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Godparents Nightmare / Question (sorry: long)
Hello Bumpies!
So, I live in a part of the country where people often pick family members for Godparents (which doesn't make sense to me, but whatever). DH's brother lives near us, as does my sister. We are both best friends to our siblings.
I am godmother to one of my sister's kids, and my sister goes to the same church as DH and me, so it sort of makes sense to ask her and her husband...However, DH thinks if we ask them, it's only fair to ask his brother and HIS wife to be the second set of godparents. I really like his brother but the wife is a b!tch...and neither of them go to church and they roll their eyes / make fun of us for going to church.
What do you think? If we're going to have 2 sets, should I just shut up and go with the family obligation? Or do you think it's silly to have people be godparents when they disdain our religion?
And what are you going to do???
Thank you so much!
PS I have a girlfriend that I would prefer was another godmother instead of SIL...she isn't able to have kids and just got divorced and is my very best friend....so it seems weird to me to have the SIL when my bestie would be so much more wonderful...
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Re: Godparents Nightmare / Question (sorry: long)
I am probably not the best person to give advice here as we don't do godparents in our families...
however, isn't the point of having godparents is to ensure their spiritual growth? That by definition doesn't seem to be your BiL or SiL. I, personally, have never heard of having two sets of godparents but to each their own. Why would your B/SiL not be happy just being the uncle and aunt?
We do not usually do husband and wife as godfather and godmother here. (I mean, it can happen, I guess, but it's not a rule or anything.) Could you make your sister the godmother and his brother the godfather? That way, you don't have two sets and you exclude the wife.
However, I understand not wanting to have someone who blatantly thinks your religion is stupid to be the godparent. That doesn't make sense to me, either. In fact, if I were the brother and thought it was stupid, I would be uncomfortable standing up as a potential witness or guide to the baby's spirituality. He might not even WANT to be the godfather.
I think that if they have a problem with your religion then they have no business being GODparents... the point of a Godparent is to take care of the child and make sure that they are allowed to carry on your religious beliefs in case anything were to ever happen to your husband and yourself.
the role of Godparents should be a spiritual one and not just a role of obligation. My husband's "godfather" is his aunt's first husband, who he hasn't talked to, heard from or seen in 20 years since they divorced, a role given to the guy obviously so DH's aunt wouldn't feel bad.
I'm a Catholic only child and my husband is an athiest. I've already let him know that if we are raising the child catholic (which he agrees to let me do if he doesn't have to take part) that I'm not just naming his non-catholic family members godparents so they can feel special - not to say he won't have some say in it; just that I don't want anyone giving him any guilt trips if they don't automatically get named it. With Catholocism I think you need at least one catholic godparent but both don't have to be. My prerequisite if they aren't is that they are spiritual. My godmother took her role very seriously, and she was my mom's best friend, not an aunt or family member. I feel blessed to have had someone who cared about my spiritual upbringing and that's what I want for my child.
I think so too!!!!
Agreed, and not only allowed, but Godparents are supposed to help your children spiritually grow!
Honestly, In my huge family, we have random #.s as Godparents. I was baptized with 4, who've ALL since then gotten married, so now I have 4 couples for Godparents.
Kaygan will be having one of my sisters, my cousin (both our religion and very religious). We'll also have DH's best friend, tho since he's not Lutheran, he'll be a 'witness' instead, though by all accounts, we'll still call him a Godfather. After these 3 people all get married, she'll have 3 couples as Godparents.
I think you shouldn't be picking people out of obligation!
This is what I was thinking. ?We are not having a married couple be Godparents. ?Is the second set of Godparents for the same chid or are you planning ahead for the next child? ?I've never heard of having to sets of Godparents either.?