ugh sister pg too! vent — The Bump
3rd Trimester

ugh sister pg too! vent

So I am the younger sis and I am due Jan. 21st, she is due April 1. I am super excited to bring the first grandchild into the family, finally I get to do something first Big Smile . Anyway somehow it seems like she has made my whole pregnancy about her. She made a huge deal about not touching my belly when LO had started moving around because it was going to "freak her out" until she experienced it herself. She is constantly rubbing it in my face that she will not be going right back to work 6 weeks after the baby is born even though she knows I am seriously sensitive about having to go back myself. Last night took the cake though. I didn't pass my first GTT and had to take the 3 hour test. I passed the three hour fine but had to go the day of my shower and it was a huge pain in the a$$. She made a special call last night to tell me she had passed hers and wanted me to know first cause I understand what a big deal it is. No, you just wanted to rub something else in my face. Ugh sorry if this sounds super shallow, prob just a little sister complex thing.

Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.

Re: ugh sister pg too! vent

  • aw im sorry your going thru this, just ignore her and dont worry about it your baby is coming first ! :)
  • Hugs!

    I've been suffering from the little sister complex for a while now, lol.  I totally understand your vent.  Sorry you have to deal with that.  She sounds like she's suffering from it too...but her's is more of a jealousy issue b/c you finally get to do something b/4 her.

    I've had to endure not only 2 of my sisters having babies (w/out trying whilst dh and I had been trying for 2+ years), but one of them was due the same day I WAS due after a miscarriage.  So again, I know what you mean, and she's a pain in the hooha if you ask me.

    Just dust your shoulders off and stand proud.  Your little one will be here soon, and you'll forget all about her antics!

  • oh boy... for this I am glad I have an older brother and that's it! haha??

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  • So I want to apologize for being a big sister haha.

    There's one of two things a big sister (I) would be doing... first, maybe she's just sooo excited to be going through it with you that she doesnt even realize that she is being a one up sister, or two, she's a big sister so she's doing it on purpose because you are the younger sister who is having the baby first.

    Hopefully shes not doing it on purpose..

  • Your baby is coming first. So, make sure you send her pictures of your baby and call her about all things your baby and let her know you had to share cause you know she understands what a big deal it is.

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  • Marsha! MARSHA! Marsha! Hmm
    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
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  • Sad

    My little sister just had her first baby on Dec 18. And my first is due tomorrow. Being pregnant together was such a good and fun experience for us both. Sorry your sister is ruining it.

    I will say that it was weird to see my baby sister experiencing a major milestone before me. It was hard for me to accept when she got married first, but I just had to realize that we're adults now, and in the same phase of life for the first time, so I don't get to be the first to do everything anymore. Hopefully your sister will get over it eventually...

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  • image Brandi Bee:
    IMO, you both are being really immature.  You shouldn't hold that "first grandchild" thing over her head.  It might make you feel good, but if it sticks it could make her child feel pretty terrible for not being "first" and make her think your parents don't think he or she being born was as exciting.  That's not cool no matter what your sister is pulling.  Just ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy and becoming a mother.  This isn't a competition. 

    Just becausse I mentioned having the first kid on my post does not mean I have EVER said that to her or my parents . I have too much respect for my sister to do that. Just because I am happy about it for myself does not mean that I would EVER take it out on my niece. Furthermore she has told me she was happy that I am going first. This post had NOTHING to do with making her feel bad, it's how she is making me feel. I don't hold anything over my sister's head and wouldn't dare pull that garbage but thanks for the response.

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • Thanks guys for your support!!! I can't tell you how much it means to hear I'm not going crazy!
    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • image Brandi Bee:
    IMO, you both are being really immature.  You shouldn't hold that "first grandchild" thing over her head.  It might make you feel good, but if it sticks it could make her child feel pretty terrible for not being "first" and make him or her think your parents don't think he or she being born was as exciting.  That's not cool no matter what your sister is pulling.  Just ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy and becoming a mother.  This isn't a competition. 

    Word.

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  • image krissyh21:
    Marsha! MARSHA! Marsha! Hmm

    What she said!

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  • image Brandi Bee:

    image Brandi Bee:
    IMO, you both are being really immature.  You shouldn't hold that "first grandchild" thing over her head.  It might make you feel good, but if it sticks it could make her child feel pretty terrible for not being "first" and make her think your parents don't think he or she being born was as exciting.  That's not cool no matter what your sister is pulling.  Just ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy and becoming a mother.  This isn't a competition. 

