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Special Needs
amajane
member
Upcoming birthday party
amajane
member
My daughter is 22 months but looks and acts like a 9 month old (just started crawling but not anywhere close to standing alone or walking. And no words).
A coworker has invited us to her typical child's 1st birthday party. Of course it will be a room full of typical children younger than my daughter walking, running and chatting away. Up to this point I have been able to avoid surrounding myself with typical children and their boastful parents. I just can't fathom how I am going to enjoy myself while fielding questions about my daughter's delays and medical conditions while putting on a smile as I watch healthy children doing things I can't even imagine my daughter will ever do.
Regardless, I have to go. I promised my coworker I would. So what would you do in my situation to lessen the discomfort? Would you mention something beforehand to your coworker? Like "Hey, if I don't stick around for very long it's only because I can't emotionally handle being the only mom with a special needs kid in a room full of typical children", or should I just suck it up and realize this is only the beginning or a lifetime of "uncomfortable situations" that I will need to learn how to deal with?
A coworker has invited us to her typical child's 1st birthday party. Of course it will be a room full of typical children younger than my daughter walking, running and chatting away. Up to this point I have been able to avoid surrounding myself with typical children and their boastful parents. I just can't fathom how I am going to enjoy myself while fielding questions about my daughter's delays and medical conditions while putting on a smile as I watch healthy children doing things I can't even imagine my daughter will ever do.
Regardless, I have to go. I promised my coworker I would. So what would you do in my situation to lessen the discomfort? Would you mention something beforehand to your coworker? Like "Hey, if I don't stick around for very long it's only because I can't emotionally handle being the only mom with a special needs kid in a room full of typical children", or should I just suck it up and realize this is only the beginning or a lifetime of "uncomfortable situations" that I will need to learn how to deal with?
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Re: Upcoming birthday party
I assume this coworker is a friend who knows your situation or you wouldn't feel obligated to go? If so, then if it were me, I would tell her that I wasn't sure how I would handle the party emotionally and that I definitely wanted to come but may not stay the whole time. I'm sure that 1) she will completely understand and 2) she will be so busy with it being her kid's first b-day party that she will barely notice if you leave.
I think you can force yourself to deal with an uncomfortable situation for a little while but I wouldn't torture yourself. It's just a birthday party and during the winter especially, I can guarantee you she will have at least a couple last minute cancellations because kids are sick. So if you show up at all, I'm sure it'll be appreciated. You have enough to deal with in your life so whatever makes it easier for you is what you should do!
I think it is great that you are going. I agree with the previous poster. She will appreciate you made the effort to come and will probably not notice that you left early.
Do what makes you feel comfortable. If you want to tell her beforehand, do. If you would rather just escape as necessary, I don't think you owe her a big explanation.
It is hard to see typically developing kids sometimes. Be good to yourself.
You "suck it up" on a daily basis dealing with all that you do. Don't add extra guilt to yourself.
You are doing a great job.
This exact thing happened to me
I took the kiddos to a friend's DS's 1st b-day. It sucked majorly. I just sucked it up and tried to pretend while I was there that it didn't bother me. I cried on the way home. It was harder b/c I wasn't really prepared for the questions on why my LO's weren't walking. I think that if prepare you self a little better for the questions, it might not be *so* hard.
((HUGS))
I'd tell your coworker.
And how is Marley 22 months? did you start planning HER bday party yet? And she is crawling now? I knew she was creeping but is she full on quadruped crawling?? That is awesome and I demand a photo.