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He wants me to temp stop child support. Wwyd?

belle204belle204 member
in Single Parents
Forgive the lack of paragraphs. I'm too lazy to go get my laptop. Dd's dad sent me a text asking me to stop child support for six months to give him time to get his business up and running (opening a store next month). While I can respect the desire to have his own business and obviously want him to succeed b/c that means more financial help for dd I question the timing w/the state of the economy. But I also have said I would rather dd have a relationship w/him vs us bickering over money like my parents after they divorced. However, I still feel that it's not my fault he can't meet all of his obligations with the job he does have (which is only p/t from what he says). My theory is to man up and do what you have to. But, seriously, his little $50/mo order isn't moving the earth for me or anything. It helps but I've taken care of her for 4 yrs now w/minimal help from him. He has NEVER once bought food, clothes, diapers, nothing. It's all me and of course the spoiling she gets from my family and friends. He just started paying the full amount a few months ago and I'm certain they are prob garnishing his wages since he went so long w/no payments or partial. He was nice in his approach to asking me but I ignored the text while I think. I don't want him getting pissy and taking it out on her ... all she wants to do lately is talk to/text her daddy (since he lives oot she can't just see him whenever). I hate I even question things like this. My gut reaction is to say no. His problem. I work f/t at a job I hate so that I can pay my mortgage and provide for my child and pay my bills. Why should I take pity on him? Wwyd?
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Re: He wants me to temp stop child support. Wwyd?

  • nbjenninbjenni
    I just can't believe he is only required to pay $50 a month. That is so sad. Honestly, I'd tell him to suck it up and be happy he isn't paying hundreds or thousands a month.
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  • belle204belle204 member
    No kidding. I was so pissed. I made the mistake of opening the letter while in my truck at a light. I almsot ran off the road I was seeing red after I read that. It was bad enough I filed when she was 3 months old and didn't even get the order until a good year or so later and they wouldn't make him pay back support. I hate even dealing with it it's so frustrating.
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  • lnbohaclnbohac
    Don't accept.  Talk to a lawyer or the judge who set the child support terms in the first place.
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  • peeps61308peeps61308 member
    I definitely would not stop the payments. He does not have the option to stop paying his utilities or car note/insurance, he shouldn't have the option to stop taking care of his child, no matter how little the amount is (which is crazy btw!!)
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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member

    Oh hell no!!  If $50 is going to make or break his business, then it won't succeed in the first place.  That is a ridiculous amount btw.  You should be asking for a modification to get more money IMO.  In GA you can request a modification every two years.

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  • belle204belle204 member
    i don't think it would do any good to be honest. i was only working p/t when i filed, was working f/t by the time we had the paternity test done and his court date came up (which he didn't even go to!). i make more now than i did then. the bigger problem is even dealing with the system here is so infuriating. he is def getting off easy and is crazy to even ask me to stop payments. i wish he'd get a real effin job and let go of this pipe dream ... watch him try to twist it and blame his woes on me.
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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member

    imagebelle204:
    i don't think it would do any good to be honest. i was only working p/t when i filed, was working f/t by the time we had the paternity test done and his court date came up (which he didn't even go to!). i make more now than i did then. the bigger problem is even dealing with the system here is so infuriating. he is def getting off easy and is crazy to even ask me to stop payments. i wish he'd get a real effin job and let go of this pipe dream ... watch him try to twist it and blame his woes on me.

    It certianly wouldn't hurt to ask.  If you go through CSE, then you won't have to pay an attorney, but if you want the most CS your DD can get, its worth hiring an attorney most of the time.  I totally get the "blaming his woes on me" part.  My ex uses the evil ex wife card to get sympathy all of the time (not from me, but his family, girlfriend and friends).  Who would he be if not the man that was wronged by his ex wife? LOL.

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  • SalihyaaSalihyaa

    Hellll to the NO!!

    Your child is way more important than him starting some business so I would tell his ass to chalk it up.

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  • cabbage5215cabbage5215 member
    imageSalihyaa:

    Hellll to the NO!!

    Your child is way more important than him starting some business so I would tell his ass to chalk it up.

    I also say no.  Mostly because $50. a month is seriously laughable. 

    Now, if he was paying a substantial amount I would consider temp lowering it.  Starting a business that may actually provide a better life for your child is showing your child how important he/she is.  

    Like I said though, since he is only paying $50 it would be hard not to laugh my @ss off at such a request. 

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  • belle204belle204 member
    imagelilcyndiluwho:

    OH HELL NO!  I don't need Xs child support either but he's so freaking financially irresponsible that I expect him to pay it as a matter of principle becuase he needs to understand that grown ups get jobs and earn money to pay their bills and support their children. 

    $50 a month is nothing.  If he can't come up with that, just wow. Tell him to get over it.

    I was so hoping you would reply. Thanks!

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  • belle204belle204 member

    Yep. Lol.

    I keep thinking if I just don't reply then he'll figure out my answer. I don't feel like dealing with him.

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  • buckeyerachelbuckeyerachel

    Don't stop it.  Once you do, it is like saying it is ok for you to not have that money (even if it is only $50).

    I would agree with the other ladies about the $50 being really low.  That seems abnormal considering the fee one pays to process child support.  Why would they even bother for such a low amount?  I would question that for sure.

    Good luck.

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  • BabyMenzelBabyMenzel
    even if you were to be ok with stopping cs temporarily he would still have to petition the court to do so...so document and ignore said question Smile
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  • AngiesmommyAngiesmommy
    NO WAY! Once a parent, always a parent. there is no such thing as putting your kid and responsibilities on hold. It's great to want to start a business, but 1st priority, in EVERY AND ANY SITUATION, is the child.
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