Pregnant after a Loss

when did you start relaxing with this pregnancy?

my husband tells pretty much everyone that i'm pregnant. this morning he got some tylenol for me, and made sure to tell the person he got it from "it's for my wife, it's all she can take-- she's pregnant." it's not like i'm keeping it a secret, and i have told some people but... i am definitely not as open about it as he is.

today i went to a baby shower at work, and afterwards, quite a few women asked when husband and i planned to have kids. i just smiled and said soon. i really wanted to share my pregnancy with them but i kept thinking "i'm only 15 weeks (tomorrow), what if something goes wrong next week or the week after or the week after that..."

i know something can always go wrong and you never really are "safe" during a pregnancy. but when did you start relaxing, and talking about your pregnancy to others, without feeling like you were jinxing yourself?

Re: when did you start relaxing with this pregnancy?

  • I'm still waiting.

     Although, I have to admit, the further along I get, the more confident I get about it.  I don't think I'll ever feel 100% safe though.

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  • On Wednesday (15w1d) after my 3rd normal ultrasound.  I've had 6 so far my latest emergency u/s due to bleeding was at 14w, so I was starting to think I would never calm down.  On Wed., my doctor was able to pretty confidently guess it's a boy, and after that I was just really, really excited.  My DH is still fairly cautious, though.  He prefers that I don't post anything on FB until LO is here.  It will happen for you, but until then, I don't think there's any reason to feel guilty about keeping it mostly to yourself.  PgAL is an exciting, but nerve-wracking place to be. 
  • When I could feeel her move every day.. that's when I started to calm down. I still had days when I'd panic if she didnt' move 'enough', but as long as i felt her ever couple of hours, I was ok.
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  • My previous loss was late, so I feel pretty good right now, but I think that will change the further along I get.
    BFP #1- 1/16/09- Baby Ava stillborn at 32 weeks, possible cord accident, 7/30/09
    BFP #2- 1/5/10- Baby Jack born at 37w2d, 6lbs 13 oz, 8/24/10
    BFP #3- 7/30/11- Baby Boy Due April 3, 2012
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  • right at 15 weeks when I had a THIRD U/S (for my Gallbladder) and got to see my baby look like a baby and still had a heartbeat soon after that I started to feel tiny flutters and I started LOOKING pregnant and people started asking, I figured as long as I can feel BabyRed moving everything will be ok.

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  • imagePurpleK26:
    When I could feeel her move every day.. that's when I started to calm down. I still had days when I'd panic if she didnt' move 'enough', but as long as i felt her ever couple of hours, I was ok.

     

    Exactly this!!!Big Smile (but change the her to a him!)

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  • imagePurpleK26:
    When I could feeel her move every day.. that's when I started to calm down. I still had days when I'd panic if she didnt' move 'enough', but as long as i felt her ever couple of hours, I was ok.

    This exactly.  And after the 20 wk u/s I felt better.  Today I am freaking out again b/c baby has decided to stop moving as much for the last two days.

  • imagesydney0928:
    My previous loss was late, so I feel pretty good right now, but I think that will change the further along I get.

     

    This exactly for me... the further along I get, the more I think about my Pprom happening again

    IVF cycle 1-BPF!
    9/13/09-Twin boys born at 23 weeks due to Pprom.
    Ethan and Jacob-our beautiful angel babies lived for 11 minutes and 23 hours.
    Single embryo FET 12/2009-BFP! Blake born 8/2010 at 39 weeks after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c section < IVF 2- BPF! Due April 27th Our Story
  • I'm still cautious and tend to overanalyze every little thing but I'm just now starting to feel more confident about the pg.  I think it is completely normal for any of us to feel exactly how you feel. 
  • I don't know if I ever will relax b/c I had both an early loss and a later one.  Maybe after viability at 24 weeks.  However, I have already told my two bffs and DH has told his BIL and mom.  I'm planning on telling ppl asap with this even if I'm nervous as hell and may have to also talk about a m/c again.  I'm so sick of how our society is with m/c and would like to help with the stigmatism of it.  I also could use all the support I can get during this pg. 
  • It took me a really long time. My first omg this is really happening came long after seeing a healthy heartbeat and a growing baby on-time TWICE. It was when I saw the baby move on the ultrasound at 11 weeks. It got even better at my NT scan around 14 weeks. Then I had that bleeding scare around 16 weeks and thought it was all over. And then started freaking out about lack of movement. I kept thinking that as soon as I knew the sex I would finally relax, and I think I have. Hitting 20 weeks today makes a huge difference too. It?s so hard not to constantly worry and I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I honestly don?t think I will relax until I have my baby in my arms. Just have faith girl, I?ve prayed more the last 5 months than I have in my whole life I think. Today you are pg and you love your baby (so cliche, right?) haha
    Missed MC 1 - 11/21/2006 Missed MC 2 - 03/10/2008 BFP # 3 09/18/09 - Gabriel David born 05/11/2010 baby
  • My DH will announce it to everyone too.  I had to out myself on FB to keep him from outing me.  At work, it's a different story.  I'm waiting to tell other teachers, students, and parents when they ask me.  It saves me the trouble of making a big announcement.
  • Everyone at work knows because of the risks at work (anesthesia, surgery, radiation), but in our family only a few people know.  I *want* to tell everyone, just to have support and prayers from them, but after the early loss, my mom said she didn't want to know until I was further along.  Once she knows, pretty much everyone will know.  I don't know that I'll ever feel "safe" but I will feel better when we hear a heartbeat this week. 
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