    Just becausse I mentioned having the first kid on my post does not mean I have EVER said that to her or my parents . I have too much respect for my sister to do that. Just because I am happy about it for myself does not mean that I would EVER take it out on my niece. Furthermore she has told me she was happy that I am going first. This post had NOTHING to do with making her feel bad, it's how she is making me feel. I don't hold anything over my sister's head and wouldn't dare pull that garbage but thanks for the response.

    It was just the way you posted it: "Finally, I get to do something first." It implied to me that competition has been going on between the two of you long before either of you were pregnant.  Even if you've never said it, your sister may have picked up on your delight at your baby being first, thus somehow being more important than hers.   It doesn't mean I think you'd "take it out on" your niece, but the attitudes might affect the children and cause them to act the same way towards each other and you don't want that sort of problem in your family.

    In any case, it wasn't my intention to offend you but to offer advice that people who want to one up you all the time or compete with you should be ignored.  Don't participate in their competition and it will eventually stop.

    I appreciate the response. I just want to make sure that everyone understands that I'm nothing but happy that she is pg and that my LO is going to have a cousin so close in age. As far as the whole competition thing is concerned, I don't know if you have a sibling or anything but it is part of life I believe when you have a sibling relatively close in age. It's nice to have the oppurtunity to be reaching new ground on your own in a terrritory your older sibling has not. That is a personal thing and has no bearing on my treatment of my sis or her LO. I'm sure that is something that won't even matter a few months from now.  

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • Remember, you are both pregnant and hormonal.  Make sure you aren't taking something personally that wasn't meant that way.  Maybe she was worried about passing the GTT and was really happy that she did. 
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  • Thanks! That really makes me feel great! I appreciate it!!! Sisters can be tough I think sometimes I am sure you had your share of difficulties with brothers though too generally I think those tend to take the form of physical scars Big Smile. I wouldn't trade my sis for anything but things get frustrating now and then.
    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • Sorry that you have a mean sister. I am 1 of 4 girls, & 3 of us were PG at the same time. My little sis is due April 2nd & my older sis is due April 5th. My baby sister called to tell me that she was PG right when I was in the hospital hooked up to monitors & meds trying to save my LO. My older sister waited to tell me till we knew everything was fine with my LO. That was greatly appreciated since I was not able to be happy for either one of them at that time. But my little sis is very competitive & insensitive. My older sis & I have a great relationship, but my little sis is a pain. She's been rubbing it in my face that she has yet another stress free PG & that I should give up on having more kids b/c my PG were rough.(see siggy) I just tell my self that she will get whats coming to her eventually.Devil
  • I totally get what you are saying!!!!!

    I'm the little sister (middle child) and my older sister is being horrible to me. At first she was excited (or pretended to be) and now we're not even talking. I think it's getting to her. I got engaged before her too, so she had to get married before me because she felt like she was the older sister.

    It's not that it's a competition, but it's a weird dynamic. I'm actually relieved that someone else is going through the same thing as me.

    My cousin (she's 3 years younger than me) just told everyone she's due July 13. I'm excited for her because she was trying for a year...but i'm happy that my child will be the first great grandchild. It's stupid, I know.

    Personally I feel it's the older sister's insecurities that are coming out.

     You should be so excited that you and your husband will have a baby soon and to worry about your sister's thoughts (I KNOW IT"S HARD). In a few months your baby will be the only thing that matters.

     

    DS 5/5/10 Due in Feb 2012!
  • image Mama2MyBabies:
    Sorry that you have a mean sister. I am 1 of 4 girls, & 3 of us were PG at the same time. My little sis is due April 2nd & my older sis is due April 5th. My baby sister called to tell me that she was PG right when I was in the hospital hooked up to monitors & meds trying to save my LO. My older sister waited to tell me till we knew everything was fine with my LO. That was greatly appreciated since I was not able to be happy for either one of them at that time. But my little sis is very competitive & insensitive. My older sis & I have a great relationship, but my little sis is a pain. She's been rubbing it in my face that she has yet another stress free PG & that I should give up on having more kids b/c my PG were rough.(see siggy) I just tell my self that she will get whats coming to her eventually.Devil

    just have to say that your LO is just perfect!!!!

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • FWIW, I'm a little sister too, and I'd just say that you guys should be a support system for each other! She's going through many of the same things... Just realize that she will more than likely be coming to you for advice, because you'll go through all the stages and phases before she will.

    If you can allow yourself to just be happy for her, you'll likely find that having your kids around the same time will actually be a plus - especially for the babies! If you two live nearby, they'll have a ready-made play-mate as they get older, and maybe you'll find you have an easier time of locating a sitter when you need it (and vice-versa). You can help each other getting back into shape, (I'd love to have a work-out buddy) set up baby play-dates together... And for a lot of things, you'll probably be able to share advice and help with each other.

