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When did you tell others that you were adopting?
Hi,
I was just wondering when you told people that you were planning to adopt other than family. Mainly friends. I have told my close friends, but should I wait until we are approved before telling other people, or do you think it is beneficial to have their support? Thanks!
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Re: When did you tell others that you were adopting?
We were open from day one too...we have tons of adoption in our families though, so it wasn't a big leap for anyone.
Open book here as well. We've been that way with both our IF journey and our adoption journey. It has also helped open the minds and eyes of the people around us who never knew about IF and adoption!
PS - your dog = sooo much cuteness!!!
We told our immediate family and anyone we wanted to use as references during our homestudy process, but held off telling others until we were homestudy approved. We just wanted to make sure that we wouldn't be denied before we shared the news with others. The last thing we'd want if we didn't pass the homestudy was to explain to everyone what happened.
To be honest, keeping the secrete was tough at times, but we've been in process for almost two years now, and it's also tough when everyone's always asking for updates and you have nothing new to tell them. Do what feels right to your husband and you, but make sure you are in agreement, whatever that is.
We were pretty open as well. We didn't do any big announcement or anything. We just told people as we saw them. Everyone was really excited.
I think you should just tell people when it feels right to you. Adoption is such a lengthy process, that I enjoyed being able to tell people about the baby steps we were making during the homestudy process.
It depends on the type of relationship you have with your boss. I told mine when we started the process, but didn't talk much more about it until our homestudy was approved. Once our homestudy was approved, I explained that we could have a baby in a day or in a year, or never. I explained that we might receive 2-3 months notice, or we might receive none. Essentially, we are pregnant but don't know the due date. He was very supportive.
We've told people in layers. Some of my closer friends have been following along, so it was an organic part of the conversation. We let a few people know in our Christmas cards, and asked them to think good thoughts for us. I told core people at work once our HS was approved, and a few more once our profile went active.
Do what works for you. Good luck!
I am half and half right now. Our immediate family knows (parents and siblings) and our close friends. I've seen lots of people announcing their pregnancies on Facebook and would love to announce our adoption, but I am holding off until we are matched. I might change my mind once the home study is completed.. but I am afraid of being pitied (sp?). But I don't want pity.. I want to scream it from the rooftops!! "AFTER ALL THAT TTC.. WE ARE ADOPTING!!" But I am not naive enough to think that everyone will rejoice with us, some will offer sympathy.
I would just go with your gut... most of the time, if we are asked about kids (depending on the person) we'll answer two ways: 1) Not yet or 2) We're actually starting the adoption process. It just depends on how many more questions we want to answer.
I have only told my immediate family. Since I'm doing an embryo adoption first, it's more likely to be a big to do and I'm not going to put myself through any unneeded stress beforehand. I know they'll be very happy afterwards so I'll wait and get it all out there then.