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no time like the present: connect
I started writing this on the Circle of Support post, but it kind of turned into something else. In case some people were avoiding that post because it's too emotional, I thought I'd post this separately.
sorry if this is rambly. I'm up way too late and hyped up on caffeine and the post grew into a monster. I hope someone understands how I'm feeling from it and can take away something from it and posts a response so I don't feel like a crazy person 
.....
Life is too short. Sadly, you never know what God has in store for you. It might be exactly what you want, or it might be something very different, or it might be a little bit of the two. I have been blessed in many ways but I also have many challenges of my own (medical issues) which scare me because I will have to live with them forever, worrying how they will affect my life & my children.
What will happen? Where will life take me? What I can learn from what I have seen and experienced this past week is that there's no time like the present. If you have something you want to say to someone, say it! If you feel something, don't hold it in because you're not sure... people may come in and out of our lives in many different ways and it's important to live our lives to the fullest so that we can enjoy it and the people that we care about.
if you know me, or know anything about my work, you'll know that I am really into personal connections (making them and capturing them on film). but what's a good way to say to a friend, "hey, I feel a deeper connection to you and want to be better friends" without intimidating someone? so I'm also guilty of not taking the time to develop my friendships, mainly out of the fear that my new friends will think I'm a nut. 
I'm really not, I promise!
BUT, that isn't the way it should be. Why should we be afraid of saying how we feel? our hearts are so tender- afraid to be broken- so it's hard, even to be rejected by a friendship. but if you do let someone know you care about them, they could end up being a better friend.
maybe it's someone you were friends with before having your baby and haven't hung out with in a year or two and you want to reconnect and let them know you still care and think about them all the time... OR maybe it's a newer friend who you really like spending time with and would love to just have coffee one day and pour your heart out but aren't sure how they'll react... just take the next step.
take a chance. let's try to say what we feel - be more open - and be better friends this year, ok?
there is no time like right now to tell someone how you feel!!! let's get started.
... if you want to use this post to say anything to any fellow bumpies in particular, feel free. if you don't want to use this post or want to connect with a non-bumpie, think about a friend you really care about and take a few minutes to email or send them a facebook message or better yet, call them and let them know. or just post your thoughts here, so my long post that I stayed up too late to write doesn't sit here all alone.
xoxoxo
This discussion has been closed.
Re: no time like the present: connect
I understand where you are comng from, and agree with having children I have lost some very good friends yet have met some new ones. Your post is very well written with true meaning, and it wont sit here all alone.
Have a good night...
Nicole
I agree 100%. Gary's death has put everything into perspective for me. Time is valuable, don't waste it being upset at someone for something that happened yrs ago. Make your New Year's resolution, to reconnect with those loved ones you haven't heard from in ages.
I for one want to thank each and every one of you. To all the girls that started in or around Aug 03 on The Knot. We've been through the engagements, the wedding plannings, the births, the miscarriages and now death. You have all proven to be such great friends. We have formed such a tight bond that you are like my extended family. I'm not excluding those that are new here, or those that I haven't met in person yet. In one way or another you have all touched my life and for that I thank GOD!!! You will forever hold a special place in my heart.
If I went down the list with a message for each, I'd never finish. Cause we know, you are all truly amazing woman and for that I am grateful.
I will leave a message for one person and that's Sam.
You have proven to me what a strong woman you are. This isn't the way I would've like to have found out, but nonetheless. Gary is super proud of you and how you've handled it all. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you to have lost your soulmate, your best friend, your husband and the amazing father to Mikey. But do know, he touched many of us. Having never met him, I feel like I can't speak of him like others that had the joy of meeting him. But from what you and others have mentioned of him, we know he had a great outlook on life, loved to joke and always had witty comebacks. I'm sure others can add more, but just know that you and your family have touched my heart. I pray for you all, hope that God gives you more strength to help you ease this pain. Know that I'm here whenever you want to talk as I'm sure many of the other girls have offered their shoulder to cry on as well. When I finally get to the states within the next couple of months, I would like to gtg with you and Mikey.
