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What do you think of BMs plan?

PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
in Blended Families

Tuesday is SSs 8th birthday.  Bm has decided to collect him from school and 4 of his friends and take them go karting at 3pm.  She did invite Fi's 2nephews BUT they live an hour away and so obviously will not make it as they also attend school.  She has asked Fi to 'help' her as in collect some of the kids from school and she and Fi take them go karting and out for dinner together.  I was not invited and will be working anyhow.

What do you think?

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Re: What do you think of BMs plan?

  • mom2onemom2one member
    He should go! SS will probably love seeing his parents both for his bday party!
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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  • Mrs.Astros_FanMrs.Astros_Fan
    I think it sounds fine.  Are you asking because it's on a Tuesday?
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  • j+kj+k
    I don't see any issue with this.  What's your concern? That you can't go and weren't invited?  Even so, your history with BM is generally good isn't it?  I'd support it and not give it a second thought.
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  • cabbage5215cabbage5215 member
    Sounds great. I'm sure SS is thrilled that he can spend his bday with both of his parents.  I'm not sure what the issue is.
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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member

    BM has a history of being really clingy to FI, right?  Texting, calling, imagining them back together? 

    Sure, it sounds nice for SS.  You guys could try it and hope she's completely outgrown her former behavior.  If she regresses, it would suck, but maybe she won't.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • LorelaiOctoberBrideLorelaiOctoberBride

    Well, other than it being at a funky time, it sounds like fun!  I was not invited to the skids bday parties until just recently-and that was cause I pretty much invited myself-missed the girly party, though, which I'm peeved about, but anyway...

    I guess you shouldn't necessarily be offended, but I understand if you feel slighted about not being invited.  Stinks.  Did she know you were working, anyway? Maybe that's why no invite? (wishful thinking here..)

    Weird the party's on a Tuesday-unless this is something other than his regular party. 

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  • Shel77Shel77 member

    truly don't get how you weren't invited.  You are an important part of your SS's life and definitely on the "parenting team".  If there were huge BM drama, could understand you declining in the interest of harmony at his party, but that's not the case.  Can see you giving this the side eye.  How did your FI respond?

    I have a similarly good relationship with SD's mom and have a great relationship with my SD.  We do a joint party every other year and I absolutely expect to be invited.  Although there's a little discomfort for me involved (my own stuff), SD would find it weird if I didn't go.

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  • DREWLILYDREWLILY
    I think it sounds fine. I can't remember exactly how BM and Fi are with each other, but if I remember a little correctly, there are no major issues and they get along ok? He should go help out. He gets to spend time with SS for his bday party. As long as he and the BM can get along for the sake of SS, then yeah he should go. Wish you could go too though because it sounds like fun.
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  • goldenjesgoldenjes member

    It makes sense for both parents to help with the party, but you definitely should have been invited to participate.

    If BM is trying to get involved inappropriately with DH, hopefully he will be smart enough to set boundaries and enforce them.

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  • KyahKyah member
    Did she know you would be at work? If yes then I think that it looks like an obvious attempt to exclude you. If no, then I would say FI should have spoken up and told her that you have to work and lets do it for a day when all of you could attend and a weekend day where the cousins could go may be better.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    I think it sounds good but how did she word it so that you were not included?  Did she say you cannot come, make a big deal that it would be nice for HIM to come or did she just not mention you specifically maybe assuming you would be there?  Either way I think it sounds good b/c DS would enjoy it and I think that it is always best for parents to do those things together.  Well, on second thought, I would never let my 8yo go cart but that is just me.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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