and I only post on some. Many times it's too hard to catch-up because there are SO many posts and SO many responses. I say if it actually helps someone to read our stores, questions and answers, let them!

jesseandbri · January 2010

I often lurk or post one or two replies and then I have to get back to work. I don't post in the evenings but I feel a bond, a sucky bond, but I feel like I have so much in common with you girls.

Some days I don't come over at all because I don't want to become consumed with TTC again.

Scout05 · January 2010

Jessicamz:
I do think it's strange if someone lurks on a MC/PL board if they haven't had a m/c. I don't see how this could be helpful to them...? However, if she's had a m/c honestly why does it matter if she doesn't post? I read 60-75% of the posts on this board (Most days) and I only post on some. Many times it's too hard to catch-up because there are SO many posts and SO many responses. I say if it actually helps someone to read our stores, questions and answers, let them!

Yeah. I agree. Which is what I said in my OP.

The "lurkers" are not people who have had losses who read a post but don't respond.

They are people who have no business being here reading our posts for reasons that defy understanding.

Clerk9 · January 2010

Yeah, lurking on loss boards when you haven't experienced one IS weird (I'm being polite here).

Thanks for not flaming me, girls...I guess I didn't pick up on the conversation changing from the specific situation to weird lurkers in general. Wish it was under better terms that I found out how wonderfully supportive & understanding women like all of you could be.

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