May God bless you and your loved ones. (Sorry if the use of the word God offends anyone)
Beautifully said. I couldn't agree with you more. One of the only things that gets me through really hard times is to think of something positive that can happen as a result. I still consider my best friends the friends I made in high school and talk to them regularly - unfortunately they live all throughout the country and I've made very little time to make new friends that I can see and interact with daily. It was so comforting seeing all of you last night and even though I had only met some of you once or twice - and some not at all until last night - I felt such a wonderful connection to all be there and support Sam and Mikey.
A lot of us spoke that we need to see each other more often under happier circumstances. I hope we can keep that up and continue to support each other through life's daily triumphs and tragedies. You all put a smile on my face every day just being here and getting to look at the pictures of all of your little ones. I agree, there is no time like the present.
Wow, Karen everything that you've said is soooo true. I don't have many close friends. I read posts on here everyday and I always say to myself, "Wow, if this Bumpie was an IRL friend we would totally click". It really is about making connections and keeping them and saying what you feel.
that is SO true, and there is NO reason why we shouldn't be friends IRL too! there are so many times I feel that way also but I'm afraid to tell the person how cool I think they are because I'm afraid they'll think I'm a total dork (ok... I kind of am.. lol). if you're afraid of saying something, you just miss out on that friendship completely which is unfortunate. There are definitely a few Bumpies that I have thought that about myself.
I'm going to put together an email today that will be a little strange to write.
There is a friend I was very close to once and due to certain events, we are no longer able to talk and maintain our friendship. It was the deepest connection I've had with someone I was not romantically involved with, if you can even imagine something like that. it was an interesting friendship. something happened, and we just can't talk anymore, but i think about her almost every day. even though we won't ever be friends again, I feel like I can't not tell her that she'll always be in my thoughts and in my heart. I think it's really important... really important that we let people know we care.
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!
good for you karen! i personally think you are awesome! there are many girls on this board that i've had the honor of meeting and creating friendships with, honestly i'm so glad we met via these boards b/c i would have lucked out in meeting such a great group of women in my life. i hug my husband more often than usual and every single night i thank god for what i have.
aww thank you eve! you are awesome too.
i wish we lived a little closer. i definitely would like to know you better. 
well, i sent my email to my former friend, definitely feel a bit of a load off. i have a few more people that i really want to connect or REconnect with this year. it is definitely part of this year's resolutions now, so important now more than ever. just need to do it.
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!
I totally get what you are saying, Karen. I have too had those moments where I get a vibe from a Nestie or Bumpie and think, "man, I could have fun with this girl IRL." Luckily, I have had the opportunity to meet so many of you in person and realize that you guys are mostly the same in person as you are online which is so cool to me because this means you are being "real" either way.
I have always been able to make friends really easily. I tend to like most people and can find something in common with most any body. I think its the Gemini in me. I have a nice group of friends that I have had for about 12 years now that I met online years ago. We are scattered from San Francisco to New York to Washington State but keep in touch and visit as much as we can. Two of those girls were bridesmaids in my wedding. Therefore, I know it is really possible to make new connections with people online and have them compatible to my real life.
I really look forward to hanging out with you girls more and more.
My best friends today are the same group of friends that I've been friends with since high school. But we are also scattered all over the place, so I only see them a couple of times per year.
As I've gotten older, I've found it hard to form those lasting connections with people. But I think that's because I haven't put forth the effort. I can be somewhat reserved in large group settings. And since I don't have children, I stopped posting here. I'm not going to let that stop me anymore. This is a great, supportive group of women and I consider myself lucky to have met as many of you in person as I have.
I hope to meet more of you in the near future!
some of my online friendships are some of the best ones I have! I have some online friends that I've known since I was 14 and meeting them in person was such a thrilling experience!!
however, I don't have a lot of people I feel 100% comfortable with anymore though, and I'd like to get to that point, of being able to give more of myself to others. like, the kind of friend where you can just do nothing, lay on your bed and talk for hours, that kind of friend.
for me this year is ALL about developing myself as an artist/person and connecting more with others. as each day goes by I keep feeling the importance of this grow.
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!