    Enjoy your time being pregnant, and I'm sure that you'll forget all animosity once you've had your LO. And when she has her's, you'll get to be a doting auntie which is another of life's little blessings ;)

    I'll tell you, I kinda wish I lived closer to my sis (we moved 2,000 miles and then discovered we were expecting). And I know she would be a great support to have. So I'm just ecstatic that she's going to fly down to visit after our daughter is born.

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  • image bets12:

    I totally get what you are saying!!!!!

    I'm the little sister (middle child) and my older sister is being horrible to me. At first she was excited (or pretended to be) and now we're not even talking. I think it's getting to her. I got engaged before her too, so she had to get married before me because she felt like she was the older sister.

    It's not that it's a competition, but it's a weird dynamic. I'm actually relieved that someone else is going through the same thing as me.

    My cousin (she's 3 years younger than me) just told everyone she's due July 13. I'm excited for her because she was trying for a year...but i'm happy that my child will be the first great grandchild. It's stupid, I know.

    Personally I feel it's the older sister's insecurities that are coming out.

     You should be so excited that you and your husband will have a baby soon and to worry about your sister's thoughts (I KNOW IT"S HARD). In a few months your baby will be the only thing that matters.

     

     

    I think you only really understand the dynamic if you have a sister. and I think also you have to be pretty close in age for you to really understand.

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • sorry for posting on 3rd tri..I'm almost here and I'm curious to see what everyone is going through.

    My sister and i are 25 months apart and I agree that it may be easier to understand if you have a sister.

     Good Luck to you!!

    DS 5/5/10 Due in Feb 2012!
  • image Brandi Bee:

    Thanks! That really makes me feel great! I appreciate it!!! Sisters can be tough I think sometimes I am sure you had your share of difficulties with brothers though too generally I think those tend to take the form of physical scars Big Smile. I wouldn't trade my sis for anything but things get frustrating now and then.

    You're welcome!  I have a SIL whom I think was a little bothered that I started TTC before her and apparently she sort of implied to my parents she had more "right" to get pregnant first or something?!  It was soooo stupid and self-absorbed, but I just ignored it completely.  I imagine the situation would have been much much worse had she been my bio sister.  

    I am lucky in that aspect....I didn't think of that until now.  I just have three brothers who protect me.  Sisters can be protective too, they just come with extra baggage, lol.

    ain't that the truth!!!! :)

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • I had a similar feeling of aggravation or envy very recently, which I had to get through when I figured out that it's not all about me... Haha... My FI's older sister and his older brother who already have children are both now expecting their second children, within 9 months of our first. When they first told us, I let it get to me as if it was somehow lessening the significance or our child-to-be...

    But as I said, if you can just allow yourself to be happy, not only for yourself, but for your sister, I'm sure you'll find its even more exciting to have her be a first-time mom at the same time as you. When my sis was expecting her first, I always tried to be there for her, but it wasn't quite the same, because I never knew how all-consuming pregnancy and mommy-hood becomes. Now that I have experienced pregnancy I understand how quickly the baby becomes your whole world... I used to get annoyed at my sis because as a new-mom, that's all she ever talked about.

    If I had been through it, or was going through it, I bet I could have been a lot more understanding and supportive. So hopefully, you'll find that she is there for you completely...

    Best of Luck to you both!

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  • image Brandi Bee:
    image Brandi Bee:

    image Brandi Bee:
    IMO, you both are being really immature.  You shouldn't hold that "first grandchild" thing over her head.  It might make you feel good, but if it sticks it could make her child feel pretty terrible for not being "first" and make her think your parents don't think he or she being born was as exciting.  That's not cool no matter what your sister is pulling.  Just ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy and becoming a mother.  This isn't a competition. 

    Just because I mentioned having the first kid on my post does not mean I have EVER said that to her or my parents . I have too much respect for my sister to do that. Just because I am happy about it for myself does not mean that I would EVER take it out on my niece. Furthermore she has told me she was happy that I am going first. This post had NOTHING to do with making her feel bad, it's how she is making me feel. I don't hold anything over my sister's head and wouldn't dare pull that garbage but thanks for the response.

    It was just the way you posted it: "Finally, I get to do something first." It implied to me that competition has been going on between the two of you long before either of you were pregnant.  Even if you've never said it, your sister may have picked up on your delight at your baby being first, thus somehow being more important than hers.   It doesn't mean I think you'd "take it out on" your niece, but the attitudes might affect the children and cause them to act the same way towards each other and you don't want that sort of problem in your family.

    In any case, it wasn't my intention to offend you but to offer advice that people who want to one up you all the time or compete with you should be ignored.  Don't participate in their competition and it will eventually stop.

    I appreciate the response. I just want to make sure that everyone understands that I'm nothing but happy that she is pg and that my LO is going to have a cousin so close in age. As far as the whole competition thing is concerned, I don't know if you have a sibling or anything but it is part of life I believe when you have a sibling relatively close in age. It's nice to have the oppurtunity to be reaching new ground on your own in a terrritory your older sibling has not. That is a personal thing and has no bearing on my treatment of my sis or her LO. I'm sure that is something that won't even matter a few months from now.  

    I have three brothers, but no sisters!  So I'm not as in the know about sisterly stuff like this, lol.  I get what you're saying and I was just going to post that in a few months, you will be so in love with your child AND your niece you won't care (and believe me, you will be....being an aunt is amazing!).

    Oh brother! and the truth comes out! Brandi Bee is at it, again giving advice and opinions on something she knows nothing about nor ever will! LOVE IT

    OP I have 2 sisters younger than me that are pregnant! yes, one is due 3-4 weeks after me and one is due just 4 months later. My middle sister is on her 2nd kid. I just think that perhaps your hormones are taking over because none of what she (my sis) has said is super offensive to me because she has been through it first. When this sister called to tell me she has placenta previa, me and our other sister didn't boast to her that we don't! because that's not nice. However, we do call each other and talk about our appts and such almost right after each one. We are excited to share info with each other because we have someone that is going through very similar things as each other.  However not every pregnancy, woman and birth is the same and that's how I look at it. Me and my sister have totally different plans on the way we plan to labor...I am not offended by hers and she is not offended by mine. GL but take everything with a grain of salt. I don't think your sister has such cruel intentions as you think. I could be wrong though since sister dynamics are so different.

  • image Mama2MyBabies:
    Sorry that you have a mean sister. I am 1 of 4 girls, & 3 of us were PG at the same time. My little sis is due April 2nd & my older sis is due April 5th. My baby sister called to tell me that she was PG right when I was in the hospital hooked up to monitors & meds trying to save my LO. My older sister waited to tell me till we knew everything was fine with my LO. That was greatly appreciated since I was not able to be happy for either one of them at that time. But my little sis is very competitive & insensitive. My older sis & I have a great relationship, but my little sis is a pain. She's been rubbing it in my face that she has yet another stress free PG & that I should give up on having more kids b/c my PG were rough.(see siggy) I just tell my self that she will get whats coming to her eventually.Devil

    just have to say that your LO is just perfect!!!!

     

    Thank you, I'm so blessed to have him. Its hard having sisters, try & not let her get to you. Enjoy being PG, & enjoy that you will have your LO first. hehe

  • OP, like PPs said, just focus on your pregnancy and on the LO you'll have after.  Don't let her ruin it for you just because she's more dramatic than you.

    I'm on the other side of the same issue - I've been fortunate to have a smooth pregnancy so far.  My SIL, who has the same EDD roughly, had a rough pregnancy last time (not even this current pregnancy.)  So, all I hear about from her and my MIL is how high risk she is (their terms, not the doctors), how much harder things are for her (as far as I know, she had one situation with kidney stones and she failed her 1 hr GD test - that's it) and how lucky I should know I am (I won't argue with that...)  It's my first pregnacy and her third...and there would be no way I would go to her for advice, since it'd be reinforced how easy I have it.

    It's frustrating to always hear the dramatics but that's her way of life and I couldn't handle it myself if I lived each day like that.  I'm focusing on myself and others I know who have normal outlooks on their pregnancies...

    Lucas Arlo - 2/26/10, Cordelia Jane - 1/20/12 
    #3 is due 8/27/14

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  • Speaking as an older sis, yes, she is trying to rub it in your face.  We are not used to being number 2!  It will be great having your kids grow up together though (the cousin I am closest to is only five months older than me).
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  • image zeptattoo:
    Speaking as an older sis, yes, she is trying to rub it in your face.  We are not used to being number 2!  It will be great having your kids grow up together though (the cousin I am closest to is only five months older than me).

    THANK YOU!!!!! Truth comes out!!! :)

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • image zeptattoo:
    Speaking as an older sis, yes, she is trying to rub it in your face.  We are not used to being number 2!  It will be great having your kids grow up together though (the cousin I am closest to is only five months older than me).

    THANK YOU!!!!! Truth comes out!!! :)

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
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